Bonde Jokes Anyone?

by hillbilly 38 Replies latest social humour

• 

  John Doe

  I was in town the other day, and came across a couple of old friends who were with a blonde.

  The guys said "Hey, watch this John." One pulled out a nickel and a dime and held them out for the blonde to see.

  He told the blonde "You can have one, but only one. Which one do you want?"

  The blonde considered for a couple of seconds and then thoughtfully took the nickel.

  "Oooohhh, it's bigger and shinier than the dime," she said. The two guys burst out laughing.

  I felt bad for the blonde, so later on I pulled her aside and explained to her that the dime was worth more than the nickel, even though it was smaller.

  She promptly replied, "How many times do you think they'll pull this trick if I take the dime? Like, duh."
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  She promptly replied, "How many times do you think they'll pull this trick if I take the dime? Like, duh."

  This is great.

  Thanks to Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield, a lot of the teenaged boys in my highschool assumed the blonde girls were stupid. It was interesting to use that to advantage.
• 

  crazyblondeb

  OK-this blonde has been silent long enough!!! (Like it'll make a difference!) I just won't let ya'll know how "blonde" I can be at times!!!

  Oh, when God created men, she was only joking!!!!!!
• 

  catchthis

  What does a blonde normally say after having sex?

  "Are all you guys on the same team?"
• 

  Latte

  FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

  
  A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her
  little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who
  was also a blonde.
  The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.
  She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
  "What does it look like?" she finally asked.
  The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
  The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it
  and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.
  The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
  "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
• 

  John Doe

  Yeah, it's been my experience that most blondes like to use their reputation to their advantage.

  I have a true life experience that my sister wouldn't like me to share though. She's been blonde since the day she was borne, and I have a couple exploits I'd like to share with you. She's not unintelligent, I'll say that right off. She was, in fact, salutatorian of her class.

  A couple of years ago, she ran across some hair gell in walmart and decided to try it out. I came over when she was trying to use it. She couldn't figure out what she'd done wrong. It was regular hair gell, but I kid you not, she had put it in her freezer before using it. The name of the stuff was "Freezeit." The first line of instructions were "When you Freezeit, your hair. . ." I'm not joking. True life blonde for you. :-)

  Another was her understanding of the old country song that went "I'm walking the floor over you." Naturally, she always thought the guy was in the second floor and the girl was in the basement. She's always good for a laugh. She'd kill me if she saw this I bet. :-)
• 

  tijkmo

  reminds me of another incident with my blonde sister

  at the meal table one evening i asked everyone if they knew what the longest one syllable word in the english language is..(i had heard it discussed that day)..it is the word 'stretched'

  after a couple of guesses inc jokes like -smiles-(cos theres a mile between the first and last letter)(although there was some debate over that being one syllable)..they gave up

  funnily enough i said the word is onomatopoeic

  really said my sister......on-o-mat-o-poe-ic

  thats more than one syllable
• 

  stillajwexelder

  Why do blondes only have 15 minute lunch breaks? Saves on tthe retraining costs
• 

  dmouse

  A beautiful blonde sits next to a handsome man in a bar, and after he buys her a couple of drinks, she says in a seductive voice "I'll do ANYTHING you can name in three words for $200".

  I heard a slightly diferent version:

  The blonde offers to do anything for $50 and the man gives her a can of paint and says 'OK, paint my porch!'

  Ten minutes later she comes back and says 'Finished!' 'That was quick' said the man. 'Yes', said the blonde, 'and it isn't a Porche it's a Ferrari!'

  Do you know what an Aeroplane Blonde is? It's a woman who has dyed her hair blonde but still has a black box.