How To Enjoy Assemblies By Being Rebellious (page 2)

wannaexit

That's a great idea. I'm going to try it at the district convention in a few weeks.

wanna

I worked in auditing (counting contributions) for many, many years.

People often put notes in the contribution boxes. There are people who are assigned to sort out the various denomination of bills and checks. The notes are immediately set to the side and handed to an attendant. The 'sorters' are not permitted to read any of the notes. If there is something encouraging, the note is read outloud to the entire crowd. Many, many are crumbled up and disposed of.

It might get someone's attention, but most likely it will only be read by AT MOST three or four people at each assembly. That would be if the 'sorter' broke the rules and stole a quick glance, shared it with a co-worker (unlikely), and if the brother collecting the notes shared it with another brother.

To get more attention, you might have greater success planting messages in people's bibles. You know, like you are looking for your own bible and quickly leave a little paper inside so they find it later on. Scatter thru the arena. THAT may get more attention without out too much commotion.

I'm anxious to hear the 'apostate experiences' from this convention. It's my first time on the apostate's side...!

-Aude.

jgnat

Come early with an armload of WT materials you are ready to dump and randomly save the best seats.

Bring a dolly well wrapped-up, a baby seat, a diaper bag, a baby blanket, and some jingly toys. Take three seats in the family section. Once in a while, shake a jingly toy at the dolly.

Load candy canes in your purse/briefcase, and leave them in the washrooms and upper decks for the children.

Go to the bathroom during closing remarks to be first in line for the latest release. Ask for three or four for your ageing aunt, your shut-in pioneer uncle, etc. etc. Smile warmly to the line forming behind you.

stillajwexelder

8. Show too much cleavage

I vote for that

Leolaia

Hey, don't forget BULLSHIT BINGO! :))

Aude_Sapere

'Bullshit Bingo' LOL Where's the thread that explains this fun little diversion???

in a new york bethel minute

how about getting fake attendant badges??? it's not like they have barcodes on them... imagine an apostate attendant? instead of those "quiet please" signs they carry around during the sessions, you could have an important, LIFE-SAVING message on that little sign... patronize, patronize, patronize the society and their wonderful kingdom of drones...

bethel

MidwichCuckoo

To get more attention, you might have greater success planting messages in people's bibles. You know, like you are looking for your own bible and quickly leave a little paper inside so they find it later on.

Aude_Sapere - now THAT is genius. There is always lots of personal literature left on seats - brilliant opportunity to plant flyers.(unlike the car park which has attendants).

avishai

3. Wear your name tag-badge while visiting every adult book store in town.
- and topless bars and gentlemen' clubs and gay bars.

Oh, hell yeah. I'm doin' that.

EvilForce

Go into one of the bathroom stalls and start "self abuse" and moan and groan loudly.

Pick up a container of squid (bait) and let sit in the sun for a week before the assembly. Accidently spill down the stadium steps before the session starts. Smells worse than you can possibly imagine.

Pick up white viynl shoes & belt along with nice plaid leisure suit from the 70's store and wear. Big horned rimmed glasses make this outfit.

Sit in your seat sniffing markers you are writing with.

Pretend you have Turette's Syndrome.....say loudly AMEN at inappropriate times. Facial tics so bad no one can pay attention.

Bring laptop with you along with wireless connection and surf JW.com while listening to keynote speaker.

Have child actors .... pretend to whack them across the face repeatedly.... have them bawl their eyes out

Bring your iPod and w/ earphones....if any brother says anything to you say it's a new iHearingPod...you can hear the speaker that way

You and your friend pretend you are deaf and make fake sign lang. to each other while "unknowingly" grunting and moaning during main talk

Put a "handle" and "seeing eye dog insignia" on your golden retriever. Have him bark incessantly...pooping, peeing, and humping everyone's leg

For lunch break out the limburger cheese and liverwurst sandwich

At the hotel pool wear your thong...guys only.... with your name badge cliped to the dental floss thigh piece

Men....wear a kilt

Women....wear a wife beater and mullet

Talk very loudly the entire 3 days about how you and the misses are going to buy the flowers around the stage to help brighten up the trailer back home.

Dress like Lance Armstrong w/ biker shorts...carry bike up stadium steps with you...when people ask what you are doing say you ride 100 miles each way everyday because you can't afford a hotel room. Make sure to wear really expensive sunglasses and lycra shirts in neon.

Drive a beat up 1975 baby blue van with loud speakers blasting "Religion is a Snare and a Racket" as you pull into the parking lot. Make sure to have an Awake graphic plastered on side of van that says 6 billion hearts will soon stop beating.

Bring flask and continually spike Shasta soda every 15 mins.... giggle every once in a while

"Accidently" knock over book bag.... 500 Camel Cigarette Bucks go flying.

Covertly leave "unfurled" condoms under seats.

At hotels while Dubs at session slide copies of "Honcho", "Inches", "GayBoi", and "Freshmeat" under door.

How To Enjoy Assemblies By Being Rebellious

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