Elders will not marry couple

by Nosferatu 20 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Nosferatu

  My mother has a friend in another congregation. She has been dating, and is wanting to marry. Here's where the "problem" comes in...

  The guy is 20, she is 33. The Elders have decided that they should interfere. They "advised" the couple to date for a couple more years before deciding to get married. As a result, none of them will perform the ceremony should they decide to get married before the elders give the okay. So, this couple is strongly considering seeking out a JOP to perform the ceremony. The elders have advised against this, saying "You should only marry in the Lord".

  Do you think one or both of these people will get DFed if they proceed?
• 

  wanderlustguy

  let's see, two people, both in their sexual prime...naaaaah, no problem.
• 

  xjwms

  wanderlustguy has the right idea.
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  BrendaCloutier

  Sounds like the elders are pushing for fornication and a good disfellowshipping. They must be bored.
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  blondie

  I take it they are both baptized JWs and in good standing; but then it is the elder's decision or at least one pushy elder on the BOE.

  Tell them just to go get married by a justice of the peace; judge or whatever the legal system of Canada allows. It won't be any less legal and will still have God's blessing. BTW to marry in the Lord means that the person you are marrying must be of the same belief. Weddings performed by non-JWs are permissible under the WTS regime. What idiots!

  Sheesh

  Blondie
• 

  blondie

  *** w52 6/15 p. 357 The Marriage Ceremony ***

  Today, men, in the form of priests, rabbis, ministers, etc., claim that they are the important and responsible witness before whom those entering wedlock must take their vows; and some go so far as to claim that unless the union is blessed by them it is not properly solemnized. Frankly, this is an entirely unscriptural and hence false claim on their part. At best they are only the official witnesses who see to it that the necessary records required by the state are properly executed and filed. Any justice of the peace, city clerk, judge of the court or other official designated by the state as qualified could serve just as well. The only difference between a clergyman and those other public officials mentioned is that the clergyman is supposed to know the mind of the Lord on the matter and thus be qualified to instruct the candidates on their Scriptural obligations toward each other and toward their God.
• 

  blondie

  Marriages by non-JWs are scriptural. Here is an experience re Lloyd Barry

  ***

  w01 4/1 p. 26 We Were a Team ***

  In 1940, Lloyd’s mother visited Australia, and Lloyd told her that we were thinking of marriage. She advised him against it because the end of the system of things seemed imminent. (Matthew 24:3-14) He also mentioned his intentions to his buddies, but each time, they talked him out of getting married. Finally, one day in February 1942, Lloyd quietly took me—along with four Witnesses who had been sworn to secrecy—to the registry office, and we got married. There was no provision then in Australia for Jehovah’s Witnesses to perform marriages.

  ***

  w74 5/1 p. 276 What Kind of a Wedding? ***

  There is, of course, no objection to Jehovah’s witnesses being married at a home or in some place where civil marriages are performed.
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  blondie

  I bet if he were 33 and she were 20 it would be a different story.
• 

  Scully

  I knew a couple with an even bigger age difference. He was 20, she was 45 and there was no problem at all with their wanting to get married. Interestingly enough, her father was an elder in the congregation and the family was quite wealthy. Of course, the money has absolutely nothing to do with it.
• 

  Gopher

  So, this couple is strongly considering seeking out a JOP to perform the ceremony. The elders have advised against this, saying "You should only marry in the Lord".

  To a JW who reads their Watchtower magazines properly, the teaching about "marrying in the Lord" means marrying only another JW. The WT Society does not forbid civil ceremonies.

  These elders are another example showing that JW leaders can make up their own rules and impose them against people they don't like in their congregation.

  The only way to stay a JW, apparently, has more to do with pleasing the leader-men then imitating any God or Messiah.