by david_10 35 Replies latest jw friends
Thank you Midwich, I really appreciate your thoughts.
I have to turn off the computer now, but I'll be back later tonight. Thank you all for your responses-----I'm very touched. I'll be seeing my Dad in a while and I think it's going to be a real hard day for him. After this thread runs for a day or so, I'll print out your comments and I know he'll appreciate them as much as I do.
Thanks, everyone.
David
Just one more!! Thanks Gill, I appreciate you. Be back tonight. David
(((David))) so sorry for you loss
My Mom died when I was a young teenager, and my Dad died during my mid-20's. I still feel like an orphan and occasionally still grieve even though it has been 34 years since I have seen my Mom and 20 years since I have seen my Dad.
I remind people: Call your parents and tell them you love them!
CodeBlue
(((david))). Take good care of yourself man.
I've also been thinking about if its best to just shut up about apostate stuff around family. It's just making my dad more and more recluse around me because of it. I don't really know. I think I'm gonna hold off a bit.
GBL
I know what you are talking about. My dad has seen the truth about the Troof and he is in his 70's it is really hard for him. My problem is with mom she atacks me and I find it impossible not to defend myself Dad ended up in a mental hospital over his finding out. He is better now but still has a hard time with it all, just like me. I wonder all the time if I should of told my dad and mom. But the fact is they were not going to leave me alone so I had to respect them enough for dad to show me where I was going wrong. The only thing was he proved to himself that he was wrong. Boy has it been hard for them. I know that my mom will not live as long as she should because it has aged her many more years than noramal,.
My condolences to you and your family David...there is nothing more precious, than time spent with our family. Please let the guilt go, and remember your mother with a smile on your face, and a song in your heart. Knowing that there was a lot of love shared, and you have wonderful memories. As someone else said, leave the guilt for the WTBTS...
Delilah
I know how you feel when you lose someone you love dearly. My grandma has been gone now for 13 years and the pain is still in my heart.
I was thinking about what you said, to call your parents right now and tell them you love them, but sometimes your parents won't let you into their hearts after you've left the organization and been disfellowshipped. My mom just turned seventy years of age and she is a hard hearted towards me as ever. She tells my aunt she loves me but she says she loves God more. Of course my aunt thinks my mother is a nut. How can you disown your own child ? There may never be a right answer to this dilema.
As much as my mother has hurt me, (my father died in 1995), she has hurt me even deeper because she has nothing to do with my son. He is 26 years old and he saw the fallacy of the organizaion when he was 15 or 16 and wanted nothing to do with the organization. It only took his mother me only 38 years to learn she'd been hoodwinked by the organization. I can tell you it upsets me that my mom is so callous and yet she calls herself a true christian.
Moms are mom forever as they say. But that doesn't seem to apply to JWs. mothers in many families.
I tried to tell my mom years and years ago that I wanted to leave the organization beause I no longer believed it to be the truth. She felt I was spritually sick and weak because I didn't go out in the service hardly ever or go reegularly to all the meetings. But my health didn't seem to be a good enough reason for her. Maybe she was right. But she didn't help either when two weeks prior to my leaving the organization she bitterly said some cruel things to me. In fact for two weeks we didn't speak and she told my sister she overstepped herself by attacking me. I didn't see my mom for over three years. She was ill and in the hospital and I did go to see her. I know she has a lot of guilt and regrett over the things she said to me.
My sister and I were like to peas in a pod always together everyday doing whatever, laughing crying, being crazy and just plain happy together. It cut her deeply when I told her I was leaving but the moment in our converstation I told her I had "sinned" she quickly turned on me viciously and started in a threatening manner what she was going to do. I thought to myself after wards how quickly she turned on me. It was like a second or two. Now I wonder if our bond was as deep as I thought. Maybe she justed used me to help her with her life and kids. I am not sure anymore and I can't cry over it anymore because it doesn't change anything.
I think now she has come to accept the inevitable that we will never have a relationship again. She is the mirror of my mom and yet they repel one another. They can't be together for two minutes before one of them starts at the other. I was never like that I always despite my feelings showed love and respect to my mother. We only had had in my life that I remember two or three times where harsh words came out of my mouth and vise versa. I know I was always a reminder of my mothers teen years stolen from her when she got pregnant at 15yrs of age. I think she harboured resentment because of it. I was always treated like the black sheep of the family yet I would do anything anytime for any of my family.
I wish I could sometimes hug my mother and sisters to tell them dispite their division I still care about them. But they don't want to believe for one moment they could be in the wrong religion.
It's terriblly difficult to have feelings for ones who are so indifferent. That is why I do dispise the organization, because they have dealt serioius blows to families causing divisions where this shouldn't have happened. Who gave the organization the right to divide families. I am sure that Christ didn't really mean that we shoud hate one another and cause divisions in families.. It is the one thing I don't understand about the way Christ made that statement that he came to cause divisions between families. There must be a different meaning to this biblical text or maybe I just hope there should be.
I feel so sad for you and your mother and family and I hope that as the years pass you find it easier to deal with the lose. I am saddened that you are sepaerated from her deep love for you and your brother. Yes I tend to agree with you that all her life she was a witness and couldn't see any other way in life. Then when she learned the truth how it did devestate her. The disappointment is one of the hardest things to get over. Perhaps your mom just couldn't take the stress of what she learned.
Be assured that you did tell her only to protect her because of your great love for her and your father.
Sometime it would be nice to have a magic pill to make things all better.
Reatlty does at times bite.
Lots of hugs
love Orangefatcat...
((((((((((David)))))))))...I came across your topic and it touched my heart because I lost my dad 21 years ago June 3...and yesterday for some reason was really, really hard, as compared to other years. He was only 64 and died from a massive heart attack. No time to say good-bye.
I wish I could follow your advice and give my mom the love I would like to give her, she is 84 and shuns me. So much wasted time and lives.
Being only a year since you lost your mum...it must be very difficult. It is true that time helps...but it always still hurts.
Big hug...others care and know the pain you feel.
cathy l.
my heart goes out to you.....
OK, I finally got back, and I want to thank everyone for all your responses. My Dad is not computer savvy at all, so I'm going to print all these out and I know he'll be very touched by your compassion. My brothers and I went over to see him during the day and he's doing pretty good, considering everything--------------------------------understandably a little down, but all-in-all, pretty good.
Thank you , Skyman, for writing------I remember a few weeks ago that MerryMagadline, I think, related your story, and I recall that it was best account of leaving the Watchtower that I've ever read. I identified with everything you said and your story made a profound impression.
I wish I could follow your advice and give my mom the love I would like to give her, she is 84 and shuns me. So much wasted time and lives. Cathy, I know what you mean-------------but keep trying. She may never respond to you, but at least your conscience will be clear when that inevitable time comes.
Wow!! OFC, that's quite story and all too typical, I'm afraid. I wish you the best and I hope it all works out. I really appreciate your sharing it with me and I thank you for your condolences.
I'm sure sorry, codeblue, to hear about you folks. Even though time passes and life goes on, some things stay with you for life. I remind people: Call your parents and tell them you love them! That's exactly what I say! If you wait till tomorrow, it might be too late-----you never know.
...there is nothing more precious, than time spent with our family. Yes, Delilah, that's what I keep trying to tell everybody. Some believe it, but a lot don't. Some have so much bitterness and animosity built up that they feel that they won't feel any guilt or pain when they lose their loved ones. I hate too differ, but they're wrong. I've seen what happens, and they're going to find out the true depth of their feelings only when it's too late to do anything about it.
Thank you, too, GBL, codeblue and swiftbreeze. Your expressions mean a lot to me Thank you, Thank you to everyone.
David
