Them thinking that pioneering is equal to my full time job!

by LongHairGal 24 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Panda

  Delilah, I guess you've never been to Mexico... I live near the border and used to go often... I wouldn't want to live there. The dust dirt and humidity and heat are awful most of the year. Unless she spoke Spanish she would probably have been someplace like SanMiguelAllende which is gorgeous and luxorious for the Americans who move there.

  I knew some snobby pioneers, but I figure every dog has their day, and to quote Dolores Claiborne "Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has left.". The young single brothers who were pioneers were the ones who got the most help from the congregations. They never had to buy food because the sisters would constantly ask them over for snacks and/or dinner. Whenever MrP worked with one of these young guys he always complained that they would sit around and not get work done.

  My most difficult time was with sisters who were jealous. At that time I was fantastic looking. I sewed my own clothes because I couldn't afford to buy anything (I worked PT at a fabric store and would get free discarded patterns and also made display garments for free because I would later be able to wear them). And we had no kids. Anyway I felt osterosized, alone and back stabbed, gossiped about, and evil eyed. THEN whenever some picnic or whatever was coming up I would be told I had to bring something baked or cooked. I was intimidated by these women. I totally broke down at one point and ... well ... decided I was not good enough.

  I would not have been joyful because some asshole elder got caught having sex w/someone. If everyone knew they should have told the sister. So it seems to me that those who knew and didn't tell and were over joyed by the divorce were the same as all the backstabbers and snobs ("I know something you don't know neh neh ne neh neh") who you claim to dissaprove.
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  delilah

  Panda, I was not overjoyed when this man was caught, and DF'd...my heart went out to the wife...I was not privy to any info until after the fact...but while he was carrying on, he was going about disturbing the peace with others, so to keep the heat off himself. THAT, I was privy too, as it invoved a family member...This sister was in fact staying in a nice spot, near Puerta Villarta, for 6 months, while they pioneered, and while there's no doubt in my mind that they did occasionally venture out into the "fields" and countryside, they did in fact conduct a number of their bible studies by the poolside...It was no hardship on their part to pioneer down there. That is the point I was trying to make,and the fact that they did think they worked harder than anyone else who held a fulltime job....I am not a spiteful person, and I'm sorry if I came across as such, I wish no ill-will on anyone...but neither do I appreciate snobby people looking down their noses at others who may not be full-time pioneering, because they have a family to raise...Pioneering is not the same as working a full time job...been there done that....yes, you get tired, but it's a different kind of tired, and why would anyone even try to compare the two???? And in case you are wondering, no I was not ever jealous of the other pioneers, I love my life, I'm comfortable with who I am, always have been, and always will be...I love people, I have lots of friends, and have embraced ALL people, from ALL walks of life...I've never snubbed anyone....and I never will. AND, I have never been happy at someone else's misfortune....even when they've caused my family grief...I still feel for them..

  Delilah
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  delilah

  Panda, I have known lots of full-time pioneers who worked 2 and 3 jobs on the side, and worked themselves into the ground..as you and Mr.Panda have done. But , There seems to be a lot of younger generation pioneers who are a bit pampered, and don't know what it's like to work like a dog and pioneer...these seem to be the ones who think they have it tough....not all, but a good lot of them...sleeping in the van until it's their turn to take a door...and counting the time...I know they're young, they'll grow up, but it seems rude to me that some of these ones would have the nerve to look down their noses at others who couldn't pioneer for whatever reasons, and compare their pioneering job, to working full-time...that's all...not everyone is pioneer material.

  Delilah
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  Panda

  Delilah, Okay. Ya know I remember the way some friends would look at me real strange when I moved to Texas and had a conversation. Finally my friend LL said to me " Ya know the way you talk well THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS" In the last 20 years I've learned the Texas way, so whenever I talk to my NJ family I get taken aback a bit, and must remember that to them those ain't fightin' words. Once when a friend visited from "back east" he told Mr.Panda that Texans were "Fakey" yeah apparently "nobody is really that nice." Anyway my point is that I realize you weren't being dogmatic and all knowing or snobbish ... Just Canadian.(I mean that in the nice "hello northern neighbor way)
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  talesin

  I realize you weren't being dogmatic and all knowing or snobbish ... Just Canadian.(I mean that in the nice "hello northern neighbor way)

  Them's fightin' words .... thanks for painting us all with a broad brush because you don't like the way one Canadian person expresses herself.

  This is not "the Texas way" I have learned from my friends here at JWD, Ms. Xena and the Rabbit. Shame on you.
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  Elsewhere

  plus the back-stabbing behavior you are faced with on a secular job at the Kingdom Hall.
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  Panda

  Talesin, I guess you didn't allow for tongue in cheek northern humour? And I did say ... oh shoot whatever...
• 

  Mary

  Panda said: I knew some snobby pioneers, but I figure every dog has their day, and to quote Dolores Claiborne "Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has left.".

  Gimme a break........so being a bitch is okay? These snobby pioneers make me sick. The majority of them haven't a f*cking clue what it's like out there in the real world.....I've done both: I've pioneered full time and I've worked full time. There's no comparison.
  

  The young single brothers who were pioneers were the ones who got the most help from the congregations. They never had to buy food because the sisters would constantly ask them over for snacks and/or dinner.

  Seeing as this religion encourages women to get married before they're out of their teens, and seeing as there's 10 girls for every guy in the Hall, what a surprise that young single sisters would invite potential marriage partners over for dinner........

  I would not have been joyful because some asshole elder got caught having sex w/someone. If everyone knew they should have told the sister. So it seems to me that those who knew and didn't tell and were over joyed by the divorce were the same as all the backstabbers and snobs ("I know something you don't know neh neh ne neh neh") who you claim to dissaprove.

  Panda, get your facts straight before you acuse someone of being "the same as all the backstabbers and snobs" in the congregation.......I know the people involved in this situation and the wife had been told countless times that her husband was screwing around on her. But because it would mean upsetting the apple cart, she simpy refused to believe it even when the elders told her that they had seen her husband holding hands with this other woman, and even coming out of a hotel. No one was "overjoyed" by the divorce except maybe the other woman and certainly Delilah could in no way be considered anything like the "elite" ones in the congregation, as she was treated like crap herself from the majority of them.
  
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  rebel8

  When I read the "Sometimes being a bitch..." comment, all I thought that meant was that the people who are being bitches are probably doing so because their lives are so bankrupt of anything else of value....they're just being bitches because they think acting superior will somehow transform them from inferior to superior. Having that possible explanation of their behavior makes me tend to pity them rather than feel intimidated or annoyed by them.

  An explanation about someone's bad behavior isn't necessarily an endorsement or excuse for it. I of course have no idea how the comment was meant to come across. Just saying I didn't interpret it that way when I read it.
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  LongHairGal

  Thanks for all your replies. Wow, this topic really presses a lot of buttons!
  
  Delilah: you are right when you say pioneering is a different kind of tired as compared to the stressed out I-wanna-kill-myself-or-somebody else tired you feel from a secular job.
  
  Panda: you are very very very right when you say that single brothers in the hall get all kinds of attention and they don't have to cook for themselves. (The single sisters can drop dead it seems.) It seems everybody (esp. older sisters) are tripping over themselves trying to help these "poor" brothers.
  
  Their calendars are all solidly booked with dinners they accept month after month, year after year (and their consciences don't bother them) from sisters who they MUST know care about them (but who they are not really interested in). Is this being an opportunist or what? This would be tantamount to me accepting dates from a man I don't really care about. I feel I would just be using him.
  
  But I have a conscience.