Can someone help me to understand?

by hiccup 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • hiccup
    hiccup

    I am very new to this whole "religion" and although I have pulled up some information on Jehovah's Witnesses, I can't seem to get my arms around it. The reason I have come here is because my father has been doing bible studies and readings for about 2 years now and over the last 6 months to a year he has been someone very different from who I used to know. It all started with a near fatal car accident and then with my sister getting involved with drugs and running away with her boyfriend. My father has worked his entire life to give my sister and I everything we could want and need and we have both fallen short of his expectations. I have been offered a really great opportunity in Europe but I am willing to forego that if it means that I can help my father pull out of whatever is going on emotionally. He has just told me that he has looked into a cleaning job at a university and work for just enough to give himself and my mother 3 meals a day. You have to understand, he was a self-employed business owner that had absolutely nothing handed to him and managed to buy our family a huge home, brand new cars, sent us to private schools and then me to private university. These last 1.5 to 2 years he has blown through a lot of their money they had saved and really is considering moving clear across the country to Amherst, MA to be a part of a clean-up crew!!!!!. What I am having a hard time understanding is if being a Jehovah's Witness is what has brought him to this idea? Is there anything within the religion that says that being financially successful is wrong or does anyone know what I can do? I am desperate and it breaks my heart to think of him cleaning up after college kids after he has managed to build this life with his own hands.

    Thanks for looking and I would appreciate any insight as to whether this JW practice has anything to do with this enormous change in personality and lifestyle.

  • Sirona
    Sirona

    Hi Hiccup and welcome.

    Yes, the JWs do discourage what they call "worldly careers". That means that the JW religion is more important than your career, it is more important than supplying your family with nice things.

    An example: they discouraged me from going to university because they said I should be focusing on spiritual things which means the Witnesses.

    They tell the JWs to quit their full time jobs so that they can go preaching full time. The thing is, most JWs who have been in the religion for a few years actually DO work full time, but you hear a different story taught to the young ones and to those who have just joined.

    Please keep reading. Maybe check out some sites in the "links" section of this website.

    Sirona

  • Joker10
    Joker10
    What I am having a hard time understanding is if being a Jehovah's Witness is what has brought him to this idea? Is there anything within the religion that says that being financially successful is wrong

    Absolutely not! And it has nothing to do with religion. Have a straight talk with your father. Ask him why the changes? Maybe he needs help from his own family.

  • Big Dog
    Big Dog

    Hiccup, welcome to the forum, I think you will be able to find the answers you are looking for here. There are some here that can offer very deep and extensive insights into the JW mindset and what joining might mean for your father and your family.

  • Sirona
    Sirona

    Please note that Joker10 is an active witness.

    Why not just look into the matter yourself to see what is the truth?

    Sirona

  • Del
    Del

    Hi Hiccup...my family was wealthy when my mum became a jw...then later on my dad became a jw and quit his job (they had enough wealth to live on indefinitely by that stage). Even though he quit his job and was baptised - still a kind of stigma attached to all of us because of money. It's not that we flaunted it, just had nice clothes, new car and a decent sized house. Anyway, my mum stopped wearing her suits and other nice clothes and instead started wearing these fugly skirts and cardigans things so she'd 'fit in' with all the other over 40 witness women that were at the kh. Just thankful that they didn't throw away all their money...it wasn't that the religion didn't accept wealth - just that it caused a lot of envy (lots of little green monsters attend that kh!). I hope you can get your dad to listen to reason...what happens if one of them gets sick? The organisation won't care for them or pay for treatment. And when people say but we need help! the org might just turn around and say "but you have to take the time to care for yourself and your family and that means providing the family with financial support". I saw it happen once and couldn't believe the orgs nerve after shoving down people's throats that field hours are MUCH more important than working, with the little addendum to negate liability of - but if you have to work to support yourself then keep it to a minimum. Is it possible for your parents to keep the house and rent it out? That way if things go South then they at least have 'investment' to fall back on.

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    Welcome hiccup,

    A few years after becoming a JW, my father sold an important part of his belongings and shortly after stopped his professional career. A lot of people I knew made similar choices under the influence of the WT.

    However... this was over 30 years ago, at a time when JWs expected an imminent end of the world; I guess such cases are rarer now, and such a choice would generally not be pushed on a very recent convert... but who knows?

    I think Joker10 is right on one thing: talk it over with your father to understand exactly what is on his mind and why. When you've done that we might be able to help you better.

  • Joker10
    Joker10
    Please note that Joker10 is an active witness.



    Why would an "active witness" not say it's OK to have a real career?

    \Why not just look into the matter yourself to see what is the truth?

    Great advice. Since Sirona is shoving no good answers down people's throats, why not talk to Witnesses personally? Instead of listening to biased opinions.

  • tetrapod.sapien
    tetrapod.sapien


    welcome hiccup!

    What I am having a hard time understanding is if being a Jehovah's Witness is what has brought him to this idea? Is there anything within the religion that says that being financially successful is wrong or does anyone know what I can do? I am desperate and it breaks my heart to think of him cleaning up after college kids after he has managed to build this life with his own hands.

    yes, the probability that the religion has brought him to this point is very high. and yes, the religion discourages "worldly pursuits" which include university and jobs that are "materialistic". they encourage people to "live simply", which actually means becoming a window washer or a janitor for most, and spending lots of time "preaching" (selling books from door to door).

    it kind of breaks my heart to read your experience. the reason why is because a lot of people try to help loved ones not go into the cult, but many end up doing so, only to become disillusioned decades later, if lucky. i would say that the chances of you helping your dad might already have passed. i would advise (and it's only my advice) to educate your mom as much as you can about this cult, and educate yourself about it. try to help your dad as much as you can before you leave for europe, and continue to via email when you are overseas. you never know. you are not a JW, so he will probably not mind debating with you.

    i hope this advice is good. and i wish you the best of luck.

    TS

  • GetBusyLiving
    GetBusyLiving

    Hi hiccup, just a quick point. Be careful in the way you talk with your dad about the Witnesses: a direct approach at this stage will result in affirming the warnings he has no doubt been given by the Wits, that he will be persecuted by his family for joining. It sometimes appears to the fledgeling cultist as a fulfilled prophecy, and its the only prophecy the dubs have ever gotten right for some. Get a hold of "Releasing The Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves" by Stephen Hanson for understanding the cult experience and strategies to help people get out of them. You can order it here:


    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0967068800/qid=1119476438/sr=8-2/ref=pd_csp_2/104-6726951-6996740?v=glance&s=books&n=507846


    GBL

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