A newbie's impression on this board, pros and cons

by smelly onions 293 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  jeanniebeanz

  Hi, Smelly Onions. Welcome to the forum.

  You have raised some interesting points in spite of the fact that your initial, and a couple since, post(s) really seemed to be aimed at being insulting. It seems to me that you are really enjoying your time here, and that's good. However, I think that you have seriously underestimated the amount of real pain that some of us have experienced. Stating that we could not love our families much if we were ready to leave the witness religion in spite of the fact that it would result in our losing our families is a bit of a stretch, imho.

  If one can maintain as cavalier an attitude as yours to their religion and just fake it to please their family, that's okay I suppose for some. For me though, I took it very seriously and could not lie to myself, my god or my family. Another thing I had to consider was the future of my children. Should I go back knowing it was all lies, what message am I sending to my children; that it is okay to allow others to blackmail you into staying with something you do not believe by threatening you with shunning? It was just too dishonest for me and I couldn't do it.

  I think that most of the anger you have seen is the result of pain, and only a few here have opened up to you to explain their reasons. Someone may make statements to you which come off as hateful and bitter, but you don't know the real story and so you assume they are just hateful people. You would be wrong in assuming that. You are judging them without knowing the facts, and then insulting people when they react to some of the more hurtful or judgemental statements you have made.

  We all have our reasons for our actions in life, just as you do. I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but please try to show a little more respect. There are a lot of people here with very real pain that you could not possibly understand.

  J
• 

  Apostanator

  smelly does not incite love and fine works like the organization he comes from claims to do. Just like the org, he flip flops. His reasoning only makes sense to him and he wants us to see it all his way. smelly, there is a life out here after the JW's perhaps he has been cast out of the JW world and is stuck not knowing how to cope.
• 

  katiekitten

  Smelly Ive read this whole thread, and im left with one question. What are you doing here?

  If I didnt like jews that much I wouldnt go onto a jewish board and say things like 'well, you know Hitler had some good ecomonic policies', and then howl loudly that I hadnt said anything personally hurtful to anyone, so why was everyone being so horrible to me?

  If I thought gay people were not such a good idea I wouldnt seek out their discussion board and say something like 'well AIDS could be from god', and then keep on going back and back to argue with them when they repsonded.

  I suggest you stop waving your salty fingers around peoples wounds. Some of us only have paper cuts, some have gaping big wounds, some of us dont even have scars, just a wicked sense of humour. Out of human politeness we try to keep our salty fingers to ourselves because we dont like causing hurt to our friends. You havent been here long enough to count any of the people here as a friend so I guess I can see why it might bother you less to cause hurt carelessly.

  Im kind of embarrased for you because you sound so young, and you sound like you still think you know everything. Nevermind, there are lots of people here who wont hold it against you that you have been so insensitive to our friends.

  Now you will have to excuse me, Smelly, because right now i am hurting for Avashai and his brother. Please feel free to apologise to him if the spirit move you.

  Also use peoples names, its a fundamental part of human interaction, and generates closer relationships between parties.
• 

  mrsjones5

  Yet many of you opted to leave the org and thus your families. So in truth your hatred of the org is greater than your love of your family.

  Smelly Smelly Silly Smelly,

  There you go with those blanket statements again. Will you ever learn? I think not. I'm not going to tell you my personal circumstances except to tell you I dont fit into your nice neat scenario and I'm gonna let you twist in the wind and try to figure it out.

  Heehee Silly Smelly *wagging finger*

  Josie
• 

  hillary_step

  SmellyOnions,
  

  Yes I have, haven't I. With the exception of the most distressing cases (disclaimer here for those horrible cases- death, molestation, physical abuse) I truly don't understand much of the anger here.

  Well, when you first arrived you offered no such disclaimer, so perhaps you have learned something too?

  While it is true that the 'blame' mentality is alive and well with many XJW's, it is by no means the norm. Many XJW's go on to have productive lives and move on with their lives after a period of readjustment. This period is not always pretty as broken dreams are never funny, and some of the posters that you criticize today will not be here next year, they will probably be your window-cleaning client in a home with numerous windows.

  Let me ask you a question, I knew of a JW who killed himself because he was disfellowshipped for smoking. He was unable to quit, and could not live with the pain of shunning. He left behind a wife and two children who now scrape a living. The WTS introduced smoking as a disfellowshipping offence in 1972. Previously to that it was tolerated. If the WTS had not changed its policy, this man would still be alive, and his children would not have to grow up without a father. He was killed by a policy change. The shunning policy has killed people and has caused as much devastation emotionally. Are you willing to define a boundary at which a person should be angry at the WTS for its policies? You would need to to continue your arguments effectivel.

  The event I relate presumably falls into the disclaimer catagory that you mention above. So, let me ask you, what if a person did not kill themselves but suffered enough mental anguish over this event to lose their self-esteem, to be prescribed drugs to get them through from day to day, to become depressed, would this be part of your disclaimer? This board is filled with people who have so suffered and need help to get their lives back together. Sometimes they are angry, sometimes cynical, sometimes sad, but they all bear the stripes of a high control religion on their emotions. Perhaps you best direct your efforts to supporting rather than criticizing them.

  It is not understanding such issues that convinces me that you are a very young person. You have a lot to learn.

  HS

  ( PS - It was I who chastized you for your spelling and grammar. I am not a 'girl' but a man. Do a google search and you will find out what my name means ). Anyway, thank you for trying to improve it for all the readers sakes.
• 

  stevenyc

  
  Hey smelly, you said: So in truth your hatred of the org is greater than your love of your family

  I'm sorry mate, but you are either; very naive, very stupid, or antagonistic. Leaving an organization is not necessarily out of hatred. For example, if you choose to leave this forum, by your own admition, you would not do so not out of hatred. You appear to be fixated on the hatred people have here, and yes there is quite a bit, however, many of us left after recognition of the falsity of its masquerade. If you choose a different path in life to your parents, say become a doctor instead of an engineer, and they choose to shun you over this, who’s being silly. How many posts have you read where people, after leaving or being disfellowshipped, have tried to keep in contact with their friends and families, only in return got kicked into the gutter.

  How many ordinary ‘worldly’ people do you know, and are very close to, that decide to defame you because in the end you told them that cheese cake is more preferable to you than pumpkin pie.

  Many of us, myself included, were brought up in the Watchtower organization. When given the choice of life or death, we chose life. How can you possibly defer responsibility of the despicable act of disfellowshipping from Jehovahs witnesses to those that discover they need a different path.

  You’ve stated that you have read up on much of the information showing the watchtower organization is false. By you own admition. And, yet, you still talk about returning because it’s no big deal. So who are you? Your opening statements, even though retracted, scream TROLL. You subsequently eased people along with some good thought-out comments, and them BAM! Another idiotic TROLL statement. Reading your comments throughout this thread, to me, you sound like a younger Jdub having fun with the apostates.

  I mean no ill will, bitterness, or hatred, towards you, or any other rank and file Jehovah’s Witness.

  Take care
  
  steve
• 

  Rod P

  Smelly,

  You think it would be a good idea to show our love for our family by staying inside the JW Organization and putting up with their lies.

  Do you not realize that that advice is asking us to become hypocrits? How can we be expected to perpetuate our own lie, pretending to be good little JW's and then go out in Field Service knocking on doors, trying to preach to and convert unsuspecting householders to those lies?

  I did go back, and I faced that very thing. I soon realized I could not stand myself if I had to do and live like that, day after day, month after month, year after year. It would show how little self-respect I had. And if I'm no good for myself, then I am no good for anybody else. Not my family, not the JW's, nor anyone else. Two lies don't make a right. Just because the WBTS/GB lies to the world and to it's own flock, it is no reason we should be forced to live another lie just to keep the family together. What kind of convoluted logic and hypocrisy at any price are you trying to peddle here, anyway? The fault lies with the Organization.

  Meanwhile, "To thine own self be true!"

  Rod P.
• 

  Junction-Guy

  "sour grapes" or not, Jehovah's Witnesses are a destructive religion, harmful to children, harmful to families, just plain harmful. It is a lying religion, a religion that rides the back of the government and tells the world otherwise. It desroys childrens lives, it destroys their childhood, it destroys the family, and to beat it all it is packaged ever so neatly, it truly is the worlds greatest fraud, and I will expose it whenever I have the opportunity.

  Dave
• 

  JT

  many of us left after recognition of the falsity of its masquerade

  Bingo, if anything not hatred but down right pity, to think that folks are spending the best years of their life being Hoodwinked and Bamboozled

  nope no hatred, just pity, but more important you need to separate the "Org" from sister old in africa or west va who has no idea that each month she is being laughed at by some of theboys sittig around a table up in new york city

  while her heart maybe sincere as the wt is quick to point out and rightly so, being sincere ain;t got JACK to do with being right- smile
• 

  JT

  You think it would be a good idea to show our love for our family by staying inside the JW Organization and putting up with their lies.

  $$$$$$$

  when i read that SM was advocating the above i almost fell on the floor, - how sad it is to confuse standing up for what is right and loving ones family0 it is such type of reasoning that is truly sad

  ask yourself folks could you every see a jw telling a bible study, "Stay in your church and put up with the lies if you love your family- cause god will understand why you didn't worship him in the correct way since you loved your family so much"

  someimes when you read the way someone conncected to jw think it is almost unbelievable