Hi Apostanator
My whole family is in the troof. I am at a point were I want to present them a book on cults. I have nothing to lose as they have dis-owned me for years and have only recently came back into my life as a result of my moms illness ( alzeimers ) These people are driving me nuts!!! Their thought process makes me mental and everything is on their terms. I am so angry and bitter !! I have been on my own for 10 years and have struggled to make something of myself. Their intrusion into my life has set me back to the point were I'm depressed and seeing a therapist weelky. I have struggled to put the JW thing behind me and now it's thrown in my face again. The therapist understands my situation as she has a sister in a high control group also. I know they're in a cult and I know why they think the way they do but I'm tired of being the understanding one. They don't care about me or even want to get to know me. It's just,,,,,,"you can see ma now because she is sick but when she dies we will have nothing to do with you again". That's what was told to me! I want to tell them point blank that they're in a cult and present them with the cult book. My hope is that this will shock them. I have nothing in common with these walking drones. I hate to feel this way but I need to move on for my own sanity. The only way I feel I can do it is to just be cut off from them.
You haven't gone into a lot of detail, but there have been other experiences posted here about similar situations where the exJW family member was allowed to participate in the sick/dying relative's care while the JWs carried on attending the KH and going door-to-door. I sincerely hope that you are not being used that way, especially if it's been made clear that it's for their convenience more than it is for your benefit to be able to see your mom before she passes away.
In all honesty, I would just focus on being there for your mother. Whenever a JW relative says something ignorant like you mentioned, I would throw it right back in their face and say "Well, I'm here for our mother, and if that's how YOU feel about ME, then I'd prefer to not have to deal with your hypocrisy. Just let me do what I'm here to do, and leave me alone. I don't want anything to do with you now if you're only going to treat me the same way when you're done with me. Good bye."
When you do this, you're taking back control of the situation and not giving them the satisfaction of shunning you, because you're doing it to them. They can't imagine anyone not wanting to bask in their glorious company, and when you tell them to go pound sand, it's a big shock to them, and to be on the receiving end of it for a change stings quite a bit.
By the way, good for you for making a new life for yourself over the past decade. I know how going back to that environment can make it feel like you're starting the recovery process all over again, but try to think of it as a "blast from the past" to renew your resolve to never go back to that cult for any reason.
