Need clarification on communication with a disfellowshipped person

by jostes 46 Replies latest social family

• 

  CinemaBlend

  So here's a question...
  
  Do the same rules apply to dissassociation as disfellowshipping?
  
  Because they are two differentthings. One is EXPULSION from the congregation, which seems to be what most of these articles reference, the other is leaving of your own accord and choosing.
• 

  Satanus

  Cinemablend

  From what i understand, during the last yr or two, the wt has made them to have the same results - shunning. Dissasociation is easier because they don't need a meeting w the offender.

  S
• 

  CinemaBlend

  But none of the material posted so far indicates this.
• 

  9thWonder

  6 In the Immediate Household: Does this mean that Christians living in the same household with a disfellowshipped family member are to avoid talking to, eating with, and associating with that one as they go about their daily activities? The Watchtower of April 15, 1991, in the footnote on page 22, states: "If in a Christian’s household there is a disfellowshipped relative, that one would still be part of the normal, day-to-day household dealings and activities." Thus, it would be left up to members of the family to decide on the extent to which the disfellowshipped family member would be included when eating or engaging in other household activities. And yet, they would not want to give brothers with whom they associate the impression that everything is the same as it was before the disfellowshipping occurred. [This only applies to a disfellowshipped JW living in the same house.]

  I am constantly amazed at the "changes" that I witness in my own lifetime. When I was a teen (16 to be exact) I was disfellowshipped and lived in my parents home and they would barely look me in the eyes, let alone eating with me. When I graduated from high school, they attended my graduation (I have no idea why) and when the ceremony was over we climbed into the car went to a chinese restaurant to order carry-out, brought our food home and my parents along with my younger brother and sister ate at the dinner table, while my older sister (also disfellowshipped) ate at the kitchen table. No one uttered a word. We finished eating and went to our respective rooms. It was the weirdest thing ever.

  Now, it is o.k. to eat with and engage in other household activities with a disfellowshipped person as long as they live in the same household with you because it is difficult to cut off that type of interaction. Well, my family had no problem AT ALL!
• 

  9thWonder

  6 In the Immediate Household: Does this mean that Christians living in the same household with a disfellowshipped family member are to avoid talking to, eating with, and associating with that one as they go about their daily activities? The Watchtower of April 15, 1991, in the footnote on page 22, states: "If in a Christian’s household there is a disfellowshipped relative, that one would still be part of the normal, day-to-day household dealings and activities." Thus, it would be left up to members of the family to decide on the extent to which the disfellowshipped family member would be included when eating or engaging in other household activities. And yet, they would not want to give brothers with whom they associate the impression that everything is the same as it was before the disfellowshipping occurred. [This only applies to a disfellowshipped JW living in the same house.]

  I am constantly amazed at the "changes" that I witness in my own lifetime. When I was a teen (16 to be exact) I was disfellowshipped and lived in my parents home and they would barely look me in the eyes, let alone eating with me. When I graduated from high school, they attended my graduation (I have no idea why) and when the ceremony was over we climbed into the car went to a chinese restaurant to order carry-out, brought our food home and my parents along with my younger brother and sister ate at the dinner table, while my older sister (also disfellowshipped) ate at the kitchen table. No one uttered a word. We finished eating and went to our respective rooms. It was the weirdest thing ever.

  Now, it is o.k. to eat with and engage in other household activities with a disfellowshipped person as long as they live in the same household with you because it is difficult to cut off that type of interaction. Well, my family had no problem AT ALL!
• 

  Dragonlady76

  Now, it is o.k. to eat with and engage in other household activities with a disfellowshipped person as long as they live in the same household with you because it is difficult to cut off that type of interaction. Well, my family had no problem AT ALL!

  9thwonder,

  I'm sorry you had to deal with this. They should not allow people under 18yoa to get baptised. Shunning children is the real aborration here. They really don't want you to associate with anyone even if they live under your own roof and are children, I think the real reason that part was added in is that, the society has an image to keep up and this truly "un-christian" behavior sanctioned by the WT of shunning family in your own home would look real bad to outsiders. They know the R&F will do the right thing behind closed doors.

  DL76
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  jostes

  So what this means is by the writings, scriptures and teaching of the jws are that encouragement of separation of family. Wouldn't a relationship also have the posibility of bringing that disfellowshipped person back? This is confusing. I can't believe the jws are allowed to judge like this...please help me top understand this. It makes no sense, what happened to letting "jehovah" (jesus) and/or God judge you, not the peers. Aren't you supposed to help support and bring others to see the light in getting in the right spiritual belonging?
• 

  Crumpet

  I can't believe the jws are allowed to judge like this...

  Jostes it is incomprehensible to outsiders but it is very real. I have not been allowed to see or speak to my two younger sisters since I was disfellowshipped for the 3rd time 8 years ago. I have seen my mother once in that time - at my grandad's funeral but she did not speak to me. I was DFed the first time when I was only 16 in part for trying to take my own life because I couldn't bear being a JW. I can't speak to my family except in case of emergency.

  There are many more sad stories like mine of children separated from their parents, grandparents - its possibly one of the most divisive religions on the planet.

  The reason for DFing is a twisted - they say it is loving to ignore your children until they give in and come back to the religion. Its one of the worst forms of blackmail I can think of.
• 

  tijkmo

  just tell her to keep talking until someone tells her not to

  and than when they do..as they will..tell her to look aghast..and say...WHHHAAATTTTT...IM NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO MY OWN MOTHER...SHE WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO BECOME A JW

  and then ignore them...shes a woman what they gonna do...stop her public talk priveleges
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  jostes

  Why doesn't anyone answer me on why jw are able to judge people the way they do? Isn't that un-"christian" like? Being judgemental will not help yourself get in better standing...