Being a JW mother, I really don't understand how these women do it.

Dragonlady76

While reading through some threads, I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had stayed a JW and had kids. I now have a 23 month old son, that's very active, I can not begin to imagine what torture it would be for both of us to attend meetings or go out in field service. I would be expected to keep him still the whole time without toys, snacks, books or any sort of distraction at all, except maybe the My Book of Bible Stories. Of course I would be encouraged to use the rod, as a means of control, and my poor son would have to endure either 2 hours of boring dribble he couldn't even understand or walking out in the hot sun fully dressed, while other kids get to play. So I would really never be able to listen to the meetings and only be aggravated the whole time. And before we even we get to the kingdumb hall, I would have to get the family dressed and ready, and after the meetings I would still have to get the kids ready for bed, then prepare for the next day. I think I would even be to tired for intimacy with my spouse.

Considering all this work for the dub moms, I really don't understand how these women do it. I know I personally could never juggle all that. Anybody want to share their expiriences or thoughts on this?

DL76

luna2

I don't know either, DL! My kids were 6 and 3 when I started studying. I didn't go to a meeting until at least two years later...So they were school-age before they had this torture inflicted on them. We had our bad days, certainly, but they knew that if they were good, we'd might go out to eat or go to a movie after the meeting. If they weren't good, they'd end up going home and cleaning their rooms after lunch. I did let them draw discreetly from time to time.

I always felt so bad for those with little kiddies to try to keep quiet, as well as the kiddies themselves. I do know that some moms brought cheerios and a few soft toys for their toddlers, and they sat in back where such things wouldn't be so noticeable. Some parents were more strict with this than others, of course.

kittyeatzjdubs

i think that's what finally drove my mom over the edge...imagine raising 4 kids practically w/ no support from a husband...plus having to raise them up under the borg....

i'm so glad i'm out.

luv, jojo

mrs rocky2

We let our girls have notepads and pencils and of course, My Book of Bible Stories. We didn't care if they drew pictures or if they wrote stories, as long as they were quiet. They did really well, although they grew up being perfectionists! They have been very hard on themselves through school, including college. Both are Dean's list at their universities. We credit this to the pressure we had to teach them to behave as perfect as possible (this could be an entire topic along). When they were tiny we did some spanking through their double layer cloth diapers - made a lot of noise, probably scared them more than it hurt them physically - we are not proud of this. By the time they were 3-years old they were sitting still through most of those boring meetings. We looked forward to their wiggles and giggles at conventions tho. Gave us an excuse to get up and get our circulation going again! In retrospect, the only reason we looked forward to convention/assemblies was to see people from other congregations we hadn't seen since the last convention/assembly. The afternoon sessions were always a challenge for even the adults. We would get so sleepy! Poor little ones! they should have been tucked into their little beds for a nap and wake to milk and cookies and a trip to the park.

Dragonlady76

..imagine raising 4 kids practically w/ no support from a husband...

That's just it too, the JW women seem to shoulder it all alone, even the ones with dub husbands. I remember the women having to always do all the work, you never saw a husband helping out unless the kids was being really bad, then dad would pitch in by escorting the offending child outside for a sound beating. Not all the men had responsibilities during the meetings, some sat with their families, but the wife still had to do it all. I mean don't these men and women realize it takes 2 people to make and raise a child?

DL76

calamityjane

Yes it was sheer torture and I was close to nervous breakdowns on many a time. I would actually go into melt down mode.

I worked full-time when I was a JW mom. I have three kids. So it consisted of rushing after work to pick the kids up from the babysitter, get home, make supper, clean them up, get the girls hair re-done, tidy up the son and rush off to the meeting, most of the time my husband was feigning that he'd have to work late so it was basically me doing all the work. Needless to say I'd be pissed at him when I got home from the meeting and there he is eating his supper and watching T.V. all relaxed.

Then came the assemblies. The second last year that we attended the DC was my oldest daughter was 12, the second oldest daughter was 3, and my son 1. What a friggin nightmare. My son would usually take 2 to 3 hour naps at home, but at an assembly he'd maybe get a half hour sleep and that would be after taking him out and trying to rock a screaming kid to sleep, finally sitting down and holding him while sleeping (because if you tried to put him on the floor he would wake up), and no sooner sitting down, the damn speaker ends his talk and wham the clapping begins, the little demon ( that's what I thought he was at the time) is now up Because he wouldn't get his alloted nap time, he was totally unbearable, unruly, etc. at the end of the day, when you want to be able to go out for supper somewhere.

The last assembly I ever attended was the best It was the year we were doing our fade and I vowed to my Husband that if my son needed a nap, I would gladly walk a block back to the hotel, put him down for a nap, put my feet up, have a glass of wine and let him nap until he woke up. If I got back to the assembly for the last half hour, so be it, I didn't give a rat's ass at that point as to how much "spiritual ~~food~~ $hit" I had missed, at least I wasn't stressed, my son had his nap, he wasn't cranky, and we could go out to a restaurant for a quiet, relaxed dinner.

cj

upside/down

Dubs are much like many aboriginal peoples.... the women do almost all the work. And you KNOW who gets the credit....

The men are lazy ass bastards... that are high on themselves...

"Keep the women dumb and pregnant... and since they can't kick our asses (usually) we WIN!"- some male Neanderthal

u/d (of the always treats a woman like a lady class)

mapleaf18

I was a single mom of two working a full-time job and often a part-time as well. my son, who was naturally active had a hard time sitting still and i thought i was doing well by "training" him to sit for long periods of time.

all i know is that i don't miss the constant rushing to meetings or conventions. we were always a few minutes late and because of that, we were punished by being paraded up the aisle to sit in the front row over and over again.

mrsjones5

My parents would let us write or draw even color in color books. If we got a little out of hand we could expect a pinch. If we continued we would be taken outside. That didnt happen often.

I have four kids ages 11 and under, the youngest is almost 2, and there is no way I would go to a religious service that didnt have childcare or some sort of youth ministry. I'm not about to put myself or my kids through the torture of sitting through a 2 hour service. No way in hell.

Josie

RichieRich

all the parents look like they are miserable....

But I do get a chuckle from those who put their kids on leashes...

Being a JW mother, I really don't understand how these women do it.

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