Hi, Lot. Your dilemma is you don't want to lose the beautiful thing you have going. But to be true to yourself is to risk losing your great love. People leave themselves in these positions all the time. Fearful of the choice they have to make, they paralyse themselves with indecision. Shoulders hunched, eyes dulled, they are a shadow of their former vitality. They look like trapped animals.
The only way out is to face the fear head on and as kwin said, have an exit strategy. This means more conversations with your wife. Before you make your exit, you must be assured that she will be at your side. Ask her right out what she would do if.... you disassociated yourself.....if you were called in to a JC and were disfellowshipped....if the elders put pressure on her to leave a marriage of "spiritual endangerement". Prepare her mind and heart, and you can be reassured she will be at your side, even if yours becomes a "mixed marriage". I am in a "mixed marriage" by the way. My husband is a JW and I am not. I use this board as a necessary release for my pent-up emotion.
Great loves can survive the storms of life, and even become stronger through them. Don't be afraid to test the foundation of yours. You may take comfort from the story of Jourles, a man who kept undercover for the sake of his wife.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/member/3658/topics/default.ashx