Am I a Sucker?

El Kabong

The other day, my wife ran into a girl who she used to babysit for and is now 19 years old.

I remember when this girl used to come to our house, she was always such a little sweetheart.

She always kind of reminded me of a little doll, just tossed in the corner and forgotten. Hair messed up, clothes wrinkled. So, when she would be dropped off, My Wife would brush her hair, fix her clothes, and doll her up a little. We always knew that there was something "different" about this girl. She does have a lot of Autistic characteristics. Her and my son, who is about her age, always got along well, as my Son is also Autistic.

So, the family moves away from the neighborhood, and other than exchanging xmas cards with each other, and seeing each other occasionally at the supermarket, we kind of lost touch with the family.

So, the other day, My Wife see's this girl walking near one of the shopping centers around our town, and stopped to say hello to her. The girl was so happy to see her, and she was invited for dinner at our house.

It turns out that as soon as this girl turned 18, her parents kicked her out of the house, saying, you are 18 now, you have to live on your own. So, she got an apartment, but could not keep a job. So, when we met her, she was on the verge of being evicted from her apartment. She really was just waiting for the sherriff to come. She even produced the papers to show that she was being evicted. She was worried cause she really does not have anyplace to go. She certainly doesn't want to go and live on the street. She said that she's had to do that before she got the apartment. When she called her Mother to tell her of her situation, her mother just said, "Well, good luck to you". Just as a side note, Her Mother is a Catholic, but not a "regular" Catholic who only go to Mass once or twice a year, but one of the full blown Holy Roller type.

So, knowing that she is about to be evicted, we....(here it comes).....offered for her to stay with us. We have a finished basement, and a spare queen size bed. I know she doesn't have any money, so in exchange for her room and board, she will just have some chores to do around the house, like cut the grass in the backyard, wash dishes, just normal household chores that need to be done anyway.

I guess the biggest fear I have is that we are somehow being conned. We really feel sorry for this girl, and we know she's different. I can't knowingly let her live out in the street. The least I can do is help her get on her feet a little.

I guess I just need a little reassurance....

SixofNine

you're doing a good thing; what about the situation is making you second guess yourself (selves)?

upside/down

Set time lines... and goals... and keep track of progress...

Time will tell...

Have a definite "exit" date and work toward it...that is positive and yet has a conclusion.

She'll carry her own weight... if made to.

u/d (of the Ann Landers class)

El Kabong

Hi Six. Nothing really. It's just my paranoia in the way I guess.
I've heard of people opening their homes to people who seemed to need help, only to have it
blow up in their face. I guess I'm trying to be careful. That's all..

Ellie

I don't think you are being conned or are a sucker, you are doing a kind deed and you should give yourself a pat on the back for that.

Just be careful that she doesn't outstay her welcome though, try to make sure she gets a job and plans on moving out shortly.

Satanus

I don't know. Maybe how long you spend in helping her will tell you. Will this be temporary? Will she get on her feet?

Can i tell you a story about when i was newly on my own? I was a jw at the time. I hung out w other jw kids in a town. I rented a room in the house of a nonjw family. I had practically run out of money, was living on dry bread. The people who owned the house noticed this, and offered me board until i could pay. They also drove me to a place of employment for a little while. Once i got paid, i became self sufficient again, buying gas for my car, and food. I had no help from jws, my 'friends'.

S

willy_think

I know she doesn't have any money, so in exchange for her room and board, she will just have some chores to do around the house, like cut the grass in the backyard, wash dishes, just normal household chores that need to be done anyway

Not a good idea. if she is to work for you in the house, shop, stoor, or office you need to pay at least mininium wage and charge her for the room. slavery is not cool even if you don't see it that way.

i wish i had a free maid, wait, no i don't.

Carol

What ellie and U/D said....I'd just add, lock your bedroom doors when you're out of the house. I don't know what's wrong with some of these parents....they kick their kids out at 18 because the law says they're adults, but they don't bother preparing them for the real world!

El Kabong

Satanus. Thanks for sharing your story.

We have already taken her to the Target to fill out an application. She did get the job, but she is waiting for the results of her Background and Drug Test. (That should tell us alot as well..).

Once she get's a steady income, we plan on having her set up a bank account and teach her how to manage her money. (My wife is going to teach her that???? LOL) So far, she seems to be willing to learn.

MidwichCuckoo

the biggest fear I have is that we are somehow being conned

...are you kidding?. What you've done is CHRISTIAN act - words are cheap, actions speak louder etc. - a very rare thing these days (especially amongst those PROFESSING to be Christian). Well done!

Am I a Sucker?

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