help my mother is brainwashing my 10 yr old

squirlyboo

ps: my daughter says she is very confused now and she believes grandma more because she spent so much time with her when she was younger .

thanks

kgfreeperson

What an awkward position to be in--but one many here have had to deal with. I think you'll find lots of support and advice here.

In the meantime, welcome to the forum!

Limit your daughter's visits to non meeting days/nights. Call your mother's bluff. Tell her that if the attempted indoctrination continues in any form, you will be the one to cut ties. It's hard to do, but she is putting herself in the driver's seat. You have to evict her from that position. As long as she thinks she is in control, and you allow it...it will continue. As the parent, you have the right and responsibility to set boundaries.

Coffee

luna2

I'm sorry, hon, but it looks like you have a decision to make. Either keep the relationship and allow your mom to indoctrinate your daughter into the cult or put your foot down and run the risk that your mother will shun you.

Personally, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask your mother not to discuss Witnoid things with your daughter as you are ultimately responsible for her health and wellbeing...no matter how close grandma is to her...and it's confusing her. It will then be up to your mom as to what course she will follow. If she refuses to have a relationship with her granddaughter that doesn't include Watchtower indoctrination, that is her choice. You will be able to tell your daughter that it was not your decision to "cut ties" but your mother's because she has no respect for anybody who doesn't believe as she does and cannot compromise.

On the other hand, you could allow your mother to have her own way as she tries to pull your kid into the Watchtower...which, if she succeeds, will drive a wedge into your relationship with your child. Your mother is already insinuating that you are on a wrong path because you "follow" your husband and encouranging your daugther keep things from you. You can always hope that as your daughter matures she will find the massive restrictions heaped on Witness kids to be more than she is willing to live with and back away from the religion (and your mother) on her own.

It's a difficult situation. I wish you luck!

Number 6

Sorry I have to agree with Luna here.

I had to press the nuclear button with my mother as she would not give me a categorical assurance that she would not talk to my kids about 'the truth'.

I would rather have my kids angry at me for cutting off contact with their gran, which i can rationalise with them when they are old enough to understand than lose them to the dangerous cult that is the Watchtower. I would make it clear in no uncertain terms that she stops talking to them about it now or you will severley restrict future communication. A kind of reverse shunning if you will.

Craig

sf

Sit your daughter down and explain to her that what she hears at those meetings is not to be taken seriously. Teach her how to filter out what she is hearing and that she is not obligated to believe any of it. That the relationship she may have with God is a totally private matter and that what she hears re: the "Watchtower god jehovah" is designed to change that. She is not too young to absorb this type of conversation.

I did this very thing with my now teenage daughter when she was visiting with my mom back when she was your daughters age. It helped her a great deal.

Also, if you speak to your mom about your wishes and guidelines in visitation and she does not respect that she needs to know the contact will be limited to only visits that do not include meetings and/ or field service.

You are her mother and it's all of your responsibilty to make sure your mom comprehends this fully or she will have to accept that her visits will have many sanctions.

Good luck.

And welcome to the forum.

Sincerely, sKally

GetBusyLiving

Welcome to the forum. You are in a tough situation. I don't have kids but I would seriously do whatever it takes to make sure your mom DOES NOT brainwash your daughter any more. You could maybe only allow her to visit with your daughter when you are there. Take care, good luck!

GBL

sf

One more thing. Back then, my daughter came home from a visit and brought with her the Paradise Lost book. I saw that book and immediately felt sick, knowing that she and my mother had probably already sat down and went throught it, graphic death scenes and all. I was totally pissed off. But didn't let my daughter see how angry I was.

I told her that what she may have seen in that book was not going to ever happen and that it was a fairytale. She accepted that and gave me the book after I asked her to give it to me. I told her that that would be the last time she ever looked at it again and I threw it away, in front of her.

sKally

stopthepain

Do not let your child be brainwashed,under any circumstances!!!IMHO

STP

sf

Elaborating on this:

Also, if you speak to your mom about your wishes and guidelines in visitation and she does not respect that she needs to know the contact will be limited to only visits that do not include meetings and/ or field service.

Also, instruct your daughter that if and when there are other visits that she is to inform you whenever your mom speaks of anything, anything regarding jw religion. Let your mother know this too, that you have sat your daughter down and explained that she is to inform you of what I said above. This way your mom will be fully aware and if she breaks the "arrangements" she will have no to blame but herself.

This religions doctrines and policies DESTROY families and FOSTER hatred.

It is up to you, and you only to make sure this never happens with YOUR family. It is solely your responsibility.