GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCEMENT:
changing its emblem from an eagle
to a condom, to more accurately reflect the
government's political stance:
A condom stands up to inflation, halts
production, destroys the next
generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives
you a sense of
security while you're actually being screwed.
announced the discovery
of
> the heaviest chemical element yet known to
science. The new
element
> has been tentatively named "Governmentium."
Governmentium has one
> neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 11
assistant
> deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312.
>
> These 312 particles are held together by forces
called morons,
which
> are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called
> peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it
is inert.
>
> However, it can be detected as it impedes every
reaction with
which
> it comes into contact. A minute amount of
Governmentium causes one
> reaction to take over four days to complete
when it would normally
> take less than a second.
>
> GOVERNMENTIUM has a normal half-life of four
years; it does not
> decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization
in which a portion
of
> the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places. In
fact,
> Governmentium's mass will actually increase
over time, since each
> reorganization will cause more morons to become
neutrons, forming
> isodopes. This characteristic of
moron-promotion leads some
> scientists to speculate that Governmentium is
formed whenever
morons
> reach a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical
> quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
>
> You will know it when you see it.
>
> When catalyzed with money, Governmentium
becomes Administratium -
an
> element which radiates just as much energy
since it has half as
many
> peons but twice as many morons.
>
> Randy J. Reimer, TMCM (SW), USN, RET
> On historic Route 66 in Missouri
HUMOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Legolas 37 Replies latest jw friends
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Frannie Banannie
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Frannie Banannie
These are the top 17 bumper
stickers that everyone wants to see ...
Jesus loves you ... but everyone else thinks you are an ass . Impotence ... Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings," The proctologist called ... they found your head . Everyone has a photographic memory ... some just don't have any film. Save your breath .. You'll need it to blow up your date . Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted . I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. Guys ... just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one . Some people just don't know how to drive ... I call these people "Everybody But Me," Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends . Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me. If you can read this..I can slam on my brakes and sue you. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself. Hang up and drive!! And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See!!
Welcome to America ... now speak English Wisdom is knowin' when not to let yer alligator mouth overload yer humminbird behind..... -
MidwichCuckoo
Three ducks walk into a bar. "Say, what's your name?" asked the bartender to the first duck. "Huey," he replied. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. "What else could a duck want?" "Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. Then he says to the second duck, "Hi. And what's your name?" "Dewey," came the answer from duck number two. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked. "Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball, too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?" So the bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So,you must be Louie?" No," she said, batting her eyelashes....."I'm Puddles."
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Legolas
These are the top 17 bumper stickers that everyone wants to see ...
Jesus loves you ... but everyone else thinks you are an ass .
Impotence ... Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"
The proctologist called ... they found your head .
Everyone has a photographic memory ... some just don't have any film.
Save your breath .. You'll need it to blow up your date .
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted .
I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Guys ... just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one .
Some people just don't know how to drive ... I call these people "Everybody But Me,"
Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends .
Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
If you can read this..I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.
And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See!!Hang up and drive!!
Welcome to America ... now speak English I love the bumper stickers.....LOL
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sixsixsixtynine
You do grow some lovely men down under.
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luna2
LMAO...uh, well those aren't some of the examples of stunning manhood I was thinking about. Although I do like listening to them now and again.
Frannie....Especially loved the chili cook off joke!
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BrendaCloutier
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" (you're gonna love this) (its a real treat) (a masterpiece) (wait for it) The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone." (You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........) Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!
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Frannie Banannie
LMAO...uh, well those aren't some of the examples of stunning manhood I was thinking about. Although I do like listening to them now and again. Frannie....Especially loved the chili cook off joke!
LOL, Luna2! I re-post these once in a while for the newbies. That chili cook off joke seem to be everyone's fav, and of course, the calendar is always a "shocker"..... Frannie
Wisdom is knowin' when not to let yer alligator mouth overload yer humminbird behind.....