by sonnyboy 27 Replies latest jw friends
You've done way too much for him. Kick him out and make sure he doesn't have a key to get back in.
He's old enough to take care of himself. This will force him to take even a low paying job and to get a low rental unit.
Or if you don't want to throw him out yet. Have you tried buying food on a day to day basis just enough for your consumption that day? He can fend for himself if he wants food, there's none in the cupboard, so he has to go out and get it himself.
cj
That's a tough position. He's your brother and your really love him.
But I'm afraid you may be enabling him. As long he has you - or someone else - to use lean on, he will not become a responsible person.
If it were me... I'd have to implement some tough love. Which would probably include kicking him out. He may be upset with you for a few years even, but at least he may grow up and become responsible.
He's using you. I hate that. He is plenty old enough to take care of himself.
Take care,
Have You Seen My Mother
Sounds like your bro needs to be diagnosed, medicated and counseled by a psychiatrist for starters. THEN you could make a more informed decision on which would be the more appropriate action to take with him. Something's not right with him somehow. JMO
Frannie
i think he should join the military
Pack his bags for him, change the locks, and drive him to a homeless shelter and drop him off.
AND DON'T LET HIM BACK IN!
He is disrepecting you as he did his parents because he can get away with it. You shouldn't put up with that.
Feed the fish to the reptliles...that takes care of part of the pet problem (okay..just kidding there).
I know this is all easier said than done. My mon is in a similiar situation with one of my brothers. She is moving out of state soon to take care of her parents. My brother is supposed to pay rent on the aparment, (she owns the duplex, upstairs is one of my brothers and his family, and downstairs will just be my younger brother). The problem is that 75% of the time my brother doesn't have a job. I think he may have one now..it changes every other month. My mom has been delaying her move because of him and my youngest sister...but since the sister is going to live with me, she only has to worry about him. She told him she is going this fall, come hell or high water...and he better pay up on the rent.
I dunno how it will all work out.
Let us know how you make out...maybe he will shape up if you have another talk with him, but I doubt it.
Sell the house and move far away.
South America comes to mind.
I wish you much luck with your brother, it's tough to have family members who are dysfunctional. Sounds like you may need some counseling on how to overcome being a co-dependent to your alcoholic brother, if he's mentally ill that's a different story--you need to find a doctor who will diagnose him correctly. At any rate, I don't think you are teaching him any real life lessons by putting up with his laziness.
Yeah i with Frog here that you are not doing your brother any favours long term, but yeah i agree it must be tough to throw a family out. But dont let him guilt trip you. I guess weigh up how important this realtionship is to you and perhaps tell your brother to leave to salvage any relationship. As you wouldnt want it to get to the point where all you feel is anger towards him Hope it gets better your a great brother es
