Relationship?? (page 2)

carla

If you are happy with a part-time spouse, hey, go for it. Part-time parent, same thing. A jw will ALWAYS put the organization first. No matter what. You may think, 'oh, no he loves me so, it will be different with us'. Think again. look around at all the people here and on other boards that thought the same thing. Run and don't look back. carla

FlyingHighNow

If you marry him and have children, if they need blood transfusions to preserve life, your good jw fella will allow those children to be damaged or die! Your good jw fella will fight tooth and nail to keep your children from receiving blood. This is not an exaggeration. Don't let romantic feelings cloud your good judgment.

This good jw fella will also expect you to keep your mouth shut if you don't agree with him. He will expect you to let him make all decisions, even if you know they will turn into disasterous blunders. He will berate you as a nagging wife if you to try to "buck" his authority on anything.

I've been there, done that. Get the romantic notions out of your head. Look at this objectively. His charm will not matter so much when your child lies ill with leukemia and needs life saving blood.

banished1

Welcome Penton!
Penton, there are two types of JW guys.

Type One: Wants to rise in the organization and become a ministerial servant or elder.
This will take his attention away from you and your future children.
He will have to change and become a company man and enforce the views of the WT
This will deeply enmesh your marriage into all the ills we cry about here.

Type Two: Avoids the promotions and becomes an inactive witness. He picks and chooses the meetings he will attend. He enjoys his family time and free time, takes vacations, enjoys Saturdays and Sundays home with family etc. He knows how to play all his witness friends and relatives and keep them happy at the same time have some outside friends to keep him sane. This is as close to enjoying normal life a witness can get.

GetBusyLiving

I advise you not to get any romantic delusions of making it work despite all odds. The cult's teachings are embedded in his brain,chances are since he was a little boy. JW's are not normal people, even though they may appear nice and normal on the outside. Many people need therapy to get over the Dubs, and as you can see lot's of people use resources like these internet forums to help them get over the conditioning. And that's only when they CHOOSE to leave!

The fact that you are an Irish Catholic only makes the situation more insane.. and would be morbidly funny if it were not so tragic. RUN AWAY.

GBL

ButtLight

Ask him how serious he is about his religion, and if he would leave it for you, then you will have your answer.

undercover

Welcome, Penton.

I'd love to be consructive as possible about this but unfortunately any relationship with a JW is going to be trouble ahead.

First of all, he shouldn't even be dating you as dating for JWs is only allowed for those seeking to get married and JWs are warned to not marry out of the faith. The plus side of that is that maybe, just maybe, he's not so faithful and can be led away from the JWs. That is not an easy thing to do however. You won't be able to pull him away from them. He'll need to leave on his own free will

If he wants to remain a JW and still marry you, he will, without fail try to convice you that you must become a JW and accept their teachings as truth. Are you willing to give up your church? If your not and he's not, then you major differences right off the bat. If your not so strong in your church and you don't care about religion, be very careful what you get talked into. The JWs are a very high control group. Once in, it's very hard to get out of. Do you want them controlling your life?

If he marrys you despite your not becoming a JW, then he will be looked down upon in his local congregation. They may even shun him to some degree. Would you want to be the cause of that misery? It's not your fault, but to everyone who knew him before, it will be and they will blame you and his family will loathe you and what you did to him. Do you want that? Are you ready to handle that?

Now, all that being said, if you and him just wanna have a fling and it's over in a couple of months or so... go for it. Have fun.

out of the box

I will repeat undercover's post

First of all, he shouldn't even be dating you as dating for JWs is only allowed for those seeking to get married and JWs are warned to not marry out of the faith. The plus side of that is that maybe, just maybe, he's not so faithful and can be led away from the JWs. That is not an easy thing to do however. You won't be able to pull him away from them. He'll need to leave on his own free will

He either is using you to 'escape' and try life outside the borg especially if he was born into it. And if he was born into it, he knows no other life and with you holding his hand it will be easier. He needs a worldly girlfriend to have SEX with because the gals in his cong would end up telling their parents if he did it with them (you know conscience and all). So, you may be used.

If he plans to leave the borg, he needs years to get his life together and figure who HE is! How can he LOVE you when all his emotions, and love have already been pledged?

out of the box

Dragonlady76

The bottom line is this: If you do not convert to the JW religion, your relationship will be a living hell.

This explains it all, nice and short.

Sorry the news can't be better, just know it's not your fault.

DL76

prophecor

Only if he finds his way to this website and get the strait dope on the truth about the troof

I married outside of the BOrg, it was a challenge to say the least, we've held it in, there, nearly 10 years. As in any relationship, there are twist and turns, dips and dives. It only got better, however, after I did the above.

Sassy

RC is stricters that JWs? boy are there going to be problems..

run

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