Being pressured to goto meetings,

by crankytoe 42 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  joelbear

  you think they are on your back now, just get baptized.
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  crankytoe

  hmm, very interesting,
• 

  luna2

  I didn't go to a meeting for about 2 years (yeah, I was a slow study). I just kept telling them that I wasn't ready yet. LOL Who knows, if you keep refusing, maybe your study will get dropped cuz you aren't "making progress". Back when I was coming in they were a lot more patient. Too bad.
• 

  Oroborus21

  Hi Cranky,

  I think I have an approach that might work for you.

  Next time the discussion comes up ask about the future.

  Specifically, ask, "What is next?" that is to say, ask them what are the expectations, what is the normal pattern for the bible study.

  It may take asking it a few different ways to get through to the person studying with you.

  But basically what you should get and what you are trying to get them to admit is something along the following is expected.

  1. that you come to meetings, and eventually start attending regularly

  2. Next, that in time you become an "unbaptized publisher" that is that you are expected to start sharing what you are learning with others

  3. Finally that you become baptized, a dedicated member of Jehovah's Witnesses

  (there is more that is expected afterwards but for your purposes that is all you need to get to.)

  After laying out the expected pattern, all you need to tell the person is that you are not yet ready to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses. That you understand the expectations and while you might choose to attend a meeting here or there, that you cannot commit to going down the road they want to lead you until you are convinced that you want to become a JW.

  You can tell the person that you hope that you aren't wasting their time, that while you recognize that they want you to become a JW eventually that you hope they won't feel that way about you and that you appreciate "learning" and hope that the person will be patient and allow you to "progress in your time."

  I think this approach will be appreciated by the person, will not raise any large suspicions and will allow you to continue studying while at the same time evaluating and exploring the religion and your own spirituality and beliefs.

  -Eduardo

  PS: I suspect that you have not gotten a good review of "disfellowshipping" by your study as this area is underdeveloped in all Bible Studies, but as a potential interested person you should make sure that you have a very good heart to heart discussion with the person studying with you. You need to discuss with them the potential impact upon you and your life in the event that you do follow the "encouragement" to break ties with your non-JW "worldly" association and make JWs virtually your sole support network and what might then occur if for ANY reason you were subsquently disfellowshipped.

  I also highly recommend that you if you want to know beforehand what the social ostracism will be like that you make it a point to find out if there are any DF'd ones at the Kingdom Hall and when you do choose to visit, make it a point to openly go and try and talk to them. The DF'd person's reaction and the reaction of the JWs will be a real eye-opener for you.
• 

  mrsjones5

  Geez crankytoe why did you even start? It's like youre leading them on or something.

  Josie
• 

  Bryan

  Their study with you is not a success until you attend meetings on a regular basis, then baptism.

  If you refuse to attend meetings long enough, they most likely will drop you.

  Bryan

  Have You Seen My Mother
• 

  crankytoe

  Hi msjones, yeah lately I have kindof felt like I'm leading them on, but until recently, I did actually like the once a week study,
• 

  Ingenuous

  until recently, I did actually like the once a week study

  Why not tell them that? "You know, I really used to enjoy this study, but since you guys started hounding me about meetings..."
• 

  crankytoe

  Yeah, think I'm just going to call him and tell him before our next study,
• 

  mustang

  DO NOT COMMIT TO ANYTHING!!!

  Learn to use substitutes for YES:

  Hmmm...

  Uhmmm...

  <shrug, a gesture>

  That's interesting...

  I don't know...

  I'll think about it...

  Mustang