by defd 81 Replies latest jw friends
DO ONE THING DIFFERENT
An uncommonly sensible solution to life's persistent problems
WARNING: This may cause severe disruption to old beliefs and unhelpful patterns. You may have no place to go but toward your heart's and soul's desire. Author. Bill O'Hanlon
There is some great advice above so I won't repeat it but I will make a suggestion
Sometimes when we are under a lot of stress we begin to feel like the problem is so big we don't know where to start.
Break it down into smaller bits. Deal with one piece of the problem. Or you may find to deal with that one big problem we need to change something else first.
Changing one small piece at a time can help us put things in perspective.
Also try thinking about what advice you would give to someone else who came to you with the same problem. We often know what we would tell someone else but have a harder time applying the very same advice to ourselves.
And although I don't know you very well, I want to thank you for trusting us enough to even ask for some suggestions and support. Bravo!!! I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to even post the little bit you did.
Reading a good book always helps me. It puts you in a zone. Hey Lady Lee remember me?! You used to email me advice and articles all the time! Around this time last year. Can't remeber my username back then. Ah yes, Tresbella I think
You need an uncritical ear to use as a sounding board. Most often, we can work through the worst possible stresses by talking it out, then allowing our brain to work on the issue a bit more, then talking it out some more. That process takes as long as it takes.
Sometimes, the ear can also have a helpful mouth. The advice from someone with an uncritical ear may inject a way of looking at an issue that our brains would not choose on its own. This can help us start to develop productive thought patterns we would not have arrived at alone that can make us more able to cope with stresses.
I apologize if our discussions added to your stress. I highly recommend not aggravating your stress levels in other areas if you recognize a weak ability to handle it currently.
Respectfully,
OldSoul
I agree with all of the above
Josie
I am not or have really ever been the kind to tell people my PERSONAL Business, but anyway, what is your advice to deal with this STRESS I am having?
Having been brought up to keep up the front that we are happy, happy, happy, no problems here - I find it difficult to let people know when something is wrong too. But rough times happen to everyone, and that doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you, that you aren't doing enough, or don't have enough faith.
You don't specify whether this is a temporary or long-term situation; something out of your control or something you can influence. Try to get clear in your mind what you can and can't do about it, and what the consequences would be.
My worst recent life event was the loss of a baby at 20 weeks. I would classify this as a long-term/out of my control situation. This is what I wrote to another woman going through a very similar experience. Maybe you can pick some stuff out that applies.......I have put in bold what I think is important.
" I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I remember I was very weepy, I cried a lot. It was only a couple of weeks before Christmas, and our GP visited and signed us both off for two weeks, so we were able to just be together for nearly a month. That was a big help. We actually just slept a lot. I think that was a way of the physical body coping with the emotional grief. We were offered counselling, but we did not feel that it would be helpful. We were OK on our own. I did have a philosophy that comforted me - it is purely personal, but this is how I felt. Before we started trying for a baby, I felt that our lives together were lovely. We had each other, a nice home, loving family. If we had a baby, that would be the icing on the cake, but if it couldn't, then we still had the "cake". I never thought that we would be facing losing a baby, but I tried to keep focusing on what we did still have. I allowed myself to grieve; and I allowed myself to laugh. We still joked at the darkest moments. I bought Grant comedy DVDs for Christmas; we watched them together and laughed. Part of me couldn't believe that my baby had ever been there inside of me, part of me couldn't believe he was gone. I felt really desperate to get pregnant again, but part of me worried that I would never love another baby because it wouldn't be the one we lost. I did get pregnant again rather quickly, I only had one period after the baby was born. Ironically, initially, I felt worse again rather than better. I think this would have happened however long I waited to conceive again. I was touched by how many people reached out to us with cards and notes - and by the number of women who confided their own losses. It sounds like you are a family of faith, and I am sure your community of faith will be a support to you too. Sometimes people said things which were insensitive or hurtful (not intentionally); and a few people ignored what happened completely. Everyone asked Grant how I was - no-one ever wanted to know how he was. Most importantly, eventually, I felt better. I dreaded his due date; it has come and gone and it wasn't that bad. You will never forget [your baby], and it is totally natural to feel miserable, angry, confused or numb now. But you will be happy again."
During times of stress, make time to exercise daily. Do not overeat during this stressful time.
DY
B vitamins
first you have to identify the source of the stress. you may not be able to do this without a doctor or therapist's help. then you have to work on ridding your life of the stress. it has to be an action taken on your part.
do things that tire yourself out. walk, exercise, garden
Thanks Ya'll I just got back from working out and I feel better at the moment. I still have a hard time breathing.
