Why write a letter of disassociation?

by tfsm 34 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Finally-Free

  Is there some legitimate legal reason for this or do people do this because the witness thinking has overtaken their logic?

  "Witness thinking" had nothing to do with my decision to write a letter. I was fed up with their harassment, so I wrote a letter directing them to stay away from me and stay out of my life and away from my property. I advised them that I was prepared to take legal action against them if the harassment continued.

  As an added benefit I don't have to look over my shoulder to see if a JW is watching me light up a smoke. I can answer my phone or my door without wondering if it's an elder checking up on me. I don't have to make excuses to anyone for not going to meetings.

  I don't feel the need to hide from anyone. Hiding is playing their game.

  W
• 

  Es

  im with ozzie on this one, if you write the letter your only lowering yourself to there level and letting them think what they do is ok, but then on the other hand if you dont, you havnt really officially left and so if you get caught doing something they abhor then you will get the call off the elder.

  Its a tough one

  es
• 

  Scully

  And don't forget, part of their game with new converts is the requirement to sever ties, in writing, with any other church they had membership with, supposedly to free themselves from a bond with False Religion™. For some people, it seems like the right (albeit deliciously ironic) thing to do when you realize the JWs are just another False Religion™.
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  rwagoner

  I wrote a letter and would do the same again...

  To me...and this is STRICTLY my grouchy old fart opinion....the "fade" is a cop-out.

  I don't see writing a letter as playing their game, in fact I see it as taking control for my own decisions and actions. I decided when to leave and I made my reasons why very clear. I am now FREE...I dont have to hide my life or my christmas tree or anything else behind tightly closed curtains. I live a very public life...am active politically and could care less who sees me.

  Did it come with a high price...you bet...my jw family, including my parents, shun me. That is their decision and I make it as ucomfortable for them as I can, not because I want to hurt them but because it is my way of trying to force them to acknowledge me and the hypocritical watchtower publishing company. They have to follow the jw rules...not me.

  The people I know who fade always say they can't leave because of their family and friend who are still in and I understand the pain. But why live life sneaking around, hiding and looking over your shoulder for the big JC meeting if you get caught ? Whether it is the jdub's flip-flopping or someone staying when they don't believe or fading and hiding the rest of your life...living a lie is still living a lie.

  You either believe or you don't and if you don't you should get out. You shouldn't expect to get all the fun stuff that goes with being "out" if you don't pay the fare and make it official.

  I know that makes me a jerk to a lot of people and I'm sorry...but the price of being "free" is actually stepping up and being honest.

  No free ride for this a***ole,

  RandyW
• 

  Finally-Free

  And don't forget, part of their game with new converts is the requirement to sever ties, in writing, with any other church they had membership with, supposedly to free themselves from a bond with False Religion™.

  When I joined the JWs they wanted me to do that - to write a letter to the Catholic church to sever ties, but I refused. No one pressed the issue.

  W
• 

  jt stumbler

  I wrote mine because I did'nt want to be two faced. I wanted to let them know that I did not want to be bothered on weekends to be made to feel guilty for not living up to their standards. Guilt free and loving life.
• 

  Legolas

  Well in my case(Myself,husband and daughter) disassociated ourselves in June/05, in part because we didn't want to be bothered by them anymore and part because we wanted people maybe to wonder WHY we left!

  But there are days I wish that we didn't do it so that we could have told more people about the things that are really going on!
• 

  IP_SEC

  I wrote a letter for several reasons.

  1. It was 13 pages and helped me to make sure my points were logical and correct. It was an exercise for my own good.
  2. I wanted the society to realize they were not just losing one to laziness or imorality. I am on to them.
  3. I sent my letter to other people I love. Didnt want them to feel like I was being sneaky or going behind the society's back.
  4. Closure

  If you write a letter, well thats a personal deal, just get out.

  Peace yo!
• 

  bikerchic

  tfsm:

  Why not just leave and not have any further contact with the witnesses?

  That's my thinking on it too.

  I wonder if any other religion asks for a letter of disassociation when you leave it?

  Scully makes a good point though:

  And don't forget, part of their game with new converts is the requirement to sever ties, in writing, with any other church they had membership with, supposedly to free themselves from a bond with False Religion™. For some people, it seems like the right (albeit deliciously ironic) thing to do when you realize the JWs are just another False Religion™.

  As I sit here typing this I have the feeling I would like to put closure on my leave, but then the whole thing of family comes into play. So far my family have kept contact with me because they aren't really sure of my stance (don't ask, don't tell rule) and they let me know that they still have hope that I will return some day.

  I guess if push came to shove I would write one but I like things as they are now. It does make it easier since I moved a thousand miles away from all my JW family and friends. My husbands family are pretty marginal and still speak to us regardless that hubby is DF'ed, but even that is on the sly.
• 

  scotsman

  You don't need to disassociate yourself for them to leave you alone. Just tell them to eff off and they don't harass you. I resigned as an elder, stopped going to meetings two weeks later and accepted 2 sheperding visits before saying enough was enough and that if I wanted help I'd call them.

  No need to hide or turn it into a circus.