Loss or gain?

Deacon

On Sunday, I sat outside the local Kingdom Hall waiting for the meeting to start. Being Disfellowshipped, I was gonna go in late...
20 minutes later.. I went to a Starbucks instead.

I think Im over it....I really do.

its a shame.

Good for you. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to go to meetings and go through such humiliation. I'm glad you opted for Star Bucks.
I believe your on the path to healing now too. Here's a toast for your new life.....

Cheers,
Jurs

jst2laws

Hello Deacon,

I'm sorry, I dont know you. But I noted you are a senior poster, here for a full year! Why were you sitting outside the KH as a disfellowshipped person, waiting to "go in late"? I played the judge and shepherd of folks like you far too long. Now I'm looking for a way out. Why would you want back in? Please, let "the healing" begin. Go every Sunday to "Starbucks instead" and just read your Bible and make some new non-judgemental friends.

Jst2laws

JT

deacon

you will be just fine

merely fill your time with worthwhile things- college, starting a biz, helping out at soup kitchens, get involved in the Hood you line in- now you have the time every sat to do things, sundays to sleep in and read the paper and sip coffee

rebuild your ties with your nonjw family- the list goes on and on

think41self

Hi Deacon

I'm glad the healing process is in full force with you. It cannot be easy to go back to those meetings. I know we are all in different situations when we leave, and though I don't fully know your reasons for wanting or needing to go back...the thought of anyone sitting through that torture is hard to imagine!

So I hope you enjoyed Starbucks. I'm sure the "association" there was better anyway!

Tracy

Deacon

Its no good, Im not over it...
I need Starbucks in my life....

As for the meetings...I did my time as attendee and servant.

they had me when it was believed.

caramel macchiato?

TMS

Deacon:

Its funny how instantaneous our decision-making process can seem sometimes. The little Pentium processor in our cerebellum can be quick and decisive.

I recall leaving between the School and Service Meeting, KNOWING that after 50 years, I wouldn't be back. Obviously, it was a cumulative reaction, that just solidified at that point and time.

But I know that you feel pain at the moment. That does not go away overnight.

Oh, to be a JW version of Billy Crystal! He acknowledges his Jewish upbringing, makes fun of it, knows its still part of him and laughs.

TMS

Mazza

TMS, Was it something they said? What an odd time to leave. But I guess one moment in time is as good as another. Hubby and me kept going to meetings even after we'd stopped believing. It was just a few months but it seemed easier than stopping - "old habits die hard". Meanwhile baby no. 2 arrived. He was a real shocker - took one look at the world and started screaming and didn't stop for a year. I didn't subject myself to too many more meetings after the screamer arrived. I guess we make our decisions in our head and eventually the body follows suit.

As for Deacon - I never had any urge to go back - well apart from to tell them a bunch of lies, just so my family would accept me again - but it seemed too much trouble for too little reward I think we are truly over it when we can go into a KH and feel comfortable. I don't think many of us can lay claim to that. But some can. I remember reading the post of one exjw who took himself and his girl friend on the Bethel tour. He had to duck and dodge people he knew. Had the meal and asked lots of dumb questions etc. He had so much front it was unbelievable.

I hope you are doing well,
Marilyn

Deacon

So....what do I believe now?

I thought of my loved ones lying in the grave, I recall not grieving overly because of the certainty of the ressurection. I would like to still believe in that.

I think of the ones suffering through disease and famine in the world..I would like to believe it will end one day.

I believed that Jehovah really directed us through the FDS. The more Im around anointed ones, the less sure of their sanity I become.

I used to believe that I would never get old...I dont believe that anymore, I see the end of my life as a reality in a few years.

I used to believe it was all temporary....the only thing temporary is us.

It was nice while it lasted, the certainty..the sureness...for now we will NEVER be sure of anything again.

I guess the search for the creator never ceases, it either turns into another sureity..or an absolute absence of belief. Either way is ok as long as the individual is content with the outcome..

I need Starbucks...!

Deacon

6 of nine.

I understand now.

Being a Texan has its advantages.

Loss or gain?

Deacon

jurs

jst2laws

JT

think41self

Deacon

TMS

Mazza

Deacon

Deacon

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