WuzLovesDubs

Joined

Posts by WuzLovesDubs

posted

18
Family is shunning us.
by AgentSmith in
1. jw
2. experiences
mrs smith and i have faded away for many years.

we knew the day will come that we would be questioned directly what our stand is.. this past holidays we were confronted by our jw family.

we told them the truth, we are not jw's anymore and that we go to any church that strikes our fancy.
WuzLovesDubs

That initial "pulling off of the bandaid" hurts like a bitch. The pain subsides then the anger subsides and then you feel sadness and loss, but you see clearer that they are doing this because like us, thats all they ever hear...leaving the Borg is leaving Jehovah. And you are now with Satan because everything is black and white. I think we ALL know that if the Society suddenly said they didnt have to shun us any more...theywouldnt. There would only be a hand full of zealots who would insist on continuing to do so.
We who have lost family to the machine feel for you. And we are glad you are here to talk to folks who understand. When I have told people who were never JWs what my JW family and friends do to us...they DONT BELIEVE IT. Because it is just SO against human nature to allow anything to come between you and your family. They always say things like..."well why dont you compromise?" There is NO compromise.
hugs
7
Test: are you in a cult?
by WuzLovesDubs in
1. jw
2. friends
remember this?

it really made me start to think about what i had gotten myself into.. john d. goldhammer.

are you "under the influence".
WuzLovesDubs

Remember this? It really made me start to think about what I had gotten myself into.
John D. Goldhammer
Self Quiz
Are you "UNDER THE INFLUENCE"
of a destructive group or belief system?
Find out with this
SELF QUIZ:
Does your group discourage doubts, criticism or ideas that differ from their belief system?
Yes____No____
Do you tend to rationalize whatever the group does even when it goes against your sense of right and wrong?
Yes___ No___
Do you often feel exhausted from lengthy group activities, meetings and projects?
Yes___ No___
Does your group have its own unique words, cliches, slogans, chants, prayers and doctrinal phrases that reinforce the group viewpoint?
Yes___ No___
Are doubts viewed as a lack of faith, dedication, commitment or disloyalty?
Yes___ No___
Have "your thoughts" become "the enemy?"
Yes___ No___
Do you often find yourself doing more and more things in the group or because of group peer pressure that you would not have done on your own?
Yes___ No___
Does your group publicly humiliate or criticize members?
Yes___ No___
Does your group have a system of punishments and rewards for behavior?
Yes___ No___
Group paranoia: Does your group obsessively think other groups or people with different beliefs are out to get them?
Yes___ No___
Does the prospect of leaving your group seem scary, difficult?
Yes___ No___
Do you feel the need to leave in secret?
Yes___ No___
Have you been told something bad might happen if you leave?
Yes___ No___
Does your group/belief system think they have/are the only or highest truth, or have the solution for the world’s problems?
Yes___ No___
Are your leader’s ideas or belief system considered beyond reproach or sacred?
Yes___ No___
Do you follow a particular individual or belief system that requires unquestioning obedience and loyalty?
Yes___ No___
) Do members of your group feel specially chosen, superior, exclusive, elite?
Yes___ No___
Do you feel the need to save or convert others to your belief system or ideology?
Yes___ No___
Is your group secretive to outsiders about its inner workings, teachings, activities or beliefs?
Yes___ No___
Does your group equate purity and goodness to being in your group, and impurity or evil to those outside your group?
Yes___ No___
Do you place your group’s mission or agenda above your own goals and ideals? Do group interests come before your own interest
Yes___ No___
Do you find yourself thinking in a we-they, us-versus-them mind set?
Yes___ No___
Does your group/system have a clear outside enemy?
Yes___ No___
Do you see less and less of your family and friends who do not belong to your group or who do not subscribe to your group’s belief system?
Yes___ No___
Does your group use frequent public testimonials, confessions, or sharings that reinforce the group’s mission or agenda?
Yes___ No___
Is communication within, into and out of your group controlled or censored in any manner?
Yes___ No___
Does your group criticize, shun, abandon or demean individuals who leave the group?
Yes___ No___
Do members seek approval or get permission from group leader(s) for personal life choices?
Yes___ No___
Do you feel pressured to attend meetings, events, lectures, seminars? And do you feel guilty if you don’t attend?
Yes___ No___
Do you feel pressured to give a portion of your income to the group, or spend money on courses, books or special projects?
Yes___ No___
Are the group’s financial needs more important than your own economic well-being?
Yes___ No___
Does your group discriminate against anyone regarding race, gender, belief, or sexual orientation?
Yes___ No___

Does your group have a totalitarian structure: a strict, top-down centralized control?
Yes___ No___

Do you wonder if you have been in a destructive group?
Do you...

...have difficulty forming new friendships and intimate relationships?
Yes___ No___

...have low self-esteem, poor self-image or loss of identity?
Yes___ No___

...have difficulty making simple decisions and choices?
Yes___ No___

...often feel depressed, anxious and nervous?
Yes___ No___

...feel isolated, lonely, guilty, cynical?
Yes___ No___

...feel like you are just now growing up, becoming a mature adult?
Yes___ No___

...have short-term memory difficulties?
Yes___ No___

...feel you have nothing to believe in?
Yes___ No___

...often feel anger and rage towards the group?
Yes___ No___

...have nightmares or unpleasant dreams?
Yes___ No___

...find it difficult or impossible to stop mental or other group ritualistic practices?
Yes___ No___

This quiz has no scientifically predetermined number of "yes" answers to indicate a distructive group. However, answering "yes" to any of the above questions means you may need to examine your group and its influence in your life in those areas.

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We wish to be fair to all parties involved, and there is no intent whatsoever to present inaccurate in formation. Therefore, if any group or individual feels that information presented on this site is inaccurate, please contact us. If the information is proven to be inaccurate, it will be either changed or removed upon receipt of verifiable proof being supplied to us. Verifiable proof is defined as a disinterested source independent of your group such as newspaper, encyclopedia, public records and similar sources.

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A group starts with two people. And two individuals can find themselves embroiled in many of the same fundamental destructive group dynamics that large organizations fall prey to.

104

phrases to be suspicious of

by IP_SEC in

jw
friends

whatda ya got to lose?.

what statements make you wonder?.

WuzLovesDubs

The check is in the mail.

104

phrases to be suspicious of

by IP_SEC in

jw
friends

whatda ya got to lose?.

what statements make you wonder?.

WuzLovesDubs

It's not you, it's me.

We need to talk.

Can you come into my office for a minute?

Is that what you are wearing?

Does this make my butt look big?

I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman!

I am NOT a crook!

so where are all the foreclosed upon living?...

by oompa in

jw
friends

i invest in real estate a bit.......with millions losing their homes......where are they living now?.....family?.......apartments are not even near full in atlanta due to overbuilding during the good times........if these people were paying 1900 bucks a month for a crib too big....i would think they would be a good tennent in a small home and could pay the 800 bucks they should have been paying for the right home.......btw.....i am thinking of buying a camp ground....they are slammed full in many areas.....and they pay in advance one full year to keep their spot...i had started noticing that there are are two or three cars at the campers........a sure sign of a home.....not really camping......oompa.

WuzLovesDubs

The house immediately next to me was sold and bought during the HIGH point of pricing and it is now worth about HALF what the poor guy, who is a natural gas installer, bought it for. His business went down the shoots. He had to just walk away from it..after they totally fixed it up soooo cute. He went back to the home he had, which he had been renting out. Now its overgrown. Here in Florida, when you dont keep up property, nature reclaims it very quickly, almost like a sci fi flick. Seriously.

The home diagonally across from me, the guy bought in July 04 for a song. He tried to sell it in 05 during the HIPE period and "held out" for that really high bidder turning away many. And then Wilma hit here, the bottom fell out of the housing and he never had another buyer in three years! He finally walked away last fall...and the house was foreclosed on. It was bought for only $!40,000 this month. Half acre of land, no HOA, four bedroom three bath ranch with a huge work building in the back. This family moved to property they bought up in NC.

So Im thinking people will start buying up all this foreclosed prop. and things will get rolling again.

What are you doing to survive the financial crunch? Or ARE you surviving?

by WuzLovesDubs in

jw
friends

we had to finally bail out from under and file chapter 7. which was a huge relief and i can sleep again.

i worry about my husbands job continuing.

but until then...i am (except for my mortgage and car) credit card free and its wonderful.

WuzLovesDubs

We had to finally bail out from under and file Chapter 7. Which was a huge relief and I can sleep again. For now. I worry about my husbands job continuing. But until then...I am (except for my mortgage and car) credit card free and its wonderful. If you can get rid of those and start living on a cash basis again...which some of us are old enough to remember doing...its very cleansing.

I watch what Im buying now. I watch for sales. I watch for the B1Get1Free sales. I actually USE those coupons theyve been handing to me all these years. Im making my working children pay for more of their own expenses.

And buying in bulk. I probably have saved a THIRD of my grocery and cleaning expenses buying in bulk from Sams Club.

What are you guys doing?

Did you Hate Being Called Brother ( last name ) Or use People's First Name?

by flipper in

jw
friends

a a witness this really bugged me.

i hated being called brother ( last name ) by people i knew for 10, 20, or 30 years !

it was so impersonal i felt.

WuzLovesDubs

When I first started going it was cool...like a ACCEPTANCE into a GROUP thing :) Wow...Im a SISTER now! Kinda thing. But yeah it got annoying as the years went buy. You can say damn near ANYTHING about another person if you say "Brother Lisp, what a WONDERFUL encouraging and uplifting talk you gave today!" "Oh poor Sister Blahblah, she just cant get that extra 100 pounds off can she, bless her heart."

And you always can smile when you say Brother or Sister...no matter how disingenuous it is.

Question about how long Jesus 1000 year reign is?

by jwfacts in

it appears that the watchtower teaches that the 1000 year reign starts after armageddon, which makes sense.

(revelation 20:6) .

.happy and holy is anyone having part in the first resurrection; over these the second death has no authority, but they will be priests of god and of the christ, and will rule as kings with him for the thousand years.

WuzLovesDubs

I thought we were supposed to being brought to perfection during this thousand year reign? LOL! Im getting greyer and fatter and older so Im living proof no PERFECTING is happening around here! :)

Are There ANY Advantages To Being A Jehovah's Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

can you think of anything??

WuzLovesDubs

Being a Witness makes you feel "special". That's good, isn't it?

Why yes it is! And they have very special "short buses" for all you special people :)

Is Having Children a Purely Selfish Act?

by ThomasCovenant in

jw
friends

many years ago a childless witness couple said to me that they didn't want any children.. we discussed some of the pros and cons of having them and then they said that they could only think of selfish reasons for having them.. i found it hard to argue against that.

not selfish in a nasty way of course but for the benefit of the parents nonetheless.. they now have two children.. what are the unselfish reasons for wanting children?.

thomas covenant.

WuzLovesDubs

I am doing all of you a favor by keeping my genes in the pool. Be grateful.

Perhaps you should consider .....keeping your GENES in your JEANS eh? :P