Whats really pathetic is that I was getting red flags and warning bells that would have woken the DEAD only a couple WEEKS after starting to go to the meetings! Sick! It was summer and I was single and lonely all in love with the love bombing and was happy to have somewhere to go three times a week. So on a Sunday late afternoon after the WT study, when the sun was still up at 9pm, I went out to my car after the meeting and I went to put the visor down and into my lap fell an envelope. Inside was a cassette tape and a "transcription" of said tape with rapid fire writing and exclamation points and comments all over it...and my reaction was to pop it into the tape player of my car and listen to it on the way home! It was a recording of someone and their df'd brother talking to three elders on the PHONE about how the elders had wrongly disfellowshipped this individual and had broken about 15 different biblical and judicial committee rules in doing so and lied and on and on...it was extremely emotional for the two brothers, and the elders, I noted, were very cold and matter of fact about the whole thing and had no regrets or apologies. I didnt even know what DFing WAS!
So on Tuesday at the School meeting, I went up to one of those same elders, who was standing dead center at the hall in the aisle , and showed him the tape and said, "I found this in my car and...." the elder POUNCED on me, RIPPED the tape from my hand, GRABBED the TAPE and pulled it right out of the tape case...yard after yard after yard of it...all the while screaming "Dont EVER listen to or READ ANYTHING FROM APOSTATES AGAIN!!!" And he stormed down the aisle slam dunking the destroyed tape into the trash as he went by. I stood there TOTALLY embarrassed TOTALLY scared and everybody was looking at ME like I HAD DONE SOMETHING WRONG! I was like what the FUCK have I gotten myself into???
But then during the "congregation needs" part of the meeting, the brother "explained" that many such tapes and transcripts were distributed to cars in the lots and they encouraged the friends to make sure their vehicles were closed and locked and to throw away immediately any suspect articles they found on their cars NEVER examining them lest they be lured by the Evil Slave Class, and how such ones were disfellowshipped for this exact kind of behavior and this keeps Jehovahs Organization CLEAN....and I bought that. I BOUGHT THAT. And that was the beginning of many many many flags and land mines that I ignored.
I guess I wanted to believe it would save me...I really did.
