my name is joel i was raised as a jw, dunked at tweleve years old df 'ed at 17, 19, & 21 and then back in at 24 my father was an elder, my mother was the perfect model of subjection.
four times a week we would all put on our smiles and go to the kingdom hall the book study and out in service.
dressed impecably, and always well prepaired, all seemed as it should be, but at home things were crazy.. im sure that my experance is much like many of yours.
Hi, welcome!!!!!
Your situation is very similer to mine and alot of others here. It really is sad and it hurts alot. I have suffered alot over this, and i am in the angry stage too. i know one day i will be able to move on, just like you will. Hang in there, were all here for you. I found such comfort and knowledge when i came to the boards here, and my life suddenly had meaning, and i felt so free. So its good to have you here!
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if you want a christmas card from us (therese and nick) pm me with your address and i'll send you one.
cheery panda hugs the forum
*raises hand exciedly* me too, me too!!!! I want have some cards sent to me, and i want to send some out too, lets exchange addresses. I will pm each of you! How cool, thanks guys!!!!!
well im back from my " relaxing trip to the coast "........ and apparently wile i was gone my jw father in law stepped up his plan for total jw world domination .
he has now officially threatened me with dfing .
and informed my wife that by my continued association with a disassociated person i am placing myself in jeopardy of changing my inactive status into a situation that needs to be handled in a judicial manner.
((((((((NWS)))))))))
I am going through similer things right now, and its hard and very upsetting. But when you know in your heart you are doing the right thing, just keep pressing on, it will work out for the best. You will be happy again!!!!
Take Care
i just wanted to introduce myself and share my verbose story.
my name is kyria, i'm 29 years old, originally from the pawtucket/lincoln rhode island congregation in the states.
i found this board yesterday, and am completely blown away by what an amazing place it is.
Welcome Kyria, its good to have you here. I am new at leaving the Org also. Your story is almost exactly like my sister. You both have alot in commen except that she is barley getting divorced and she has not yet discoverd the truth about the "truth". Good luck and it seems that you are making a good life for yourself.
we moved out of my parents house last week.
this was so difficult since im df'd and they were only talking to me since we were living with them.
of course i was prepared for what was coming, the yelling, talking, and especially the guilt trip.
We moved out of my parents house last week. This was so difficult since im df'd and they were only talking to me since we were living with them. Of course i was prepared for what was coming, the yelling, talking, and especially the guilt trip. It went better then i thought it would. My mother took it harder then my father did. I told them about 2 weeks before we actually moved out, and so she moped around and acted like her best friend just died that whole time. It was terrible and stressful, but im happy with my decision. Now i dont have to worry about being forced to go the meetings and worry about being told that i am killing my son in armageddon if i dont go to the meetings. I couldnt tolerate it anymore, they dont understand that i dont beleive as they do anymore, and i know they never will. My older sister was df'd very recently and is getting divorced now, so she is staying with us, i think i am slowly getting her to see that the truth is not the truth as she beleives it to be. Just over the weekend we went to get more of our things from my parents house, my mother of course stared in on me asking if me or my sister were ever going to the meeting again, i told her i didnt know (i didnt think it was the time to get into the fact that im never going back, just yet). She told me she didnt see how i could let me sister stay with me when she is not acting like a good person. I told her that i love my sisters unconditionally and i will always be here for them no matter what, and she responded with "i love all you girls too, but not unconditionally". I didnt say anything to that, it hurt alot, and i feel like she would have been happier if she had just not had us. So thats whats been happening lately, i will post more now that my dsl is on and we are getting settled in our new little apartment by the beach. i love it here and am so happy. I am about to start my new life without the mind control. I feel so weird and guiltly still, especially when i talk about dressing up my 20 month old for halloween. But i know there will be a time when i will get past it. Thanks for reading and for all your comfort, i truly appreciate all your friendships!
i have been reading posts for a while, but everytime i try and post my intro, i dont know what to say, so i suppose i will just write what comes to me.
lets see, i was born and raised in the "truth", i have never known anything else my whole life, so this is weird for me to think differently.
i was df'd about 4 years ago when i met my "worldly" husband, i have tried for the past 2 years to be reinstated, but i guess that i have not tried hard enough, according to the elders (who btw have not been very nice or loving toward me).
Hi everyone, thank you so much for your warm welcomes! I am so glad that i trusted my husband and came on here. He comes in and looks around here occasionally, he doesnt post though, he just thinks if he reads and gets info then he can help me overcome all of this, and gain some sort of understanding of what i am going through. My parents are speaking to me right now only because we live with them, I was df'd still when we moved in, but it was for financial reason, theirs as well as ours. Thats all going to change on thursday though, as we found a beautiful apartment by the beach and are moving out. I already got the yelling and questions about what i should and should not be doing, and how when i leave i also cut our association off. It was so hard to deal with that, but now that its over i can move on and start over. I am more worried about my little boy, he loves my parents so much, they shower him with love and attention, it will be strange for him when we leave. I just asked of them that they do whatever they will to me, just dont do it to my son, dont make him suffer cause of what they decide to do (as in not associate with me ever again). I still want him to have that relationship with them, he needs them. But i have this aching feeling in my heart that they will cut association completly from me, including my son, and that will kill me, and i would never forgive them for that, but i will cross that bridge when i come to it. That is the biggest thing that is happening so far. I guess taking these steps to get out of the org completely is really hitting me hard, i feel like i am betraying god and the orginization, i feel like the worst person in the world, and that maybe it is me that has no faith and not enough understanding, that maybe i need more guidance and direction. Of course when i read over all of that, its all so familier of the brain washing that is told to all of us. I know that i am doing the right thing with leaving, but something is always telling me that im not. Gosh, they sure put such a strong hold on you, dont they! Well, thanks for listening and reading. I will make a new post when we move, and let you know how that goes. Thanks again everyone!
so...as fast company magazine used to ask - what are you working on?.
i have a screenplay i work on occasionally (a romantic comedy) and a nonfiction book about the area in which i grew up.. i also have a wedding in a year, and we are looking for a house to buy.. so what are y'all working on?.
and how can we support you?
Lots of things, but the most important are...
1. moving to a new apartment next week, so packing up
2. continuing to run my own company i started, and be successful.
3. supporting my husband with getting his masters.
4. and most important, spending time with my 19 month old son, and making sure his life will be what he makes it, not what someone else dictates for him.
hi everyone: after discussing this with the attrorney, we decided to conduct a new poll to assure we are able to contact newer members to the board, continue to validate the analysis being prepared, and to seek leads for new cases.
please respond if you have not participated in this poll before.
1. if you know of any jw molesters in any country of the world, please state how many.
I know of 3 molestors, and of 5 victims. All in the state of California, from one congregation. One of them abused 3 girls and went to jail for 5 years, but is now in good standing in the same congregation, with privledges. One of the abused his step daughter and was df'd, but is now in good standing. The other abused his step daughter also and was df'd but is currently in good standing in the congregation. Thats all i know of. If you need any further assistance, please let me know.
i have been reading posts for a while, but everytime i try and post my intro, i dont know what to say, so i suppose i will just write what comes to me.
lets see, i was born and raised in the "truth", i have never known anything else my whole life, so this is weird for me to think differently.
i was df'd about 4 years ago when i met my "worldly" husband, i have tried for the past 2 years to be reinstated, but i guess that i have not tried hard enough, according to the elders (who btw have not been very nice or loving toward me).
I have been reading posts for a while, but everytime i try and post my intro, i dont know what to say, so i suppose i will just write what comes to me.
Lets see, i was born and raised in the "truth", i have never known anything else my whole life, so this is weird for me to think differently. I was df'd about 4 years ago when i met my "worldly" husband, i have tried for the past 2 years to be reinstated, but i guess that i have not tried hard enough, according to the elders (who btw have not been very nice or loving toward me). I have basically given up, and at the same time discovered that this is not really the "truth" and not what i beleive, and certainly not something i am going to teach my 19 month old. To tell you the truth, i am still struggling with this, it feels like my head is spinning, i feel deceived and stupid, especially for taking it for what i have been told and not looking into it myself. The difficulty i am facing now is that my parents and sisters will not talk to me ever again when they find this out, they are really devout JW's. I have such a close relationship with them, that it will hurt so much when i have to cross that bridge. I have lost many friends when i was df'd, and now will lose my family. Its such a difficult thing to deal with. But as my therapist says "they are the one's making the choice". My husband is so supportive of anything i do, and he is also the one (along with my therapist) that opened my eyes to other things, as well as this site and all your expriences and research has helped alot. So i am thankful that you are all here to be a support and somewhere i can come when i dont have anyone else to talk to that understands. I will post alot more now, its just this first step thats the hardest. Thanks for reading!
my wife and i are new to this forum, and really, we're now new to life as well.
or rather, life is new to us, normal life that is.
i don't want to turn this into a novel (at least, not yet).
Hi, im really new here too. I loved reading your post and i can totally relate. Im still in the dizzyness of it all. I was raised is a JW my whole life since i was born, my 'worldly' husband saved me from a life of lies and deceit, and showed me that this in fact was not 'the truth'. My family (who are very strong in the 'truth') have no idea i have made this decision, i dont look forward to confronting them about this, but i know i will have to soon, they will be crushed and im so close to them that its going to kill me. But at the same time, i cant imagine raising my 18 month old son in this when i dont beleive it myself. The post you wrote makes me feel empowered that i did make the right decision and that i am not the only one out there suffering through this, thank you!
