Posts by bsand20

15

Life after JW

by bsand20 in

haven't been on this site since fall of last year.

i was very active in spreading awareness and getting information to help me cope with the fact that my mother cut off complete communication with me as of jan 2014, but i guess too much of a good thing was too much for me to handle.

i ended up getting panic/anxiety attacks.

bsand20

I could try and stay away from sites like this, which I have done for months, but I still get the knocks on my door on Saturdays, the convention hall for the Jw's is literally 3 miles from my home, and then there's my mom, who comes up in conversation with my brother and dad who I try to keep in touch with since they are not JW.

I should point out I've actually been Df'd for 16 years and everything was fine until my mom was pressured to shun me to last year. More than anything, the panic actually stems from rage. Anytime I see a JW preaching, or literature, or a convo comes up about them, my blood boils. It's not that I'm afraid, but angry.

I came back here since no one else can understand what I'm saying. Growing up it was like I was a freak show compared to all the other kids. There were catholics, christians, mormons and jews in my neighborhood, and they all thought I was weird...I mean I was, I was a JW, but still. No one else that hasn't been a JW can relate to me and its hard to get some support from friends who have no idea what that life is like.

15

Life after JW

by bsand20 in

haven't been on this site since fall of last year.

i was very active in spreading awareness and getting information to help me cope with the fact that my mother cut off complete communication with me as of jan 2014, but i guess too much of a good thing was too much for me to handle.

i ended up getting panic/anxiety attacks.

bsand20

Haven't been on this site since fall of last year. I was very active in spreading awareness and getting information to help me cope with the fact that my mother cut off complete communication with me as of Jan 2014, but I guess too much of a good thing was too much for me to handle. I ended up getting panic/anxiety attacks. I went to the hospital 5 times in October, 3 of those times via ambulance as I thought I was having a heart attack. At the advice of drs, I sought help from a therapist, and although it helped control my attacks, it didn't really help with the shunning perspective as it seemed more and more clear the topic of shunning was way over this therapists head. She suggested I find a group that had similar experience like mine that could relate to me and offer solutions as to what helped them. Fast forward to today, I'm 4 months pregnant and have had an attack twice in the last 6 months, but I can't take any prescribed medications. The dr asked me to maybe try and pin point the triggers and so far....looks like it stems from anytime I read or respond to a JW rant about how I"m wrong and they are right. Or it could be an article in the news talking about cults. Anything that is remotely related to JW's gets my blood boiling and I react. I feel really stuck and upset that I always said I was not going to let the Watchtower have an emotional hold on my feelings and space in my head but it seems like they are winning. Anyone else go through this??

30

Hard time coping with shunning

by bsand20 in

jw
friends

it's almost 1am and i can't sleep...again.

i hate to think the organization is still taking my sleep from me 16 years later but i can't help it.

i run a page on social media for ex jw support and advice and i'm usually there helping others but it definitely takes a toll on me when i'm having to argue and disprove jws that troll my page.

bsand20

problemaddict-the page is on Instagram and it's called "exjwsupport"

rebel8-I got better sleep last night....mainly because the advice and support I've gotten here really helped

28

What would you do if JW's lifted the shunning policy?

by bsand20 in

jw
friends

have you guys asked yourself that question?

what if the gb decided that "new light" revealed to them that disfellowshipping was wrong and they would do away with it for current dfd members as well...... .......16 years of my life.

would i welcome my family back?

bsand20

Have you guys asked yourself that question? What if the GB decided that "new light" revealed to them that disfellowshipping was wrong and they would do away with it for current dfd members as well.....

.......16 years of my life. Would I welcome my family back? I think it would feel like the people who have spent 10,20,30 years of their lives in jail for a crime they didn't commit and just got released after new information stated they were wrongfully incarcerated...some are forgiving.

I don't know. All those people that committed suicide because of this practice. All those people who didn't get a chance to say goodbye to their loves ones before they passed. All those relationships forbidden and all those families broken up. So much damage.

30

Hard time coping with shunning

by bsand20 in

jw
friends

it's almost 1am and i can't sleep...again.

i hate to think the organization is still taking my sleep from me 16 years later but i can't help it.

i run a page on social media for ex jw support and advice and i'm usually there helping others but it definitely takes a toll on me when i'm having to argue and disprove jws that troll my page.

bsand20

Honestly Jam, if it wasn't for the shunning, refusal of blood transfusions and holidays, I'd probably still be one, and if not, I'd at least have my family back and would be happy they found some kind of faith in their lives. I honestly would because I have friends who are of all kinds of religions and sexual orientations and I see them as nothing but that....friends. I figure, if we are all going to be judged in the end, we will be judged individually, the judgement on them would have nothing to do with me.

But while some jws feel they have come to know God through the organization, the fact remains, it does more harm than good.

30

Hard time coping with shunning

by bsand20 in

jw
friends

it's almost 1am and i can't sleep...again.

i hate to think the organization is still taking my sleep from me 16 years later but i can't help it.

i run a page on social media for ex jw support and advice and i'm usually there helping others but it definitely takes a toll on me when i'm having to argue and disprove jws that troll my page.

bsand20

You're right Steve2. I had created the support page as a way to reach out to other exjws like I have done here. However, I'm also getting the attention of jws and after much time trying to reason with them I'm left pretty exhausted. I guess in my mind I didn't see anything wrong with it at first because it was kind of like dress rehearsal for if and when I ever had these same questions thrown at me by my mom....not to mention it's made doubting Jws think and reflect.

I knew 2014 would be a climax year for jw bs being that it's their "100 years" of Peter Pan's return to Neverland and banishing Capt Hook or whatever, but this year has certainly revved up their Jw-ness especially towards the disfellowshipped.

30

Hard time coping with shunning

by bsand20 in

jw
friends

it's almost 1am and i can't sleep...again.

i hate to think the organization is still taking my sleep from me 16 years later but i can't help it.

i run a page on social media for ex jw support and advice and i'm usually there helping others but it definitely takes a toll on me when i'm having to argue and disprove jws that troll my page.

bsand20

Thank you so much everyone, really I mean it. It's funny because when I got dfd I was 15 years old. My maternal grandparents, who lived next door and he was an elder, would hold the family barbeques at their house and while everyone was outside, laughing, enjoying good food and good times, I stayed in my room...but even then I was much stronger than I am now.

You guys all said something that really resonated, so I thank everyone.

stormcrow, that's exactly how I'm gonna view this. It's an addiction and my mom can't change if she doesn't want to

jwfacts, thanks for that. And btw your website was one of the first I visited and helped me sort out the real "truth". I follow you on Instagram and I think you follow me too (exjwsupport) so thanks for the daily advice.

cultbgone, I'm putting the oxygen mask on now, lol I try to avoid active JWs but they come to my page (go figure) and tell me how I'm an apostate who's spreading lies and will die in Armageddon...I just can't help but respond and ask them questions that they themselves in the end can't answer.

donny, your story really hit home. It played like a movie in my head. Our stories would make great Lifetime movie scripts..sad reality. Thank you for sharing, I'll check out your page

abiblestudent, I hadn't heard of Steve Hassan til now so I'll def check out his books

thank you again everyone, lots of great advice from every single one. my story can be found here and my IG is exjwsupport if anyone ever wants to check that out.

I wish this wasn't my life, and I go through periods where life is great, and other days it hurts. In the wake of Robin Williams passing, I found this passage being shared and it describes me well, unfortunately....

"Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.”

14

Disfellowshipped for 3 years. One JW still persistent I will return some day...

by TimothyTr in

jw
friends

for some reason i am not able to log in to my account so i have created this one instead.. as many of you may know i am a disfellowshipped gay.

here was my story for those who dont:.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/215019/1/living-as-a-gay-jehovahs-witness-my-story#.u_mrcvlduvk.

bsand20

Oh boy:/ It's been 16 years for me and my mother cut all communication with me just this past January stating she had to until I return. I've been telling her for years I'm never returning and it's like she's not wanting to listen to what I have to say, almost like she thinks I don't know what I really want for myself and one day I'll "listen".

If your sister is still talking to you, I would take advantage of that and have a real converstation, one where you guys can talk honestly, as if you were a newly interested prospective member....why does she feel the only way you will be saved is by being a JW? What certainty is described in the bible about only JWs surviving God's end of days? What about the man on the cross that was next to Jesus who had no time to go door to door, or get baptized and yet Jesus promised he would be with him in paradise? I'm not saying the jws account of "paradise" is accurate, but you get what I'm trying to say here.

Stick to your convictions. They are having assemblies now where they emphasize how you should treat dfd ones and it's constantly being shoved down their throats about how people will die if they don't return or if they decide they want to leave right now out of the org.

30

Hard time coping with shunning

by bsand20 in

jw
friends

it's almost 1am and i can't sleep...again.

i hate to think the organization is still taking my sleep from me 16 years later but i can't help it.

i run a page on social media for ex jw support and advice and i'm usually there helping others but it definitely takes a toll on me when i'm having to argue and disprove jws that troll my page.

bsand20

ANd yet people defend this crazy cult:(

30

Hard time coping with shunning

by bsand20 in

jw
friends

it's almost 1am and i can't sleep...again.

i hate to think the organization is still taking my sleep from me 16 years later but i can't help it.

i run a page on social media for ex jw support and advice and i'm usually there helping others but it definitely takes a toll on me when i'm having to argue and disprove jws that troll my page.

bsand20

Indeed Designer, it feels like they are just voyeurs of my life without having to be part of it....having their cake and eating it too