Posts by MissFit

64

one last step..Is being mentally out the same as being emotionally out?

by MissFit in

jw
friends

we talk here about the importance of being mentally and physically out to be really free.. what about being emotionally free?.

i realized for me, i had to be emotionally awake first.

i had been yo-young back and forth for years.

MissFit

Humbled: I will miss your input. I have enjoyed following your journey and the insights you have shared along the way.

Perhaps leaving emotionally also means becoming an ex-exJW.

Finding a new identity and expanding your horizons.

This site and others like it can become a type of chain holding some to the horrors and anger of the past, feeding on the hate and bitterness that comes from being lied to and abused by people we trusted as JWs.

Some can handle the triggers and reminders of their past and are able to turn it into a positive, using it to help guide others through the journey.

Others are chained to the anger and use it to fan the resentment and keep it alive. They realize in order to recover they need a clean break.

Everyone here is at different stages. I am glad we have a place here that we can lick our wounds and recover.

I hope this place remains a safe haven for diversity.

This site needs different voices and different viewpoints so we can learn from each other.

I hope others will post about their experiences coming out.

What came first mental, physical, or emotional?

Miss Fit

56

Nov 2014 KM - a text message counts as a return visit!

by EndofMysteries in

if you don't know, km's are now online too.

under the heading, "i cannot find him at home again!

" it mentions how a text message or email is to be counted as a return visit.

MissFit

Stats are the most important part of a business. This way they can pad the results.

if you can count texts, letter writing, phone calls, you will have less inactive ones and count more publishers.

Its just a numbers game.

56

Nov 2014 KM - a text message counts as a return visit!

by EndofMysteries in

if you don't know, km's are now online too.

under the heading, "i cannot find him at home again!

" it mentions how a text message or email is to be counted as a return visit.

MissFit

Krejames: now it is a GB approved practice. I know when I was out "in service" the sisters would call their bible studys to see if they were home and to confirm the time. I guess texting was the next logical step.

I went to a conference for my job. One of the speakers talked about the different ways different generations of employees work and how they were influenced by the technology they grew up with.

They compared the 0nes born around 1945/ the Traditionalists, the Baby Boomers ( 60s generation), Gen.x (80s) and the Millennial ( 2000 ).

I think the Society is trying to keep up with the times and include ways to keep the younger generations of JW engaged in the ministry. They probably have the same research as other businesses.

56

Nov 2014 KM - a text message counts as a return visit!

by EndofMysteries in

if you don't know, km's are now online too.

under the heading, "i cannot find him at home again!

" it mentions how a text message or email is to be counted as a return visit.

MissFit

Shirley: Thank you for explaining your reasoning so clearly and eloquently.

I see where you are coming from.

I am sorry about the pain you feel for your family.

I can see how deeply you care about your family. It is so hard to free someone who does not even know they are enslaved.

I have a feeling that maybe your family feels the same way watching you live your life. Most JWs think any one not serving the borg is wasting their life.

The sad part is that we used to think the same way until we learned everything we worked for was a lie.

Some people would rather live a lie.

Your family are so fortunate to have you care so about them. I can understand now how feeling helpless to free your family can cause anger and resentment towards the org.

so vent away...

Miss.Fit

56

Nov 2014 KM - a text message counts as a return visit!

by EndofMysteries in

if you don't know, km's are now online too.

under the heading, "i cannot find him at home again!

" it mentions how a text message or email is to be counted as a return visit.

MissFit

Shirley: what difference does it make to us- *the ones who already know it is a futile endeavor*if the methods are ineffective. We are not doing it. We know lives are not at stake.

yes many go out for show, what choice do they have if they want to keep their positions and support what they think is the "truth"

I respect that alot more than faders or ones who know it is futile still go out and "pretend "to knock ect. They are doing it for show also.

I just think those who refuse to participate should not criticize or be derisive of ones actually out there trying.

The org. Methods might be inefficient, but isn't that a good thing?

edit to add: hopefully sincere ones will wake up when they do realize how ineffective these methods are.

56

Nov 2014 KM - a text message counts as a return visit!

by EndofMysteries in

if you don't know, km's are now online too.

under the heading, "i cannot find him at home again!

" it mentions how a text message or email is to be counted as a return visit.

MissFit

Truth seeker: it already happened. For almost a year I have been getting a text message from an elder every Sunday after a meeting.

The text does not name me personally, just:

"We missed you sister. At today's meeting so&so gave a great talk about blah blah, our study article dealt with the latest new lite."

And then no signature. I didnt know who was sending it. ( I think it might have been a mass text to absentees)

lately I have not gotten any. Maybe he gave up.

56

Nov 2014 KM - a text message counts as a return visit!

by EndofMysteries in

if you don't know, km's are now online too.

under the heading, "i cannot find him at home again!

" it mentions how a text message or email is to be counted as a return visit.

MissFit

I personally do not begrudge the JWs publishers having an easier time in the "ministry". Most believe in what they are doing and want to feel like they are accomplishing something.

I would rather send a text or call someone than spend my gas and wasting 2 hours while a car group makes four calls.

Most of us here have choosesn not to participate in that activity but some here continue to criticize and ridicule those who do. It has been mentioned how ineffective and inefficient the door to door work is , but there is criticism when the org. Tries new methods.

I dont think the rank and file publishers need to be viewed with contempt or ridicule.

They are just doing their jobs the bestb way they know how.

Miss.Fit

*edited to remove broad generalization such as "many, &most"

3

A few people have asked Why dont the parents or children who are the victims go straight to the police.

by smiddy in

i will offer a couple of reasons hopefully many people can contribute more.

their are probably umpteen ( for want of a better word ) reasons why this is so .. lets be bloody honest about this , sex is the be all and end all of society , and has been since adam gazed upon eve.

(if you can beleive that story ).

MissFit

Smiddy, sure guilt and shame is part of it, but dont forget the fear factor and the enforced secrecy that cloaks the relationship between abuser and child.

it is hard to explain but especially if the abuser cultivates a close relationship with the child or even the family, there is an instinct to protect him. The child's loyalty is divided because he is mistaking the abuse for a demostration of love.

Abusers know how to push the right buttons and make it about them. How they are misunderstood or in my foster father's case: "influenced by demons".

I remember part of the discussion I had with my sisters was what would happen to him?

My foster mother was more worried about financial support if he was in jail. Also the stigma of him being known as an abuser.

Us kids were worried about where we would end up.

So what happened was the elders deleted him as an elder and publicly reproved him.

He was allowed to stay in the home, but we . Were given strict instructions not to be alone with him.

we still had to respect him as the head of the house, and take discipline from him. We were not allowed to talk about it to anyone or mention it to him.

Sometimes adults really suck. And being a kid is being treated like a possession. ..no one asked us. We didnt even know we had options.

A culture of secrecy.

59

My Relief

by Smart in

what a massive relief!

thank god i have just found this site the other day!

i don't know where to begin!

MissFit

Smart: Welcome! I missed this thread earlier.

Thanks for sharing your story. Take some time to explore. Use the search button to pull up any subject you are interested in . There are alot of thought provoking threads.

Just take your time. Goodness! I forgot about all of the gotta dos we were expected to keep up with. Take a bit of their advice and simplify.

Take care of your needs and start getting rid of the stuff that is complicating your life.

it is a process but is worth it. The feeling of all that guilt being lifted is priceless.

I hope to get to know you better. I look forward to more of your posts.

Miss.Fit

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

MissFit

3rdgen: thank you for your kind words. You are so right... those who have never been abused have no idea about the psychological hold the abusers hold.