apostrate

Joined

• started 5 topics
• posted 217 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by apostrate

• 
  28

  Top 10 Signs that Jehovah's Witnesses Want to Disfellowship You:

  by OnTheWayOut in

  1. social
  2. humour

  i've posted these years ago and was reminiscing, so i thought i would share the laugh with you again.. top 10 signs that jehovah's witnesses want to disfellowship you:.

  10. there's two guys in suits staying all night outside your home in a four-door sedan.. 9. an elder you spoke to on the phone calls and asks you to repeat what you said the other day, but asks you to speak slowly and clearly.. 8. suddenly, jw friends stop by and ask an awful lot of the same questions.. 7. your laptop computer was moved, left on, or is missing.. 6. you left your car unlocked, it was thoroughly searched by someone but absolutely nothing is missing including your gps which was searched too.. 5. your boss asks if you are in trouble with the law or someone, stating some really polite men were asking about you and left some "tracts.".

  4. someone picked up the cigarette butts around your back porch.. 3. the bartender at your favorite nightspot asks if you have ever before seen the guys in the corner booth that have been ordering "cokes" all evening and pulling out a camera everytime you order a beer.. 2. you receive registered mail and you already served on a jury this year.. 1. your jw mother who finally had accepted that you will never go back starts begging you to either go back to the kingdom hall or move with no forwarding address.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  apostrate

  An elder asks you how long you have been a Jehovah's Witness, not counting today.

  They're all good, but that one really tickled me!!
• 
  20

  Q-tips and Coffee Filters helped me learn TTATT

  by RedPillPopper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well they didn't fully teach me ttatt but helped me on the way.............. first thing i do in the morning after waking up is grinding some nice coffee beans and getting the brew started while i take a hot shower.

  after the shower i like to clean out all the nasty wax out of my ears with a q-tip (or cotton swab for those not familiar with that term).. while cleaning out my ears i would think about how nice it is we have things like q-tips and coffee filters that make life more enjoyable but at the same time realize that somebody somewhere is in a factory making these.. i can't imagine a child saying "when i grow up i want to work in a factory making coffee filters".

  the people who end up really doing that as adults did not set that to be a life goal.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  apostrate

  Captain Obvious,

  Dead Body Burial Duty! That's hilarious!LOL!

  Yeah, I guess there will be that, after all, the animals, germs and bacteria are all going to gorge themselves on so much dead carcasses they will be puking and turn vegetarian! What a mess, survivors will be wishing some of those dead people weren't so dead so they could help them clean up this mess!
• 
  28

  Top 10 Signs that Jehovah's Witnesses Want to Disfellowship You:

  by OnTheWayOut in

  1. social
  2. humour

  i've posted these years ago and was reminiscing, so i thought i would share the laugh with you again.. top 10 signs that jehovah's witnesses want to disfellowship you:.

  10. there's two guys in suits staying all night outside your home in a four-door sedan.. 9. an elder you spoke to on the phone calls and asks you to repeat what you said the other day, but asks you to speak slowly and clearly.. 8. suddenly, jw friends stop by and ask an awful lot of the same questions.. 7. your laptop computer was moved, left on, or is missing.. 6. you left your car unlocked, it was thoroughly searched by someone but absolutely nothing is missing including your gps which was searched too.. 5. your boss asks if you are in trouble with the law or someone, stating some really polite men were asking about you and left some "tracts.".

  4. someone picked up the cigarette butts around your back porch.. 3. the bartender at your favorite nightspot asks if you have ever before seen the guys in the corner booth that have been ordering "cokes" all evening and pulling out a camera everytime you order a beer.. 2. you receive registered mail and you already served on a jury this year.. 1. your jw mother who finally had accepted that you will never go back starts begging you to either go back to the kingdom hall or move with no forwarding address.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  apostrate

  problemaddict,

  That reminds me of one I heard years ago, but it's still a good'un,

  If you're walking down the aisles of Home Depot, but just can't resist the urge to knock on the display doors........You just might be a Jehovahs Witness!!!
• 
  28

  Top 10 Signs that Jehovah's Witnesses Want to Disfellowship You:

  by OnTheWayOut in

  1. social
  2. humour

  i've posted these years ago and was reminiscing, so i thought i would share the laugh with you again.. top 10 signs that jehovah's witnesses want to disfellowship you:.

  10. there's two guys in suits staying all night outside your home in a four-door sedan.. 9. an elder you spoke to on the phone calls and asks you to repeat what you said the other day, but asks you to speak slowly and clearly.. 8. suddenly, jw friends stop by and ask an awful lot of the same questions.. 7. your laptop computer was moved, left on, or is missing.. 6. you left your car unlocked, it was thoroughly searched by someone but absolutely nothing is missing including your gps which was searched too.. 5. your boss asks if you are in trouble with the law or someone, stating some really polite men were asking about you and left some "tracts.".

  4. someone picked up the cigarette butts around your back porch.. 3. the bartender at your favorite nightspot asks if you have ever before seen the guys in the corner booth that have been ordering "cokes" all evening and pulling out a camera everytime you order a beer.. 2. you receive registered mail and you already served on a jury this year.. 1. your jw mother who finally had accepted that you will never go back starts begging you to either go back to the kingdom hall or move with no forwarding address.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  apostrate

  Thanks for posting that! I'm laughing out loud! They are so true and funny at the same time! I also have to laugh when I hear JW's say THE ELDERS ARE NOT SPIRITUAL POLICEMEN. Oh yeah?

  Back in the 70's a young (in her late teens or early twenties) sister was having an affair with a (married, but separated, I believe) Ministerial Servant. Several of the elders sat in their SEDAN most of the night waiting for her to show up at the brothers apartment. She eventually did. The elders gave them a few minutes before abruptly knocking on their front door to catch them by surprise!

  Now, the point is, doesn't that sound like "spiritual policemen" to you? In fact, we know that many are more like spiritual Gestapo Agents! The reason that I know this is because I worked for a couple of the elders. And on the jobsite they openly talked about this and many other things right in front of me. Of course, I was young (about 17 or 18) and I seemed to be invisible to them.

  And, in the end, I did the #1 and moved and left no forwarding address.
• 
  20

  Q-tips and Coffee Filters helped me learn TTATT

  by RedPillPopper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well they didn't fully teach me ttatt but helped me on the way.............. first thing i do in the morning after waking up is grinding some nice coffee beans and getting the brew started while i take a hot shower.

  after the shower i like to clean out all the nasty wax out of my ears with a q-tip (or cotton swab for those not familiar with that term).. while cleaning out my ears i would think about how nice it is we have things like q-tips and coffee filters that make life more enjoyable but at the same time realize that somebody somewhere is in a factory making these.. i can't imagine a child saying "when i grow up i want to work in a factory making coffee filters".

  the people who end up really doing that as adults did not set that to be a life goal.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  apostrate

  OneEyedJoe,

  This may be a little off the subject, but your line about "wouldn't be much of a paradise" immediately brought to my mind something I heard a stand-up comic say back in the 80's.

  He said he was approached by a Jehovah Witness. He told the JW, "No Thanks". The JW said, "What's the matter? Don't you want to live forever?"

  "Not with a bunch of Jehovahs Witnesses I don't".

  I always thought from that moment on, it really wouldn't be much of a paradise if it's filled with nothing but Jehovahs Witnesses.
• 
  65

  Did you AWAKEN from the JWs by yourself?

  by cultBgone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was thinking about how so many posters here on jwn are frustrated and frantic to help their loved ones get away from the brainwashing of jws, and how much advice is given about how to help family members and loved ones.

  i considered my own leaving and that it was internal turmoil based on the teachings getting weirder and child abuse issues, to name just a few, and it made me wonder:.

  did you self-awaken or were you assisted by the gentle proddings of a friend or family member?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  apostrate

  To tell my story would fill a big thick book. But, to narrow it down to a few sentences, it came down to this. At about 25 years old I could no longer bring myself to go out door-to-door telling people that becoming a Jehovahs Witness would bring about true happiness, it was the best way of life. I had been associated with JW's for nearly 15 years at that time, and it did not bring any degree of true happiness in my life, so I could not endorse this way of life to other people. So I stopped attending and eventually moved to another city in another state.

  I had nobody to help me transition into life away from the WT. I did it on my own and I felt like I was the only person in the whole world with my particular problem. I had to figure out what I, alone, believed as opposed to what some organization was telling me to believe. And it took me almost another twenty years to find out that there were tens of thousands, at least, who were going through pretty much the same situation as myself.

  When I read Crisis Of Conscience, all of the pieces of the puzzle fell into place!
• 
  21

  DEMONS: the torment I suffered

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was in my teens i wanted a room of my own, but i lived with my grandparents whose house was very small.. my uncle had been living in a little one room bed-sitter way out in the backyard.

  he married and moved away and i moved in.. it was quite isolated and the ceiling was six feet from the floor.

  unfortunately, the top of my head was four inches higher than that!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  apostrate

  Satan keeps transforming himself into an angel of light!

  Who do we know that claims to be "the light"? And "the light" keeps getting brighter!

  I know how you feel, Terry. I cringe when I think about the record albums and comic books I literally threw away as a kid. Maybe they were junk, but when I see them up for sale on eBay, they are worth a whole lot more than old WT literatiure from that time period!
• 
  21

  DEMONS: the torment I suffered

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was in my teens i wanted a room of my own, but i lived with my grandparents whose house was very small.. my uncle had been living in a little one room bed-sitter way out in the backyard.

  he married and moved away and i moved in.. it was quite isolated and the ceiling was six feet from the floor.

  unfortunately, the top of my head was four inches higher than that!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  apostrate

  I used to attend the same congregation as Diane Wilson who wrote the book,"Awakening Of A Jehovah's Witness". She is a dear person. She wrote in her book the story of how, when she was new to the "TRUTH", she would lay in bed at night and hear strange noises. They would get louder and louder and increase in intensity. This went on night after night. Then one night she cried out, "Jehovah help me!"

  It turns out, the noises she was hearing were mice running back and forth across her bedroom floor! LOL! I have heard soooo many similar stories from JDubs.

  A Circuit Overseer gave a talk in another Hall that I attended back in the 70's. He was a very gruff man. To really appreciate this story, you would just have to hear him tell it. He spoke of a sister who attended meetings but was very lonely, not having a man in her life. Then, in her bed at night, a demon appeared. This demon began telling her how beautiful she was. She responded positively to the demons kind words. This went on night after night until she finely gave in to the demons charms and they actually had sex there in her bed! Oh my!

  I'm still wondering if this demon has a sister who's currently unattached and how do I hook up with her?
• 
  21

  DEMONS: the torment I suffered

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was in my teens i wanted a room of my own, but i lived with my grandparents whose house was very small.. my uncle had been living in a little one room bed-sitter way out in the backyard.

  he married and moved away and i moved in.. it was quite isolated and the ceiling was six feet from the floor.

  unfortunately, the top of my head was four inches higher than that!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  apostrate

  Oh the demons are real! But, they have no more power over you than what you allow them to have. And once you quit believing in them, they have NO power over you.

  In other words, they are a very real CREATION by those who want to maintain CONTROL over YOU!

  And they aren't just a creation by JW's. Other religions, cults, those into the Goth thing, Wiccans, Warlocks, many, many people live their lives in fear of these invisible monsters.
• 
  33

  "The Friends"

  by FeelingFree in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i have only come across this term very recently on jwn and in an "apostate" video i watched yesterday.

  never have i heard anyone refer to jw's as "the friends" here in the uk.

  is it just used in america?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  apostrate

  In the days of Russell and Rutherford it was used commonly. It was also convenient for them, when asked where they got the money for this building or that building, to say, "It was donated by a "friend".