oppostate, that used to be me, I apologize for her.
for me it was because I hated going alone, sitting alone, being in the car alone, having to put on a fake smile,feeling inferior because weren't the 'model family . [ not that i cared deep inside]
then, having to 'answer' to the few random passer bys that ask, 'oh where is hubby , not feeling well?'
then I had to lie and make up excuses,
[ which after a while became
complaints because it was usually overtime that kept him away.]
put up with my mothers foolish comments about it all.
[ the gossip queen of the service group who pretty much ruined our reputations ]
all the while wishing I didn't have to keep up the act of being so spiritual, while wanting to know why people didnt practice what they preached because it seemed like I was the only one who gave a crap about people.
then slowly dying as a person inside watching my kids have no friends, being judged, and my marriage being split in two directions .
shes miserable, because she feels guilty for thinking what she does. its eating her alive inside, and shes afraid to become 'inactive'. and not fit the mold. fed the lie that god will not like her, if shes not in attendance or has one self centered thought.
shes mad, that her life isnt like those fake made up experiences she hears at conventions, or reads about in the year book.
shes not happy, other wise shed come home and say, so n so invited us to dinner, or to a cook out, or so n so got that great job, bla bla bla, and shed ignore you.
isnt the big bible logic that you can 'win' your mate without a word based on your actions? her actions show that you aren't missing a thing, lol why go if your going to be made to feel like crap.
idk, if you make a choice, you either loose family member's, or loose your identity.
but gee, she yearns to be woke up. poor dear.
