probably, but Ill never know how much. Im not terribly depressed about it, we cant change the past. were misfits I guess.
my life right now is as boring and pointless as it ever was. all that has changed for me is personal knowlege.
I think my 2 adult kids are happier though.
it depends on how easy you can make freinds, if you can get out or have a job , to make freinds, and IF you used to have freinds before you were a jw, and can get back with them.
I have none so too bad for me.
apparently no one has time for freindships. it make me mad all the times I went out of my way for people and got nothing more than a verbal thanks. never a freindship developed. what the ?
as for me, being raised in it, with some of my family still in it, its always in my face. my parents are getting older so i have to deal with that crap of age realted problems. I f I want to be rotten, and not want to help them, i can make my positon known to the elders. then my mom would not talk to me. or would she??? hmmm
i have to avoid any conver sations about religion with my mother. shes convinced that Ive read apostate material and watch videos.
yea like 10 years ago i knew this was a bunch of crap. never needed anything other than a bible to prove it wrong.
its much easier obviously for younger ones t oget out, we older ones who are or were married and have kids, we have not a chance to live over our live, were in the time of our life where our parents are getting old and were starting to have our own health issues to deal with, so we feel cheated. we go from taking care of kids to taking care of parents. its not fair. never any time to do what we want and find our own talents and do any personal enrichment. not enough time to start over .
im angry only now because after getting out of the wt guilt grip, as of only last year, I cant get on with my life becasue I am housebound due to something seriously with my foot. [plantar facaitis turned nerve damage. mri tomorow]
so i cant work a job. Im so sick of sitting here in pain not being able to live life.
If I was able to work a job, id be on my own and out of here , probably move someplace different.
when my husband and i were seperated 2 yrs ago, and i had my own apartment i was still sort of going to the k hal. so i was looking for a jw single man, and there wasnt any. a few months later my husband begged me to come back to him.
so being a 'good christain', i forgave my husband , but nothing did change anyway, so, Im still in a marraige that sucks.
but only for the money and insurence. we havent slept together in over a year. its lonely sleeping alone when your only 52.
when i moved back with my husband and went to the k hall, not one elder approached me the whole year i was there, and asked my how i was doing, or where my publisher record was. till this day none of them spoke to me. so i faded away, and no one misses me.
thanks for nothing, jw's huh?
