Posts by sowhatnow

45

can an unhappy married woman vent?

by sowhatnow in

i continue to be saddened by the fact that i am married to such a selfish man.. i want to know if i am the only wife who has no say when it comes to using the house she lives in for activities including other people.. .

let me explain.. yesterday my daugher who is 35 got a new puppy for my grandaughter who is 13. today my daughter and son in law are going to help my uncle at a job, and my granddaughter wanted to spend the day here, my daugher said shed bring her and the puppy over, i laughed and said 'your dad wont have that, ill have to go to your house'.. after all it will 'upset' the 2 cats they will hide all day [like they do anytime someone including my grandchild is in my home] .. i already knew that he would not like it if she brought the puppy over, [weve had dogs so its not like he hates them].

he doesnt care if his grandaughter would have enjoyed playing with the puppy over grandmas house, where she likes to be for a change, and that fact that id like to see what my cats would do when they saw a dog for the first time in thier lives.. maybe id have liked to play with the puppy .. when i said to my husband that my daughter said she wanted tp bring them over he said.

sowhatnow

oh dont worry about it, im not a bit upset or offended over a comment that led me to post that i have to defending myself, Im

im sure it wasnt meant to be read as a verbal assult,

remember, not tone on text, lol,

I know what the poster was going for with that, reasoning. but i figured id clarify so as not to leave unanswered questions.

well as with all of us it take a year to explain all the ins and outs of our messed up past lives. its like a puzzle, when we find out why 'this' was , then 'that' makes sense.

one of you said 'do you know what you want' , i have no idea, it was never about what I wanted but rather what 'jehovah' wanted.

so I ve never thought about it.

what I want is my past 20 years back when I had the energy to do something! and thats not happening. What I want I cant have. what I want Ill most likely never get to experience, namely, meeting someone with the same intrests as me , falling in love with that person, sharing freinds and family, and doing good things for others with that person.

I dont have the evergy and means now, to get involved in world affairs, hug trees , local politics, join the pta, own my own buisness or design cars houses , do photography , publish a magazine , design greeting cards, or all the other interesting things I used to ponder while raising my kids.

I dont think like that because i consider myself already 'blessed' while so many others have nothing. I tend to look at what others dont have and what i do have and then reason, that i complain for no reason!

now im running out of strength, i dont have it in me physically to work a 40 hour work week. thats a problem for me because how does one support themselves with not enough income? I have no useful 'resume'. when my husband left me two yeas ago, i got a job as a cashier, I was a horrible cashier, they kept giving me fewer and fewer hours to make me quit.

selling shoes was ok but too competitive where i was, too many employees and then they wrote me off the scedual, i was too slow .

I cant bend a lot, lower back issues, or lift anything heavy, kids annoy me, so i wont babysit. plus i cant lift them. Im allergic to chemicals soaps and perfumes,so any store that puts scents in thier air blowers to make the store smell nice. I cant be in there for long, so working in a craft store or gift shop is out.

so in my mind, I have no way to save money with the goal of leaving, when i do have a casual housecleaning job its goes in the gas tank so i can go someplace extra.

Im unfortunately dependant on someone taking financial care of me while I help out with all the duties a wife can do when she can.

i dont mind being a wife, what i mind is being treated like a fleshly sister and not a wife. I get no comforting when Im sad, but Im his right arm,

no fun, no sex, no date nite, no freinds ,no common intrests. so im basically single now.

Im not so rotten as to demand that my husband sell the house and give me half. though I can. he has not done anything in the past few years that any judge would consider good enough reason to demand he surrender half his assets.

I always have it in the back of my mind that if I have to leave , I can and will, and Im certain that I will have half his retirement. which will not be too much anyway. my car is in my name though its got almost 100000 miles on it. so how long is that going to hold up? Im sure I could stay on his insurence somehow, dont know how, he told me if were divorced, i get kicked off it. hed also allow me to use the credit card if i needed something like a repair or food or a utility paid. he wouldnt leave me high and dry, but If I left for no reason in his mind, he might give me a fight.

I have had many discussions with him about his drinking, he has tried to stop several times , and then caved in about week 3. he wont go to AAA becasue someone where he works said al lthey do it talk. well my husband is private and rarely talks.

so its all a matter of what circumstance is going to arrise to change the path? and for that I wait.

im off to bed, thanks all for such good advice. will look into some of those sugestions.

40

Here we go again. The next hate letter from our 2nd Son.

by Still Totally ADD in

jw
friends

yes it happen again with our youngest son.

this last monday we got a letter from him telling us how unloving we are because we are no longer jw.

cult and not had kids.

sowhatnow

oh man, how heartwrenching, and how frustrating, I want to shake them.

so, to start the letter, you can of course, like all of us parents take the blame for raising them into a sitaution that you were not aware was highly questionalble, your sorry that thier life was so confusing, and your conscience has been terribly tortured knowng that you led them down a path that you realize was fairly difficult, and you apologize for thier difficulty in coming to terms with the fact that you being older and wiser than they , stand to loose much of your peace of mind, have been emotionally destroyed knowing what you now know, feel guilty for not seeing what was right in front of you, and now,

haveing done much research have come to the wise choice to not allow men to lead you away from God anymore.

and they also have a brain and can use it .

you too, were led to believe something that is not all it seems.

satan sure has gotten his way in breaking the family apart. ask them, what does satan attack? the family unit. ask them what other organization teaches thier members to treat thier families and other people, for that matter, like poision if they do not believe the same 'religion' they do?

It is contrary to human nature to do this. religion breeds hate and prejudice.

my family consists of 4 or 5 different faiths, and we all treat each other the same loving way. if one decides to leave a religion and go to another no one treats them like scum.

how does the family get torn apart in the wt org? by labeling people, name calling, and making man made rules that opress ones conscience.

see the june 22 2000 awake article 'the manipulation of information'

subheading making generalizations, and 'name calling'.

what bible scriptures can you use in your letter? lead them to the bible is all you can do,

ask them why it is that they have disobeyed Gods requirements by not honoring ones parents,

did not jesus condem those who did not respect thier parents? [you as a parent have a right to speak without being interupted]

have they obeyed the advice of forgiving one another? . have they not read mark 11 vs 26? have they? whats it say? how do you ignore that councel?

ask them why is it ok that only a two thirds GB vote passes every teaching and decision , and those one third who dont agree, do not get called apostate?

who is influencig them to go against thier 'nature' nad natural affection, and tell thier own flesh and blood that they are foolish and evil, and have a mental problem? how is that normal? they know its wrong thats why they write they want to talk to you any way they can even if its hatefull.

how is it that they were raised by two loving parents that they know and trust, to now all of the sudden, have no trust in what you have learned??

ask them why they are so fearful of hearing and seeing for themselves what you have learned and they then can make thier own choice as to what to believe based on the simple fact that truth can stand up to test.

satan has blinded them, they refuse to educate themselves out of fear, and cults rule with fear. tell them to stop living in fear and go to jwfacts and read some facts. then get back to you.

then ask them to provide you with the scriptures that say you do not have the right to your own conscience, [romans]

or to your own responsibility to GOD alone.

watching a few watchtower examiner videos has helped me see how many scriptures are misused and also changed in their new bible.

maybe watch a few of those for some good scriptures to use.

as for the grandkids, I think to let them know tha to shamefully teach thier grandchildren to hate thier own flresh and blood is satanic and sick.

and those children will grow up to have prejudices and narcissistic attitudes and a warped view of people especially the elderly.

they have you one thier minds, because they miss you, they are angry because they hate what is happening. but they fear so much.

this fear has paralized them and thier logic. and so, they are sheep without a shepard. tossed about, not knowing what to do.

i hope somehow you can get them to come see you out of repect for you as thier parents, and sit and talk calmly and tacktfully about what is going on.

well anyway thats my two cents, lol and hopefully some good will come out of it all. they really do miss you my heart breaks for them.

my prayers are with you.

45

can an unhappy married woman vent?

by sowhatnow in

i continue to be saddened by the fact that i am married to such a selfish man.. i want to know if i am the only wife who has no say when it comes to using the house she lives in for activities including other people.. .

let me explain.. yesterday my daugher who is 35 got a new puppy for my grandaughter who is 13. today my daughter and son in law are going to help my uncle at a job, and my granddaughter wanted to spend the day here, my daugher said shed bring her and the puppy over, i laughed and said 'your dad wont have that, ill have to go to your house'.. after all it will 'upset' the 2 cats they will hide all day [like they do anytime someone including my grandchild is in my home] .. i already knew that he would not like it if she brought the puppy over, [weve had dogs so its not like he hates them].

he doesnt care if his grandaughter would have enjoyed playing with the puppy over grandmas house, where she likes to be for a change, and that fact that id like to see what my cats would do when they saw a dog for the first time in thier lives.. maybe id have liked to play with the puppy .. when i said to my husband that my daughter said she wanted tp bring them over he said.

sowhatnow

kurtbethel you said,

[You are a tenant who lives in a nice big house, rent free. Your husband is paying all the bills, and rightfully asserts his say over what goes on in his home. This includes not letting your drama prone layabout relatives come and mooch off of him "for just a little while" that turns into years. In all those years of easy life letting someone you don't love pay your bills, you never made a viable plan to change your situation. It looks like you set yourself up for this. How sad]

well, lol, i have to defend myself. I guess you can view it that way, but even with all the negativity in my marraige, Id like to think that at least

my whole marraige has not been a total waste, [just so you know, hes not supported a lazy woman who sat and watched tv and ate all day, I wasnt a size 7 for nothing .lol and he wouldnt have this house if it wasnt for me making him move out of the money pit we were in]

There is a difference between loving someone ,and falling in love and being in love. I dont think we ever were.

we met, i was 18, we dated, we had sex he broke up with me, all in one summer.

i forgot about him, but then 6 months later, i realized I was pregnant.

I believe now, my husband married me because he felt bad,

at the time i thought he really cared. and he may have, but i too think he felt railroaded and also cheated. this isnt what he wanted to waste half his adult life slaing for an organization that snubbed him and his kids and caused him to loose opportunities.

my husband does work very hard , and now long hours. I at least expect from him affection respect, and to omg, stop drinking.

I ve never ever suggested to him that my sister should move in here. I already know hed laugh in my face. lol.

i have always appreciated his hard work, and have felt guity for not working full time outside the home and getting a real paycheck. but hey, I did work hard, Ive certainly held up my end of the relationship by taking care of everything else. I ve ruined my back doing houscleaning. that was a flexible job that allowed me to be home when the kids got home from school.

I have the utmost respect and admiration for all of those mothers and women out there who work two jobs. one paid and the other not! especailly when they get sick! my goodness, I could have never shown up for work when I was having my endometreosis pain monthly, or when i had my surgeries. but many women go to work sick.

this man has meals ready for him every day, home cooked. I cook pretty good he has no complaints. i was a good mom, he knows it, his home is clean, his bills are all paid, we have nearly no debt, and a perfect credit score. i never waste money, and always discuss everything with him. hes got it made.

and i ownmylife, you made me laugh, manipulate? i dont need to manipulate anyone, Im not prevented from doing what i want. and , Im arm candy to this man, when guys at work used to see me with him they thought i was his daughter. my husband looks ten years older than he is.hes overweight, me not so much, maybe a little ,im a size 8 or 10 dont know, but not the 7 i used to be . but im 52 and its harder to loose the weight now.

of course lol, hair dye does wonders.

he knows he could not find a woman like me, thats why in a panic after seeing those homely poor deperate women who replied to his on line dating sites, he contacted me, by email and begged me to forgive him. then a few weeks later after i moved back home,

he showed me the women who replied to his profile and they were what he considered 'ugly and fat'

yea the idiot nearly lost his perfect for him wife.

yet he abuses this privlaige by taking advantage of my loyalty. he knows i was a good JW wife. after is three month good behavior,

hes gone back on all his promises he made to me when we got back together.

what he isnt , is my freind ,or my lover. we have no affection or love. Im simply his companion.

he doesnt include me in his plans. im an after thought. right now hes in the garage probably sleeping on the bench becasue he drinks till he falls asleep.

where would I go if i chose to leave? to live in my daughters basement? and that is why I stay here,

because im at least not living in a basement with 6 cats, or in a govt subsidized apartment next to a young mother with 3 noisy kids.

thanks all for letting me vent by the way.

good night all.

88

Why JW marriage is a huge problem for the organization.

by kneehighmiah in

jw
friends

the difficulty of finding a marriage mate is well known for sisters.

but i would say it's hard for brothers also.

i was talking to a jw last night.

sowhatnow

well, the rumor i heard was that you cant get disfellowshipped for marrying a non jw but only for premarital sex.

so feel free to date anyone you wish, just be pure in heart about it. if your a loving person, and wish to find a lovely wife do so, whose buisness it is to follow you around anyway?

no ones. dont settle, and regret your marraige. many of us have.

57

Couple questions....like if JW's not the right way then what is?

by world in

jw
friends

new member here so don't attack :d here is a couple questions i have been contemplating lately.. .

if jw isn't the right religion, then which one is?

or is it basically believe in god, the bible and you'll be fine?.

sowhatnow

personally i believe that all organized religion is in opposition to God, because men organize it, and its contrary to a spiritual kingdom.

it is a means of controlling the people. and it does a dandy job at that.

it produces a prejudice, right off the bat, and divides man, it is in actuality to me, a device of satans, so instead of leading us to Christ, takes attention away from his Gift to us, and makes everyone argue and divides families. all religion then would be considered apostacy.

the bible says, to man it does not belong to even direct his own step. so what steps has man taken?

steps to form his own belief system, and force or convince others to accept it. ending up in much bloodshed.

the kingdom is IN us when we let is be. and we all can find it, becasue its not too far away.

So, what we do is show love for our fellow man and love God. pretty simple. if you love someone you will not hurt them, period.

the research that i have done, shows the bible to be highly debatable, will remain so for many more decades at least.

18

Today's wt "study" obfuscations

by prologos in

paragraph 9 : " jesus blood validates the new covenant -- makes posiible the forgiveness sins for all time#.-- [and]--.

god could apply the value of jesus' shed blood to adams descendants--*.

--he could** also adopt certain --humans "as sons"--".

sowhatnow

my mom told me to read this article for today. i havent had time to even log on to jw.org been with two, yes two, weiner puppies today.

when she called me and insisted that i read that article i told her that if i did and had scriptures to support My own logical undesrtanding of the subject, would she hear me out?

well, lets wait and see,

45

can an unhappy married woman vent?

by sowhatnow in

i continue to be saddened by the fact that i am married to such a selfish man.. i want to know if i am the only wife who has no say when it comes to using the house she lives in for activities including other people.. .

let me explain.. yesterday my daugher who is 35 got a new puppy for my grandaughter who is 13. today my daughter and son in law are going to help my uncle at a job, and my granddaughter wanted to spend the day here, my daugher said shed bring her and the puppy over, i laughed and said 'your dad wont have that, ill have to go to your house'.. after all it will 'upset' the 2 cats they will hide all day [like they do anytime someone including my grandchild is in my home] .. i already knew that he would not like it if she brought the puppy over, [weve had dogs so its not like he hates them].

he doesnt care if his grandaughter would have enjoyed playing with the puppy over grandmas house, where she likes to be for a change, and that fact that id like to see what my cats would do when they saw a dog for the first time in thier lives.. maybe id have liked to play with the puppy .. when i said to my husband that my daughter said she wanted tp bring them over he said.

sowhatnow

I continue to be saddened by the fact that i am married to such a selfish man.

I want to know if I am the only wife who has no say when it comes to using the house she lives in for activities including other people.

let me explain.

yesterday my daugher who is 35 got a new puppy for my grandaughter who is 13. today my daughter and son in law are going to help my uncle at a job, and my granddaughter wanted to spend the day here, my daugher said shed bring her and the puppy over, I laughed and said 'your dad wont have that, Ill have to go to your house'.

after all it will 'upset' the 2 cats they will hide all day [like they do ANYTIME someone including my Grandchild is in my home] .

I already knew that he would not like it if she brought the puppy over, [weve had dogs so its not like he hates them]

he doesnt care if his grandaughter would have enjoyed playing with the puppy over grandmas house, where she likes to be for a change, and that fact that id like to see what my cats would do when they saw a dog for the first time in thier lives.

maybe id have liked to play with the puppy .

When i said to my husband that my daughter said she wanted tp bring them over he said

'shes not bringing that dog over here to traumatize the cats what does she think' bla bla bla[ cant remember what else.] i said nothing else about it and said well im going to be over there all day then.

so, now I have to go over to my daughers to watch my grandaughter who is ok for a few hours but not all day. so once again as for tha last 35 years of our marraige, he gets his way doesnt care If I would have enjoyed having her and the puppy here, doesnt thin i have a right to have anything enjoyable to me going on in the house.

well , now im going to be out of his hair so he can drink his beer in the house instead of out in the garage. and watch his rated R man movies.

heres why im so damn angry.

all my married life, being a jw, [my husband not one in the beginning, then for a while, now isnt]

my husband had a job making just enough that I did not have to work outside the home. so he figured since HE pays all the bills and does all the work to the house and cars, he has a right to say what he wants about how 'he lives' .

i have no say on who i can have over the house.

well dont I live in the house too? isnt it my house too? dont I get to have any rights to how who i can have in MY house?

no, because its not MY house I dont pay for it.

short short history on that,

see, he was never one to stay home on the weekends when he had a motorcycle. so, every weekend hed take off with his brother or a freind and a case of beer and id not see him till dark. hed come home drunk and id try to avoid him.

[btw in 13 yrs, my grandaughter has never not seen my husband drunk when she spent the weekend]

i having no freinds and no car, spent a lot of time over my mothers house since our two girls are a week apart [yes my sister and my daughter were born 7 days apart thats another whole story] ,

i had no motivation to 'invite' anyone over since my husband was an alchoholic , plus if i told my husband id like to invite someone over for dinner, hed tell me he was doing this or that. he has no friends.

so i never got to entertain guests. we once had a huge dining room set and not once did we have anyone for dinner to use it.

[I never got invited anywhere, I was an unbaptised 'sinner' who married a worldy guy so i was considered bad assocaition.]

he never cared about what me and the kids wanted to do. till this day , makes plans without me, and If he has nothing to do,

then he will ask me if i had anything i wanted to do on such and so day, making suggestions, all the time, of thins he wants to do, but its really that he needs a 'companion' to do it with, like going out to eat or to walk around the home depo store with him, whoo hoo.

I have never been able to open my home up for someone who needed a place to stay. of the once or twice i told my one friend she could stay at my house when she came up to pa to visit, she once had to bring her tiny dog, and he had to say real negative things to me about it and complain. and had he had his way that one time, she would have had to find other accomidations.

I got crap about that for months.

I coulld never have any family stay in my home, or have either of my parents live with us, no matter how sick they will get,

my sister and her three kids, right now is homeless living in my moms cellar, stressing out my elderly parents,

and here i have an entire empty huge cellar with a private bath and heat, and two rooms upstairs that are empty,

and even though its her fault in one way thats shes homeless, its the kids who suffer, i cannot welcome her here untill she gets situated.

he doesnt want his life distrupted. sure i understand that, its a lot, but its my sister and i am not allowed to help her becasue its HIS house.

[and no he wouldnt help his own family either]

he doesnt like people. no one.

he wasnt going to invite anyone over for the thanksgiving dinner he wanted me to cook. but i got my sister and my daiugter to come so i had help and someone to talk to!

he keeps me from doing nice things for people and im ccetain that people in the past think I am not freindly and sociable.

he wouldnt go anywhere if he was invited unless it involved beer football, no onther people, or guns. he will make exscuses.

its him not me. hes a hermit, and im the socialite that gets to go no where and cant do anyting for anyone else.

so why are we married? I m stuck. im 52, my life is over. i feel cheated. I ve done nothing I wanted to do. now i havent the money or energy or means to fulfill my desires.

i cant support myself anyway, rent is too high and minimun wage wont pay the rent, [that why my sister is homeless se lost her section 8 status].

i have all my needs met, and i have good health insurence if i need it.

but i sleep alone and am lonely.

We are married simply for the reason of paying for our mistakes as young people. and me for geting pregnant.

[I do not and have never been IN love with this man]

I get no pleasure out of this life, and I hate this house.

Im simply a live in housekeeper.

well im done venting got to get over to my daughters house now. and see that new mini dachshund puppy.

thanks

40

After all, JWs were RIGHT!

by abiather in

1) science and technology appeared as a savior to mankind, yet the overall result points to the opposite direction.. http://aeon.co/magazine/science/why-has-human-progress-ground-to-a-halt/.

2) john kerry warns of catastrophe if climate change is not tackled.

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/environment/article4295230.ece (times, saturday 13, 2014).

sowhatnow

ablather what is the core teaching your refering to? there seems to be so many.

why has human progress .... article was interesting. however, i feel that at some point we will have a repeat of that , as we have in the past, every so many decades or 100 yrs or so mankind has a boost in understanding. its how we learn and evolve.

im not getting the connection with these two references and the scripture, as proving anyone right about anything.

am i the only one clueless about the purpose of the post?

please tell me im not, please, i dont want to be the dunce.

2

how many are there?

by sowhatnow in

scriptures that actually have the subject of prayer.. other than the our father prayer, when at any time in the bible was a person publicly praying?.

where does it say we must kneel, or pray at meal times, or pray for other people in the presense of others?.

where does it say public prayer was done?.

sowhatnow

whats interesting is 1st peter 4 , vs 7 starts out by saying the end of all things is near.

so if it was near to them, how on earth is it near to us!

thanks for those references, i noticed that they all are iwritten after jesus death, im curious to know of some that were spoken of by jesus himslef. ill have ot do some reading later.

the reason i want scripts for this subject is that my mom will not eat without praying, and makes my sisters kids who are not jws but who live temporarily in her home, come from whatever they are doing to sit and listen to her pray for dinner.

this annoys my sister [also a non jw but raised as one], to no end, they are her children if they wish to pray they need to have the right to do it on thier own. i told my mom there is no commandment that we have to pray every time we eat or every day even for that matter.

she disagrees but will not produce me the scripture that says such a thing. lol

2

how many are there?

by sowhatnow in

scriptures that actually have the subject of prayer.. other than the our father prayer, when at any time in the bible was a person publicly praying?.

where does it say we must kneel, or pray at meal times, or pray for other people in the presense of others?.

where does it say public prayer was done?.

sowhatnow

scriptures that actually have the subject of prayer.

other than the our father prayer, when at any time in the bible was a person publicly praying?

where does it say we must kneel, or pray at meal times, or pray for other people in the presense of others?

where does it say public prayer was done?

i see scriptures where jessus always went away to pray, he advised his listeners to go into thier room and close the door and pray in secret

and do not be praying to be observed by others

so? how is it that people will pray to a large congregation/convention/ mealtimes/ and think its biblical?

there is not many scriptures talking about it are there?