Having to choose between 1. family love and living a lie in captivity or 2. freedom seems like a hard choice- at first. A cruel choice.
After 25 years in and now 6 month out, I can tell you, in all honesty:
I wish I had the courage to disassociate immediately and without hesitation at my first doubts and early discovery of the cult and TTATT.
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I imagine it to be a bit like skydiving. That first leap out of an airplane must be chest-pounding, anxiety overload... until you survive.