Posts by FeelingFree

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

FeelingFree

MissFit - What a terrible thing to have to go through. It must of been tough as you didn't know how it was going to effect your lives but I'm sure you know that you really made the right decision in telling someone though even if the out come was out of your control. I hope that you managed to save your youngest sister by telling your foster mother?

I have realised that yes it is viewed as a sin and not a crime, which I sort of get to a point but they are supposed to be in subjection to the superior authorities and the authorities of this world view child abuse as a crime. I'm sure if someone in the congregation had murdered someone it wouldn't be covered up even though this is also a sin in terms of the bible. First and foremost (I'm hoping!) they would call the police as it is for them to deal with the criminal and the justice system not three men in a back room. To me there is no consistancy and bits a pieces of the bible picked to suit their own agenda. This applies to everything within that organisation.

Jerimiah - Thank you for your experience, what an extremely unfair position for you to be put in, which is another reason their policies suck. I'm sure the legal dept don't think twice about the people involved and have a peaceful nights sleep knowing that the buck has been passed to elders such as yourself.

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

FeelingFree

Cognac - if only more people withing the org were like her!

Vidiot - You were a very wise 10 year old :) glad your dad changed his mind.

26

Service meeting week of November 3rd! How to indoctrinate children

by stuckinarut2 in

oh yep...here we go..... this weeks service meeting has a part designed to show how children should be indoctrinated and manipulated into going "out in service".

the part first asks for the disturbingly corny cartoon clip to be played on the big screen at the halls: "lets go out in service!".

(if you haven't watched it yet, please go to jw.org and watch it....you simply won't beleive it until you see it!).

FeelingFree

Urgh that is so distasteful. Unfortunately I used to let my child watch those awful brainwashing cartoons and she loved them :/ so know the one you refer to.

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

FeelingFree

The level of mind control they use, its a wonder anyone manages to break free from it! I never realised how bad it was until I left as I have always been exposed to a lot of negativity regarding the org by other family members, I could see what they were saying but still thought I wanted to part of it all. I was much more of a free thinker than most and it never went down very well lol.

Im finding all these abuse cases and cover ups very upsetting. Everytime I start to question my decision I just need to think about this subject and know that I cannot be part of something so disgusting.

6

For the weaker moment

by Gorbatchov in

jw
friends

i think we all have some time a weaker moment and miss the times we were regular witness.. to admit, i have some of these moments a year.. for these moments i have this point "i can't accect being part of.

a religious organisation that structural apeals child abuse cases".. then i'm finished with the moment.. the path is narrow.. g.. .

.

FeelingFree

22

Since The Bible Sponsors Disciplining Your Children Do JWs Say It Is OK Spank A Child?

by minimus in

jw
friends

is it ok to spank your kids?

is it ok to discipline them using any force?.

.

FeelingFree

These days I'm pretty sure it's up to the individual. There were a few people in our hall who became parents around about the same time as us and I remember having a discussion with one of the grandparents (who was an elder) a few months ago on this subject. I was saying I didn't feel that there was ever a need to use smacking when disciplining. I said I felt that it was wrong and there were plenty of other things you can do to correct your child. If you don't want your child to hit then you wouldn't tell them off by smacking them as it's a total contradicition and would be confusing to the child. He responded by saying all children need a good smack or they will turn out spoilt, it never does them any harm! This elder's son (who has just been made up as an elder himself) used to take his baby daughter out of the hall when she was crying but would put his hand over her mouth so she couldn't scream! I also saw him cuff his young son around the head a number of times :/

Another time I was talking to my friend who has a little one a couple weeks younger than mine about the fact that I had smacked my child whilst angry and felt really bad about it. She said her little one was always naughty and she was sure she didn't smack him often enough! True story.

Using the rod was sadly very much in evidence at our hall!

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

FeelingFree

Magwitch - Urgh that story turns my stomach, what a horrible man! That mother totally did the right thing. Yep if only more were like her.

Eyeuse - Screw the org!

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

FeelingFree

Exactly their stupid policies have actually made them look so, so bad. There must be thousands of other victims all over the world who have held their tounge until now and having seen all these other abuse cases coming out feel its time for the WBTS to get their justice.

I agree all these cases need national attention. JW's need to see the facts and where their hard earned cash is being spent. Not on counstruction and maintenance of KH's or furthering the preaching work nope... it's going on child sexual abuse court case settlements.

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

FeelingFree

Sir82 - "Evidently you were never a JW" Hah! I have come to the same conclusion myself quite recently, I think I knew for a long time but it distresses me to think too much about it and why I never did anything about it until now!

Legacy- I wasn't really sure whether to put this post up as I too didn't want to offend but thought it was a necessary thing to address. I really feel for any parent in that situation and I'm sure they all thought what they were doing was for the best. I expect many wish they acted differently now.

However you would think protection of your children would be paramount to any parent, even if it means going against all you have been taught or even believe. I would risk anything, turn my life upside down to make sure my child was safe.

The way the Borg threaten, control and prevent independant thought and action is disgusting.

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

FeelingFree

I hope I don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, I am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?

As a parent myself I know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when I was still an active JW as well as now) I would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as I found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder. Maybe after we had reported it but definitely NEVER as the first port of call. My thoughts would be that I would need to keep my child protected and safe no matter what the consequence and they would not be safe in that environment any longer as the trust had already been breeched. I would do everything in my power to keep my child away from that disgusting individual and never allow a meeting between the two.

I just don't understand what is going through the minds of the parents who do this and surely they need to bear some responsibility when a matter like that doesn't get reported to the police? I don't know maybe I'm missing something? Maybe I was always too independent in my thinking? In any case just don't get it.