((((hi)))) and a big hug for you, i'm in a similar place, a little further down the line, with children and other things thrown into the mix.
Some people have confided in me that they're happy staying to bring up the children, not wanting to rock the boat because of fear of the unknown or fear of family reactions.I've tried that, but over the past two years i've found it emotionally and physically draining and impossibly stressfull even though i've been doing it for the 'right' reasons - the children.I feel guilty that my husband would'nt be able to live with the people he loves most and that makes me feel like a bad person and regardless of what he's done I struggle against changing everyone's lives, forgetting that i'm allowed to be happy too.As a parent your sole purpose is to make everything ok; and it's tough to feel your'e going to cause your children pain.
As for your families ; perhaps they'd like to see you happy?
Life seems in limbo because the more pro's and con's you throw into the mix the more complicated the decision becomes.
The simple question should be-will I be happier if I stay or if I go?
I think we know the answer but we have to give ourselves permission to bail out on a marriage.
Have you tried couple's councelling? It might help you get some clarity?
I've been reading a book i'd highly recommend, it's called ' Too good to leave, too bad to stay.' by Mira Kirshenbaum (Michael Joseph) it's on Amazon. It's been really helpful and I can't praise it enough.The book asks you thought provoking questions that moves you through the book, taking you forwards to a decision about whether you'd be happiest if you leave, or if you stay.
Good luck and what ever happens we're here for you xxxxxxxx
oops-edited to add-I have been divorced before-hubby left me for best friend, then moved her into the house-so I left; then he wanted be back......that was incredible stressfull at the time; but I can honestly say; that even though I let him keep everything except me and just walked......I had no where to live, no furniture etc.....the most stressfull period was just befpre leaving; as soon as I had gone, allowing for the obvious changeof circumstances and feelings of loss, I felt wonderful and never once doubted i'd made the right decision even though he gave me suicide threats.
Sometimes we have to trust in what we already know and if you don't have children then the decision really is only about you and what you want, the other person's reaction to your decision is'nt your problem.
