I know i'm blunt sometimes-but glad it made you laugh
Sorry to hear you were feeling bad Celty; I know after a difficult beginning in life that it's very hard, if not impossible to feel 'complete, or whole or whatever it is we think everyone else feels.
I'm on the waiting list for a councellor as the last few months have had me feeling like I need some help.I'm hopefull that a fresh, outside eye will make my past and my future clearer to me.
Sometimes its good to gather together photographs of when you were younger and look at them carefully-trying to remember what you felt like inside when they were taken. It sounds a bit new agey... but works for me... you can start to 'talk' to that little sad, scared, confused child and look after them...telling them they're special and worth something and loveable...sometimes this starts to make you feel better about yourself, helping you to realise that you needed to hear this from your parents-but they failed you.
I think the reason you feel like you do sometimes could be because you're like me and don't feel you're worth loving.. After all, if our emotional development effectively stopped when we were small-then we still are, essentially, that small,sad, confused child and think we're unlovable because we did'nt experience that unconditional love we should have been surrounded with.Then we react like a child in situations too, reasoning in a destructive, self depreciating way.
The difference I find between friends that had happy, loving childhoods and those that did'nt is that the friends from happy childhoods don't blame themselves when things go wrong- or feel self pity; they have more balanced coping skills and are more positive about the future.Sometimes we can go in circles thinking the problem is us...when we might just need to get some clarity and have someone tell us why we react as we do.
I hope you're feeling better now and you're having a good day.
