Dearest Mark (Crossroads)... may you have peace!
I am a 'she', my name is Shelby (most folks here already know that), I am 41 years old, I have met a few of the folks here personally, I am not the only one who 'hears' by any means, and I am NOT 'connected' to the imposters in Brooklyn (indeed, they wouldn't have me and their local henchmen intimated that I was too young and too Black to be 'anointed', and said that I just read my Bible too much. I am speaking truth to you. Although, Barber DID try to say at first that I was 'dancin' with demons,' but eventually it was he that was silenced... and exposed. Part of me feels sorry for him; part of me doesn't.)
Now, where were we. Yes, you wanted to know:
"... how do you get to this peaceful place that gives you all this insight that none of us others seem to have..."
First, let me restate that there ARE others that have it. Some post here and other forums; some have other 'territories', if I can use that terminology (okay, okay, I'm SORRY... but I thought it would help you understand...). Some, while putting FAITH in him, though, will not PROFESS him, because of their 'fear of the Pharisees'.
My personal 'story' is that when I received the promised holy spirit, one of the 'gifts' of that spirit was 'discernment of inspired utterances'... or hearing spirits. I had heard them for most of my life (and believe it or not, you have, too), but I had been TAUGHT they what I heard was everything BUT my Lord... including myself. Rather than being taught to LISTEN to the voice, I was taught... by religion, and pretty much mankind in general... NOT to listen. And so, I didn't, not really. I mean, I heard... but I did not always listen and certainly did not 'attribute' the voice to anything spiritual.
At least, not until I ASKED... and received what I asked for. See, after many, many years of being in the 'org', and passing the bread and wine by (and living with a BAD conscience for doing so, almost a self-loathing), I decided that I could not do that anymore, and so, one year, I ate... and drank... in faith. I knew I was SUPPOSED to, no matter what OTHERS thought or said. And they SAID... a lot. Oh, well.
Shortly after that, I started having other BAD conscience experiences in that I felt like, "Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah... all we ever talk about is Jehovah. Where really is Jesus in all of this?" I mean, we DID bring him up from time to time, but for some reason I felt embarrassed that we didn't do it more often. I felt... ashamed and 'wrong', I guess.
A few weeks after that, I heard two distinct voices and REALLY though demons were playing games with me. So, I ignored them. OF COURSE! But, they persisted, and after awhile I heard one of the voices say... and had this OVERWHELMING URGE... "why not answer?" This went on for a bit, them speaking, me ignoring, one saying "why not answer?", until I finally gave in and decided to 'go for it', and said, "Alright, who is this please?"
One voice said, "I am Jehovah" (I have since learned why that name was used and what the TRUE name of my Father is), and the other said, "I am the Christ." So, okay, demons playing tricks. I decided I wasn't playing. But, they persisted, and I ask again who it was and got the same answer. I decided to go a little further and said, "Okay, IF your Jehovah, can I talk to you?" and immediately one 'presence' disappeared, just like that, but the other one said, "No one comes to the Father except through me." And, of course, I then asked, "And so, WHO are YOU?" And 'he' said, "I am the Christ."
I asked him how I would know that he was not a demon (remember, we had been TRAINED to 'fear' demons... although NO ONE in the Bible feared them... things that make you go 'hmmmmm'...), and he said that while the Adversary could transform himself into an ANGEL of Light, he could NOT transform himself into the LIGHT (John 8:12), nor could he imitate the Father. And so, a conversation ensued. I then asked him WHY he was there, speaking to ME. And he said that I had ASKED for him... and the Father had SENT him.
I told him that I had NOT asked for him, and he immediately took me back to a point about three weeks earlier, when I was sitting in the Kingdom Hall, saying a prayer to 'Jehovah', telling Him that I was bothered that I didn't know Jesus more (I mean, the man had DIED for me, right? And was my 'leader' and 'mediator'. For some reason, I HAD to know him... or at least know OF him... to a greater extent.) I could see myself and the others, just as we were, and I heard myself say, "Father, if Jesus IS my Lord, please let me KNOW him."
And he said that THAT was why he was there, that I had ASKED for him, and in response, the Father had SENT him. I asked him if I could ask him questions (are you kidding, wouldn't YOU?), and he said, "You can ask me ANYTHING..." And the rest is history.
And YOU... and all others... can do the same thing, ASK... and RECEIVE. There are only three (3) (sorry, if you caught this before the edit - I DID say I was a 'dingbat' and I guess not being able to count to three proves that, eh?) requirements:
1. That you ask IN FAITH... NOT DOUBTING... KNOWING that he WILL answer you;
2. That you ask OUT OF A CLEAN HEART, because you want to KNOW him and NOT because you want to be special or have something proven to you and allow you to prove to others; your 'motive' MUST be 'pure';
3. And that you LISTEN to what you hear... put FAITH in it... and OBEY if it is a directive. What KIND of 'directive'? Well, he MAY say to you, "Crossroads (Mark), you know, you're not really all that 'clean' inside. You do this and think that and have done this." Do you immediately STOP listening? Or do you say, "Please forgive me, help me fix it, make in me a clean and steadfast heart... AND TELL ME MORE SO THAT I CAN BE 'REFINED'...?
He may tell you things to say to others, but I PROMISE you, he will start with YOU. YOU... must 'come into the light' to have YOUR 'works reproved'. For it is only then that you are clean enough to 'carry the utensils of JAH.'
When I asked my Lord why ME, why he had come to and spoken to ME, he said that it was because I had faith... 'the size of a mustard seed', which initially REALLY saddened me. Because I thought, if I have only that much faith... where in the WORLD is the faith of everyone else? Because I really wasn't that 'faithful'. After a few months, he let me know that I didn't HAVE such faith on my own... he had GIVEN me faith... the size of a mustard seed... so that I COULD hear him.
You can do it, Mark. ANYONE can. That is what my Lord MEANT when he said, 'Come to ME... all you who are toiling and loaded down...", when he said, "Anyone that is thirsty, let him come to ME and drink...". It is what he meant when he said:
"You are searching the scriptures, because you THINK
that by means of THEM you will have life. But these
are the very ones that bear witness about ME... and
yet... YOU DO NOT WANT TO COME TO ME... that you may
have life."
John 5:39, 40
And so, he has not be NOT to put my trust in earthling man nor in the law written on stone tablets. He has taught me instead, to refer to the law written on my heart... where HE wrote it... in indelible ink... and to come to HIM... and through HIM... approach the Father. I have been before the throne of my Father, before the Ark of the Covenant, seen the 24 elders and touched the glassy sea. I have seen the Ark in its TRUE glory... and I have seen what spirit creatures REALLY look like... without the 'long garment of skin' that WE have, which Adam sold us into.
I have been barred from seeing nothing and hearing nothing, for all things that the Father has told the Son, the Son has condescended to tell me and keeps telling me. And yet, I am nothing. I am not better than ANY of earthling man, indeed, by means of my Father's will and that of my Lords', I am a SERVANT... to all mankind, starting with the Household of God, Israel. And it is to Israel and those who 'go with' them that I must speak and share what I myself 'receive'. I received it free; I must give it free.
Therefore, what my Lord utters to me in 'low tones', what he 'whispers' into my ear, I must shout... from the housetops even... no matter what the 'threat'. (Matthew 10:26-28). And I do, every chance I get, because I love them: I love my Lord, the Son of God, JAHESHUA (JAH saves) MISCHAJAH (messiah; chosen of JAH). I love my Father, the Holy One of Israel, JAH OF ARMIES. And I love all those that they love... ALL of the world... Israel AND the nations.
Unfortunately, all... don't love them. Israel... OR the nations.
I bid you peace, and I remain,
YOUR servant, and a slave of Christ,
SJ