Posts by ToesUp

60

Rec'd a letter from my Dad - need some advice...

by Fadeaway3pointer in

fader here - last meeting was in autumn 2005. lurker on this site and others.

not one to get all controversial.. typical situation, pretty much a born in and left the church at age 38 and never looked back.. i'm 53 now, parents getting older - late 70s but very active, dad is still an elder.. parents, in laws, brother and brother-in-law still uber active jws.. my family (wife and 2 adult children) out since 2005.. we have stayed close to our parents - we have treaded religion lightly and have had a pretty good relationship and have kept our personal lives and beliefs/opinions separated from them.

this was intentional - as we love them and do not want anything to cause shunning since they are getting older and want to be there for them and we respect their beliefs.. got this letter today.

ToesUp

My spouse and I have a agreement between us: "We only want people in our lives that genuinely WANT to be there."

Loved this mrquik, "Blood only makes relatives; not families. Move on."

60

Rec'd a letter from my Dad - need some advice...

by Fadeaway3pointer in

fader here - last meeting was in autumn 2005. lurker on this site and others.

not one to get all controversial.. typical situation, pretty much a born in and left the church at age 38 and never looked back.. i'm 53 now, parents getting older - late 70s but very active, dad is still an elder.. parents, in laws, brother and brother-in-law still uber active jws.. my family (wife and 2 adult children) out since 2005.. we have stayed close to our parents - we have treaded religion lightly and have had a pretty good relationship and have kept our personal lives and beliefs/opinions separated from them.

this was intentional - as we love them and do not want anything to cause shunning since they are getting older and want to be there for them and we respect their beliefs.. got this letter today.

ToesUp

The sad part about all of this is, they will contact you if they need financial help or physical assistance. When the congregation get's tired of taking care of them, they will encourage them to reach out to their children. I have witnessed this before and it is disgusting. You are dead to them UNTIL they need you.

60

Rec'd a letter from my Dad - need some advice...

by Fadeaway3pointer in

fader here - last meeting was in autumn 2005. lurker on this site and others.

not one to get all controversial.. typical situation, pretty much a born in and left the church at age 38 and never looked back.. i'm 53 now, parents getting older - late 70s but very active, dad is still an elder.. parents, in laws, brother and brother-in-law still uber active jws.. my family (wife and 2 adult children) out since 2005.. we have stayed close to our parents - we have treaded religion lightly and have had a pretty good relationship and have kept our personal lives and beliefs/opinions separated from them.

this was intentional - as we love them and do not want anything to cause shunning since they are getting older and want to be there for them and we respect their beliefs.. got this letter today.

ToesUp

It does hurt deeply. NO ONE should have to go through this. NO ONE. The only thing that you could do is be up front and honest with them but unfortunately it will probably be the same outcome (shunning). They told you in the letter that they would have contact with you only for "family emergencies."

They want you back 100% into the cult or they will have no contact with you.

I'm so sorry. I hate what this cult has done to people and families and hope one day it will pay for it. I hope I live long enough to see it happen.

60

Rec'd a letter from my Dad - need some advice...

by Fadeaway3pointer in

fader here - last meeting was in autumn 2005. lurker on this site and others.

not one to get all controversial.. typical situation, pretty much a born in and left the church at age 38 and never looked back.. i'm 53 now, parents getting older - late 70s but very active, dad is still an elder.. parents, in laws, brother and brother-in-law still uber active jws.. my family (wife and 2 adult children) out since 2005.. we have stayed close to our parents - we have treaded religion lightly and have had a pretty good relationship and have kept our personal lives and beliefs/opinions separated from them.

this was intentional - as we love them and do not want anything to cause shunning since they are getting older and want to be there for them and we respect their beliefs.. got this letter today.

ToesUp

Great responses above.

I guess there is really nothing that you can say to your parents that will make them WANT to be a part of your lives. Listener said it best, they couldn't even sign with love. Yes, WT does break up families but the family also goes along with it.

I came across a quote today. I thought about responding to a family members shunning of us but thought....why bother, it will make NO difference to them. I'm sorry that you are feeling the effects of the shunning. Hang in there and know that so many here have been and are where you are now. Hugs to you.

Quote: "Don't waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all."

16

Does Anyone Elses PIMI Family Do A "Not Christmas" Day?

by pale.emperor in

i was told today that my jw family had a massive family gathering with presents exchanged, drinks and a big roast dinner.

they even wore paper hats.. the day they chose for this family day?.

26th december.. totally not christmas or anything - honest.. does anyone elses family do that?

ToesUp

Our family does "not Thanksgiving Day" and "not your Birthday Day." Christmas and New Years? A gathering...with food and drink! lol

60

Rec'd a letter from my Dad - need some advice...

by Fadeaway3pointer in

fader here - last meeting was in autumn 2005. lurker on this site and others.

not one to get all controversial.. typical situation, pretty much a born in and left the church at age 38 and never looked back.. i'm 53 now, parents getting older - late 70s but very active, dad is still an elder.. parents, in laws, brother and brother-in-law still uber active jws.. my family (wife and 2 adult children) out since 2005.. we have stayed close to our parents - we have treaded religion lightly and have had a pretty good relationship and have kept our personal lives and beliefs/opinions separated from them.

this was intentional - as we love them and do not want anything to cause shunning since they are getting older and want to be there for them and we respect their beliefs.. got this letter today.

ToesUp

The typical JW uber letter. It's all about them, not you. You have left US and you have hurt US.

Quick question: How did they find out you celebrated Xmas and "unscriptual cohabitation in your home?"

We are getting similar vibes from our uber side of the family. To be honest, I believe they are seeing a lot of "fading" within the congregations. It seems like they are all banning together to get you "back in play." We see it too.

It's all conditional love. You live OUR way or YOU'RE OTTA HERE! I know it hurt's but this is manipulation and bullying. You may just need to be honest. We hate to loose family but unfortunately it is part of the process. I know...we are feeling it too.

We were VERY honest with our family. The uber's are shunning us and the "fence sitters" still seem to love us. It's sad but it is what it is. The "fence sitters" see the problems within the cult.

I think we are going to see more and more of this as the cult shrinks.WT is really ramping up the shunning and the "last of the last days." They have everyone shaking in their boots at the Kingdom Halls.

39

Email from JW relative/elder

by Lynnie in

as much as i enjoy you and pete's company, you also know our understanding of how much we want you to be reunited with jehovah and his people.. .

we did not set the standards for what jehovah says about our associations with those who choose to not serve him.

so we will always be there for you and pete, but it is in your hands as to how we can enjoy your friendship.. .

ToesUp

"We don't shun, we just won't speak or associate with you until you return to "Jehovah" (aka...the organization). lol

You just can't make this stuff up. They don't even realize what they say. Too funny! Good riddance to em!

70

'Experiences(tm)'! Made up or totally true??

by punkofnice in

at one assembly(tm), i was asked to relate an 'experience(tm)' which i did.

however, during rehearsals, the geezer in charge elder or co or some such title, told me that i shouldn't tell it the way it was.

i did a 're-enactment(tm)' with another 'brother(tm)'.

ToesUp

We saw this first hand at one of the last assemblies we attended.

One brother from our hall gave the experience that he moved from another city and really "simplified." What the audience did not know is that he moved from a million dollar home and moved into a $600K home. lol

Another one was a young girl, with her parents. How did her parents "train her up right?" Study, service and meeting attendance. What the audience did not know, was this girl had been DF'd just 6 months prior to the demo for sleeping with her JW Boyfriend.

Another....a young girl being interviewed on how she maintained her integrity throughout High School. What the audience did not know is that she was going onto college for a 4 year degree. Funny, the CO that was interviewing her did not ask what her future plans were. He knew but put her on the state anyway. She had the look. What a joke!!!

Show people who love to parade themselves and their children around. Great actors!!!

20

How Many of you Remember Mr. Rogers Neighborhood?

by Sea Breeze in

just saw the movie "a beautiful day in the neighborhood" with tom hanks as fred rogers.

excellent acting and story-line.

it brought back many fond memories as a child.

ToesUp

"My wife (And many other JW children) were forbidden to watch the show simply because Fred Rogers was a Presbyterian minister."

The JW's could take a page from his book. If only the JW's were as kind and compassionate. It would draw more people in.

29

WT study 8 December

by road to nowhere in

had to look.

first paragraph mentions that most of were probably born after 1914. most?

i bet the dubs 105 and older can be counted on your fingers..

ToesUp

Wash, rinse, repeat! Like the little boy who cried "wolf."