Hello Deltawave - I can certainly understand your thinking, feelings, and anguish. I've been there and it's not a pleasant place. Take courage my brother! You are actually obeying Jehovah God in that you do not fear or adhere to the false teachings of the WTS. Keep your faith and pray to Jehovah for comfort.
You are certainly not alone at all. Think of Jeremiah, Jonah, Noah, and Lot, and plenty others who were basically in the minority in their thinking and outlook and they were heavily persecuted and ridiculed.
There is no better feeling than to be on the side of righteousness. Be well friend.