Posts by little1

In giving a lot of thought to why my jw ex-boyfriend is the way he is, I have come to believe that he wasn't raised to trust himself to make a good decision. His parent's love was very conditional ("Don't come home if you don't cut your hair, if you don't go to college, if you don't do as we say...") and also very arbitrary. His father once told him to get rid of a car he had bought with his own money when he was 17. No reason, just get rid of it, no argument. So I think he doesn't trust himself. We spent 3 years trying to pick a color for him to paint his living room! He was so afraid of making a wrong choice. Now I think he'd have been a lot more comfortable if the GB would issue a statement telling everyone what color a good jws living room should be, and they'd come around with a paint chip and disfellowship you if you were a shade off! The man is turning 57 in Feb, so I think there's not much hope that he will change.

Some people are afraid to think for themselves, but that doesn't make them weak, really, just afraid.

26

Divorcing Da Mob...

by marriedtodamob in

merry christmas and happy new year to everyone on this awesome board!!!

yes, as the subject line implies, i have decided to get a divorce.

i cannot and will not go through another christmas like the one i just went through with my 10 yr old son.

little1

I wish you strength in the coming time. It will be tough, and maybe sometimes feel overwhelming, but take one day at a time and you'll come out better in the end. I've been through 2 divorces (I have a faulty picker, obviously) and they were no fun at the time, but I am definitely better off than if I had stayed. Thanks for sharing. Your story makes it easier for me to leave behind the jw ex-boyfriend who broke my heart. The mob almost always seems to win. Hugs to you.

little1

28

ARE WE FRIENDS OR ARE WE MORE?

by Serena in

i am so confused about this guy that i have been secretly talking to on the phone and secretly going to his apartment(only at nighttime).

he is a jw, ofcourse--if he wasn't i'm sure i would not have this confusion.

he flirts with me,touches me an chance he gets(on the shoulder or the knee) and i know he likes me more than friendship(or maybe he doesn't, who knows?).

little1

I have been out of touch for awhile and know this is an old thread, but, dear, let me tell you that I rode that merry-go-round for 3 years! Hot cold, I love you, I can't see you. It tore my heart out and I'm still bleeding. Don't get sucked in. Why do they do this? Who knows? It's so wrong to try to keep a toe in and the rest of the body out. I feel your pain, it's awful.((hugs))

little1

30

My story

by ChimChim in

jw
friends

i was never baptised because i was to young, i was in it until i was 5 years old.

but it ruined my life and still is because my dad, nanny, grandfather, my step nanny, my aunt and uncle...all on my dads side of the family are still in it, so i get lectured alot about things that have to do with the "truth" or i hear him talking about and all i think it, "what a bunch of garbage.

he never really yells at me, i don't think he can because he barely ever see's me, i try to avoid going there as much as possible.

little1

Chim Chim: My heart goes out to you in your pain of dealing with a father who isn't there for you. My daughter deals with the same thing as her dad is an alcohoic/drug addict and did the same things, like calling and saying he'd come get her then not showing up. It breaks my heart to see her pain, and yours as well. As a mom I carry a lot of guilt for doing such a bad job of picking a dad for her. I'm glad you're on board and getting some support and help. There are lots of people who understand where you are and what you're going through and will be glad to be there for you when you need them. Count me in. ((hugs))

19

Were you treated differently after you were baptised?

by little1 in

jw
friends

the jw i dated hung around for 14 years before finally being baptised (i don't know how he got away with that).

i've heard that the way they treat you changes after you've signed on the dotted line, that the gloves come off and they start turning the screws.

i'd like to know if this was true for any of you and what your experiences in this area are.. thanks, little1

little1

Sorry- it's my computer's fault! What I started to ask was, Billygoat, do you think you'd still be a jw if you hadn't left your original cong.?

19

Were you treated differently after you were baptised?

by little1 in

jw
friends

the jw i dated hung around for 14 years before finally being baptised (i don't know how he got away with that).

i've heard that the way they treat you changes after you've signed on the dotted line, that the gloves come off and they start turning the screws.

i'd like to know if this was true for any of you and what your experiences in this area are.. thanks, little1

little1

19

Were you treated differently after you were baptised?

by little1 in

jw
friends

the jw i dated hung around for 14 years before finally being baptised (i don't know how he got away with that).

i've heard that the way they treat you changes after you've signed on the dotted line, that the gloves come off and they start turning the screws.

i'd like to know if this was true for any of you and what your experiences in this area are.. thanks, little1

little1

I guess I kind of hope they show their hand, although he might still deny it and explain it away.

Sorry this topic ended up under the "friends" heading, I don't know how that happened. It should be under "experiences". Forgive me, I'm a newbie!

L1