'I was never able to make money, except for the first five trillion.... Its been hard after that"
i tease of course :)
The real question is..... What did you expect? What was your expection or qualifier for "success " that you feel you've fallen short of? Figure out where you are unfulfilled and pursue it. The cult creates lofty universal implications for our every choice. Wenare either pleasing the one true god or giving ammo to the greatest evil ever to exsist... The true os so much more mundane. Perhaps you simply havnt found a replacement purpose that helps you feel fulfilled in the same way :)