Posts by alias

69

Did you know anyone who commited suicide in the org?

by JH in

jw
friends

back in 1991, a young brother maybe 18 years old living next to my place committed suicide.

his father expected him to be very zealous just like he was, but the son never wanted to be like that.

he was always controlled by his father.

alias

Yes, a few individuals in fact. One was an elder who had frequent parts during our circuit assemblies, the father of a friend. It was pretty shocking at the time, but eye-opening as well. He was given a memorial service at the KH due to his years of faithful service.

There is such irony in this kind of thing. Hopeful futures... Happy people.... Blessed by God.... but the truth is that even JWs have to deal with the same problems and emotional/physical imperfections the rest of us are plagued by. Sadly, some are pushed over the edge by the undercurrents of 'do more' or the extreme stress and alienation that occurs with DFing or losing faith in what they believed for a lifetime.

43

Why On Earth Did You Ever Become A Witness & What Made You Decide To Leave?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i've known for years that if i was visited at my home by jehovah's witnesses, i would have become a do not call.

i would have firmly but politely told the witnesses to never come back to my door and bother me again.

since i was raised "in the truth", i learned the religion from infancy.

alias

I chose to become a JW based on the knowledge and experience I had at the time. I walked away for the same reasons. Both experiences have added greatly to my perspective on life and understanding of people.

28

Is God real to you?

by alias in

jw
friends

in a recent topic someone mentioned how much they have drifted from god since they "left the jw's.".

as someone brought up in the org (inactive for several years)i have found this to be similiar in my case.

i don't know how much i believe the fan/plug analogy (remember that in the live forever book?

alias

I appreciate the additional comments on this post.

I remember posting this a couple of years ago, and I think about where I'm at now. I always come full circle with this one. No definite answers, only my intuition to go on and freedom to take in new perspectives. LyinEyes, I liked your last comment, "I just have the plan to try and study the best I can, be the best person I can be, and always keep an open mind."

There is so much out there to experience! I keep an open mind and enjoy the journey.

22

Reams and Reams of Information

by Prisca in

jw
friends

this post is primarily for those folk on this board, who post copious quantities of jw info on this board.. .

i can understand your wanting to help present jws and those looking for info on the organisation, but this is not the place for posting reams and reams of info.

most of us here know already this stuff.

alias

Tina, Norm, and other h20 alumni,
I realized today how my above comments might have been unwelcoming to you. I apologize to you for that and have erased them into oblivion.

perhaps they simply reflect [...] other's adjusting to the changing environment of a place that they've come to find very intimite and comfortable.

The above articulates better the reason for my intial post. My hope is that what drew many of us here in the first place will continue to be what makes here different than there.

Let me try again, welcome to the board. I look forward to getting to know you, and of course, benefiting from the different perspectives.

Alia
the personal-growth and development class

P.S. I couldn't post this as a new post because the system wouldn't let me.

Edited by - alias on 19 March 2001 22:23:33

5

"out there"....a SCARY place to be!!!

by chipster in

jw
friends

wow.....thanks for the warm welcome.... i was just thinking what an interesting journey that it's been since june of last year, when i was dfd for the second time.. some of you wanted to hear my "story"...well, was raised in the truth...elder, pioneer (wanted those special blessings, ya know) cir ass.

parts, the whole thing... left my wife of 27 years, and made the long trek back to reinstatement after 18 months of humiliating abuse by the most dysfunctional group of "spiritual men" (yeah, right) that i have ever seen.

finally came back, crawling on my knees(i was "humbled", don't you know)...well, without getting into details, "sinned" then "confessed" and was promptly dfd again.... the scariest part at first, of being dfd, was "being out there" without jehovah's protection....all alone...no one to support me in my spiritual recovery....subject to demonic attack.....jehovah withholding his protection and blessings.....sheeeesh, that's enogh to scare the hell out of anyone!!!

alias

Hi Chipster!
Enjoyed reading your story and listening to your perspective on things. I especially liked your thought: "i have come to the conclusion that the "truth" is for each of us to decide.. we have to live in our own "truth" , i feel, and live a life of authenticity, and in integrity.."

Welcome to the board!

Alia

65

The Poor JW Children

by larc in

jw
friends

the children.

there are many things that could be changed, and even though i would never go back, i think there are some very basic changes they could make in their child rearing practices, simple changes that would make a big difference in their society.. 1. don't force small children to sit for two hours in a chair.. this was discussed at length on the thread about slapping children at the kingdom hall.. 2. don't bring children to meetings where the subject has to do with adult sexual practices.. 3. don't tell teenagers that they can't ask someone out for a date unless marriage is on their mind.. 4. don't tell them that they are not special, that they have to humble themselves and be like everyone else.. 5. don't tell them they have to get good grades through high school as a reflection of what jehovah has given them and then tell them they can't go to college when they graduate from high school at the top of their class.. 6. don't tell your wordly neighbors that you give your children presents all through the year, but not on their birthday, when they have never seen a special gift wrapped present in their life.. 7. don't expect a shy child to enjoy going from door to door and don't expect an extroverted, lively child to sit still at meetings.. 8. don't tell an inquiring child not to ask questions and don't tell them not to read interesting books.. 9. don't surprised if you don't change your ways that your children will leave you, even though they love you.

alias

larc,
I appreciated reading your post too. I was three when our family started attending meetings, and can really relate! I wasn't allowed to sleep, draw, or read any "other" books when sitting through meetings. I frequently got smacked back into line if I was squirmy. Thank goodness for trips to the restroom. I have no idea how I made it through all those years!

My own children never went through that, and although they could have done more than I had hoped, they are still warm, loving, good human beings, with no "inculcation" no week after week of programing, they grew up like flowers in a garden, and I am happy to know them as my children and as my friends. Thank God for minor miracles.

Yes, thank goodness for that. You are truly blessed!

Alia

10

About me...

by NoLongerAjw in

jw
friends

wow, thank you all so much for the welcome.. .

i will tell you a little about myself and my past.. as much as i can for now anyway.. one of the most scarey parts of joining a group is i am afraid to put my name on here.. will that mean i will get a visit from the elders if i do?

i think they put the fear in me :).. .

alias

Dear NoLongerAjw,
Welcome! No need to fear your anonominity here, and don't feel that you need to share anything too personal or that you are uncomfortable with.

I enjoyed reading your story, as it reminded me partly of my own life growing up. Especially the part about dating a "non-jw" in your teens and having to sneak around to see him. I had a similiar experience when I was 17, but ended up having to 'let go' of him because it just wasn't working out with me having to hide the relationship (and inconveniencing him in the meanwhile). A lost love that I have grieved many times over.

On the other hand, it sounds like your life is better off now. You are not too much younger than me at this point, and I too am catching up on lost time. Somedays I wish it was possible to go re-live all of those years and do the normal things that were forbidden. As it stands now I am inactive and doing my best to stay "faded" because of family in the org. The elders/cong don't bother getting in touch - although I do expect a visit soon for a memorial invite.

Again, welcome!

Alia

17

Classical Music

by RedhorseWoman in

last weekend i was enjoying a sarah mclachlan marathon, this weekend it was kenny wayne shepherd and any other blues/rock i could locate.. while indulging in the music that i love, i started thinking about the "gold old jw days", and i remembered listening to the rite of spring by stravinsky, as well as many other classical works when i was younger.. i was transported to a magical, mythical place, and i would frequently put together my own dance routines to accompany the music (since i wasn't allowed to go to dance class).

then came the "warnings" from brooklyn about the pagan themes surrounding many classical works.

the rite of spring was specifically mentioned as one that could turn the good jw into a foaming, demon-inhabited monster.. destroyers of dreams, creators of the mundane--how could i have allowed them to strip my life of all the beautiful things?

alias

RHW,
Indulge yourself! Isn't it funny how many of the things we used to find enjoyment in would somehow end up getting a negative slant from the society and show up in a WT article?

Enjoy life!

Alia

14

Married, but....

by RedhorseWoman in

today is valentine's day...a day to share with your partner.

today is bittersweet for me.. my husband is a wonderful man....intelligent, a gifted musician, kind, handsome....and an alcoholic.

he spent the day drinking, and i spent my valentine's day evening eating supper alone in front of the tv.. tomorrow is my birthday.

alias

RHW,
I missed this post originally, but wanted to wish you a belated Happy Birthday!

Also, I'm really sorry how you had to spend Valentine's Day and your current situation with your husband.

How we all have our private trials in life with our family members and spouses. Thankfully we have friends who care in our lives to help balance out things a bit. I truly hope your husband will realize what he's doing and change his behavior before it's too late. My thoughts are with you. (((HUGS)))

Alia

17

Simon and Angharad

by mommy in

just a little note to let you know you are in my prayers!

i know tomorrow you go before the gullitione.

hope everything works out for you.

alias

Simon and Angharad,
Thanks so much to the time and effort you put into building this board, you have helped create an honest, caring support group of people who will not judge you or anyone else for your standing in (or out of) the org.

I feel so sorry for those who had to go through what you've been through this week before this sort of communication medium was available. I am so thankful we all have access to it so easily today.
None of us necessarily need to rely our localities for such support. The Internet has made possible what was previously impossible.

My thoughts are with you both and your children. I am so happy that you have eachother through this difficult time. And of course you have us. And should the time come when any others of us find ourselves in the same situation as you are now, I am thankful that this group exists for us too.

Much gratitude and thankfulness for technology and knowledge,

alia

P.S. Simon, can you list the links to your other sites? I lost the JW truth one. Thanks so much!