Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water.
In the water floated, of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock & surprise. Imagine his curiosity! Surely Miss Bea had flipped or something...! When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him, and he could resist no longer "Miss Bea," he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" (pointing to the bowl). "Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know.. I haven't had a cold all winter."
Posts by Meg
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2Better Than a Flu Shot
by Meg inmiss bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.
she was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
the pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her victorian parlor.
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Meg
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Lawsuit
by Meg insomewhere in the deep south bubba called an attorney and asked, "is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?
" "yes, bubba, that's true" answered the lawyer.
"and people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries -- is that true, mister lawyer?
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Meg
Somewhere in the deep south Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?" "Yes, Bubba, that's true" answered the lawyer. "And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries -- is that true, mister lawyer?" "Sure is, Bubba, but why do you ask?" " 'Cause I was thinkin' maybe I can sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've been waken' up with."
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6
SHE WAS SO BLONDE.....
by Meg inshe was so blonde.......... ..she thought a quarterback was a refund.
..she thought general motors was in the army.
..she thought meow mix was a cd for cats.
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Meg
SHE WAS SO BLONDE.........
..she thought a quarterback was a refund
..she thought General Motors was in the army
..she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats
..at the bottom of an application, where it says "sign here," she wrote
Sagittarius
SHE WAS SOO BLONDE......
..she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
..she sent a fax with a stamp on it
..she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday
..under "education" on a job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics"
SHE WAS SOOO BLONDE....
..she tripped over a cordless phone
..she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice because it said
"concentrate"
..she told met to meet her at the corner of "walk" and "don't walk" ..she asked for a price check at the Everything For A Dollar Store
SHE WAS SOOOO BLONDE...
..she studied for a blood test
..she sold her car for gas money
..when she went to the airport and saw a sign that read "Airport Left," she
turned around and went home
SHE WAS SOOOOO BLONDE..
..when she heard that 90% of all crimes occurred around home, she moved ..she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company ..she thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless
....and finally, SHE WAS SOOOOOO BLONDE....
..she had a shirt that said TGIF, which she tought stood for "This Goes In
Front."
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4
Giving more than 100%
by no one infrom a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:.
what makes 100%?
what does it mean to give more than a 100%?.
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Meg
I love it!!
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80
All Time FAVORITE Singer Or Band
by minimus inwho or what is your all time favorite singer or band?
even if you never saw them, if you could---you'd spend big bucks to see them.
i love anita baker.
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Meg
I am with The Grudge on his picks.
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29
Dating and being chapperoned
by dustyb inwhy the hell can't jws date w/o having a chapperone or anything of that matter?
i have always thought that its stupid and its trying to pry into peoples lives.
but i just wanna know why.
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Meg
What got me was the fact that I wasn't allowed to hang out with boys at all even in groups without an adult chaperone, but this was only after a visit from one young new CO who was completely off his rocker. He actually said from the platform that boys and girls should not hang out together in groups unchaperoned regardless of where they were, the mall, the movies, etc. Up until his visit, I had always been allowed to do this. I don't understand how they can say that it is wrong for a group of witness youths to go to the mall together!!
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Dating and being chapperoned
by dustyb inwhy the hell can't jws date w/o having a chapperone or anything of that matter?
i have always thought that its stupid and its trying to pry into peoples lives.
but i just wanna know why.
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Meg
OMG, this use to drive me crazy. I dated my boyfriend for 3 years before we got engaged and even after we got engaged, we were still not allowed to be alone together at all. We couldn't even drive to pickup some fast food alone! Also we could not take my sister along as a chaperone, it would have to be an adult who was strong in the troof. All this did was make us sneak around more then ever!!
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5
Things You'd Love To Say At Work
by Meg inthings you'd love to say at work but .... .
1. i see your point, but i still think you're full of shit.. .
2. i don't know what your problem is, but i'll bet it's hard to pronounce.. .
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Meg
THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK BUT ...
1. I see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message..
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your
unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing &still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, &disorder - my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks. -
31
Quick Introduction
by Nocturne ini've been lurking here for a few months now, and i've been wanting to post for awhile now but i've never really been up to it.
i first stumbled upon the information about the wtbts being an ngo for 10 years in september, and ever since i've been finding out about all the other things the society has been up to.
as of now, i'm still going to the meetings, but now my eyes have been truly opened, and i can see things in a whole new perspective, and it's amazing the deception that's going on in the organization.
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Meg
Welcome!!
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15
Blond Joke
by Meg inas a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
she jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
the trucker lowers the window, and she says "hi, my name is heather and you are losing some of your load.".
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Meg
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
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> > The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
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> > Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck
door.The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
> > When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.
> > When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says...
> > "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Michigan, and I'm driving the damn
> > SALT TRUCK!"