lazuli

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Posts by lazuli

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  31

  Guilty conscience

  by lazuli in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my ex-bf is a baptized jw, i've been studying for about ten months already and i'm about to start in the school.

  when we were together, we were very intimate, there was never any penetration, but there was pretty much everythings besides that.

  not that its anyone's business but this included oral sex and such.

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  lazuli

  I'm 18, I started dating my ex when I was 16
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  31

  Guilty conscience

  by lazuli in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my ex-bf is a baptized jw, i've been studying for about ten months already and i'm about to start in the school.

  when we were together, we were very intimate, there was never any penetration, but there was pretty much everythings besides that.

  not that its anyone's business but this included oral sex and such.

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• 

  lazuli

  I'
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  24

  Another concern

  by lazuli in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know i know, i'm so sorry to bug you guys about this but for obvious reasons i can't talk about it with anyone from the congregation and you guys are familiar with the watchtower.

  in the watchtower, the woman is expected to be 'chaste.

  ' so i'm worried that if i decide to marry someone that is a jw if what i did before will be a problem.

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  lazuli

  I know I know, I'm so sorry to bug you guys about this but for obvious reasons I can't talk about it with anyone from the congregation and you guys are familiar with the watchtower. In the watchtower, the woman is expected to be 'chaste.' So I'm worried that if I decide to marry someone that is a JW if what I did before will be a problem.
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  31

  Guilty conscience

  by lazuli in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my ex-bf is a baptized jw, i've been studying for about ten months already and i'm about to start in the school.

  when we were together, we were very intimate, there was never any penetration, but there was pretty much everythings besides that.

  not that its anyone's business but this included oral sex and such.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  lazuli

  To clear things up, we started getting intimate before I sarted studying, however, we continued to do it after I had started, so I knew that we weren't supposed to, but we still did. Oh and I am about to become an unbaptized publisher. Thank you for your responses, I suppose I'll keep quiet and repent.
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  31

  Guilty conscience

  by lazuli in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my ex-bf is a baptized jw, i've been studying for about ten months already and i'm about to start in the school.

  when we were together, we were very intimate, there was never any penetration, but there was pretty much everythings besides that.

  not that its anyone's business but this included oral sex and such.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  lazuli

  My ex-bf is a baptized JW, I've been studying for about ten months already and I'm about to start in the school. When we were together, we were very intimate, there was never any penetration, but there was pretty much everythings besides that. Not that its anyone's business but this included oral sex and such. Our intimacy was practically daily and started about 4 months into the relationship until the very end. So a total of about 1 year and 7 months of constant intimace. Anyway, during my study the other, we came upon the subject of fornication and premarital sex and such. The head elder was the one giving me study (his wife usually does it and she was there too). He told me that any sort of sexual act counts as premarital relations, even if there is con penetration. Well this brings about a problem, I knew that it wasn't right what we were doing, however, we both went along with it. The elder was explaining to me that usually studies are told about this but if they have done it in the past there's nothing much to do, as long as once they devote themselves to Jehovah they abstain from it, so that's no problem for me. However, he also said that anyone who knew of a baptized JW that had participated in such things had to confess it, and that that JW would possibly even be excommunicated...which puts me in a predicament. Of course, I didn't say anything, but now I have a guily conscience. I can't shake off the feeling that if I do say something to the elders it will be as a form of getting back at my ex, but its not at all like that. We have been broken up for almost 6 months now and he has a new gf, so this would be digging up really old things, but I feel with the obligation to confess, the only way would be to talk directly to my ex, but i really don't want to. We go to the same congregation but we don't speak, and I know that if I do say something he will be reprimanded severely and maybe excommunicated, especially for hiding it, and of course he'll hate me because he'll think I did it out of spite. Can someone help me out???
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  23

  Doubts

  by lazuli in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm an 18 year old girl, i started studying with the jws 9 months ago.

  i was dating a guy that was a jw and i chose that i also wanted to study.

  we were together for 2 years and broke up four months ago.

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  lazuli

  Well, when my ex-bf and I would go to the kingdom hall he would always introduce me as his friend, some ppl even asked if I was his cousin, which always bother me because I wanted him to give me my place. Only th lady that gives me study, her husband (who happens to be the head elder) and their 18 yr. old son knew that we were a couple. A couple of weeks ago one of my girlfirends there told me that it was really obvious that we were a couple and that other ppl had noticed it too. She's not baptized either, she tried to help me out and also thinks that he is an a-hole. I never talked to the elder about it but his wife told me that he was very sad that this was happening to me. The lady that gives me study tried to help me out but I think she still sees us as getting back together someday, the other night she told me that she knew I loved him completely but what she wasn't sure of was if he loved me like a girlfriend or as a siter or friends because she told me that she notices that he gets jealous when he ses me talking to the other brothers but then again he doesn't want anything to do with me. So basically they've kept their distance about the situation but I haven't really let them know how bad I was.
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  7

  Intimacy

  by lazuli in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my ex-bf and i, he's a baptized jw and i'm a study, never had sex during our relationship.

  however, we dis have intimacy, meaning that we did everythin else but penetration, i know how bad this sounds, but we really did do anything you could do without there being penetration, so we were very intimate.

  i remeber that when we got together in the first place he mentioned to me once that he wouldn't have dated me if i wasn't a virgin.

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  lazuli

  My ex-bf and I, he's a baptized JW and I'm a study, never had sex during our relationship. However, we dis have intimacy, meaning that we did everythin else but penetration, I know how bad this sounds, but we really did do anything you could do without there being penetration, so we were very intimate. I remeber that when we got together in the first place he mentioned to me once that he wouldn't have dated me if I wasn't a virgin. So now I'm thinking, oh and he's the only guy that I've had any sort of intimacy with, if what we did counts as fornication, or if now I'm not clean or suitable or another guy thats a JW. If I do get baptized and want to marry a JW, would this be an obstalce, what would the elders say if I told them about this? Does anybody know what would happen? I know that if you fornicate with someone you pretty much end up marrying them, but does this apply???
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  23

  Doubts

  by lazuli in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm an 18 year old girl, i started studying with the jws 9 months ago.

  i was dating a guy that was a jw and i chose that i also wanted to study.

  we were together for 2 years and broke up four months ago.

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  lazuli

  I know that breaking up with him was the right choice, it hurts like hell, but he's ok, he's not heartbroken and never was. As a matter of fact, now that I think of it he left me long before I left him, and I don't understaind how someone can just stop loving you like that, without you even noticing it, or wanting to notice it rather. Our relationship didn't end because of the JWs, he did say that he wanted to grow spiritually but that was just one of his excuses. Its just that now I can't picture myself leaving, espeially because of the great people and close friends I've met there
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  23

  Doubts

  by lazuli in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm an 18 year old girl, i started studying with the jws 9 months ago.

  i was dating a guy that was a jw and i chose that i also wanted to study.

  we were together for 2 years and broke up four months ago.

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  lazuli

  I do know that song, its funy you should mention it because right around the time that that song came out was when I met my ex, and he was very into usic and everything so since I liked that song he told me that he would take me to a Jimmy Eat World concert, we were just friends then, then as my thing I told him I would buy him a lightsaber one day because he is a mega star wars fan, and sure enough, two years later, I bought him his lightsaber the first we went to disneyland together and bout two years after that he took me to a Jimmy Eat World concert, which was the last concert we went to.
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  23

  Doubts

  by lazuli in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm an 18 year old girl, i started studying with the jws 9 months ago.

  i was dating a guy that was a jw and i chose that i also wanted to study.

  we were together for 2 years and broke up four months ago.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  lazuli

  Thanx, I have a friend (non-JW) that also tells me to put this whole JW thing off for a while but this has helped me a lot and I have met very close friends. About my ex, I am still attatched, we were together for a long time and he was my first love. Besides that he alwyas told me that we would be together forever, that he didn't get into this relationship to see it come to an end, we had our WEDDING planned, out kid's names, where we were going to live, he promised he would never leave me, he promised he would never stopped loving me, but he did. It was, IS, heartbreaking for me. After we broke up I didn't eat for three days straight, I couldn't sleep so I had to take sleeping pills, and I lost 10 pounds in one week, and I went a little psychotic.....I know how pathetic this sounds but I was REALLY in love with him, and I still am, probably just with the memory of him now, he's become a complete stranger to me. It's so hard for me to see him at the kingdom hall and shake his hand and now that he's not mine, I can't just be his friend. We had the perfect love story and that's why its so hard for me to let go. It's as is Romeo had told Juliet, "you know, I think I'll try my luck elsewhere." Its been over four months, in which we've talked, argued, had intimacy about 2 or 3 weeks ago, but then he told me that it was just old feelings, so now I'm completely miserable and disillusioned. I'm sorry I went off like this, but yes I am still very attatched....