Has anyone noticed that there is no mention of the WTBS on the website as being the author of those articles? Isn't that like a copyright infringement or something?
Or did I just miss the mention of the WTBS?
astridkittie
JoinedPosts by astridkittie
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16
I just stumbled upon a Witness's site... hmmm...
by somebodylovesme inhttp://www.angelfire.com/blog/the_voice/ .
lots of articles if anyone's interested.
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astridkittie
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Anyone see Passion of the Christ yet?
by astridkittie ini went to see it thursday... and i must say... this movie had me sobbing from grief and shock.
it really opened my eyes to what jc went through.
you know, you always hear about him being beat 68 times with a cat of nine tails but then you look at the picture of a man with some criss crosses on his back and it just doesn't click with you that 68 times should be alot worse than that picture... when i came home after that, it was all i could do to restrain myself from burning every picture of him like that in every publication in my house, and i wouldn't have restrained myself if those publications were mine, but they're all my dub grandmother's, and i'm sure i would've been accused of having a demon in me if i had, lol.
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astridkittie
I'm sorry, I looked for other posts but actually didn't find any when I made this one. :(
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Incense Burning - Geez, These Guys Have a Rule For Everything!
by worldlygirl inthere seems to be a problem with incense burning now!
this is from the watchtower website: http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2003/6/1/article_01.htm.
a) they are running out of crap to publish.
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astridkittie
Did anyone notice their reference to John 4:24?
is a spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth." -
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The Passion of the Christ movie
by Steve Lowry inwell, i just saw the movie yesterday and i'll tell ya something.
considering the reviews about how moving this movie had been for so many people, i secretly was hoping that seeing this movie might help me with my current state of disbelief and apathy about the person of jesus.
but sadly it had only the opposite effect.
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astridkittie
You know... I'm not really studied enough in the idea of grace to be explaining it, at least, I couldn't explain it in any way that would make much sense right now, as I'm struggling with some belief issues of my own in that area, but... I do know where you're coming from about not feeling anything about the Bible and Jesus and all... I didn't either for a really long time. And I think it's good that you're going through this, because now I realize that period of complete coldness helped me to be completely free of any doctrines or beliefs that could injure my ability to decide for myself where my spirituality would lead me, not to mention it kept me from latching on to another religion without knowing my own spiritual convictions. When you come out of the JWs, your spirituality is really screwed up. You've learned that your "only true religion" is a lie, but you're still stuck thinking there has to be one true religion, and you look all over the place for it only to be disheartened and turned to stone when it comes to religion. The reason why it's so good that you go through this is to keep you from immediately jumping into another religion just to replace the Society's pacification. It gives you the oppurtunity to gain your own spiritual freedom. The only issue is you probably still think that spirituality is all about what religion you follow, and the truth is, most probably no religion around is going to suit your individual needs. Most of what Jesus taught actually lent spiritual freedom and flexability... some people can fit into the box of a particular religion and be perfectly happy, but most have to make their own box, so to speak. Just like different people have different nutritional needs, different people have different spiritual needs.
I guess what I'm saying is... if believing in God and his love is enough for you, great. :) Just realize that religions aren't the only spiritual options you have for interpreting the Bible, and FIGHT IT if the WBTS has ruined the Bible and Jesus for you. It's just another trick to keep you from being true to yourself. -
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astridkittie
No dating, no body modifications *body piercings especially*, not being able to eat the bread at the Memorial really bugged me, especially when I was a kid, mainly because I'm such a curious person by nature I wanted to know what it tasted like and still do :P, and not being able to seriously consider other religious doctrines and other points of view, most of all developing my own independence of thought, bugged me most of all :P
In fact the last one was why I left... I tried to control my wanting to be independent thought-wise repeatedly, failed repeatedly, and finally got to feeling like such a hypocrite for having these feelings and staying in the organization that I figured I might as well leave and since I'm doomed already go ahead and indulge these feelings while I still could. -
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Anyone see Passion of the Christ yet?
by astridkittie ini went to see it thursday... and i must say... this movie had me sobbing from grief and shock.
it really opened my eyes to what jc went through.
you know, you always hear about him being beat 68 times with a cat of nine tails but then you look at the picture of a man with some criss crosses on his back and it just doesn't click with you that 68 times should be alot worse than that picture... when i came home after that, it was all i could do to restrain myself from burning every picture of him like that in every publication in my house, and i wouldn't have restrained myself if those publications were mine, but they're all my dub grandmother's, and i'm sure i would've been accused of having a demon in me if i had, lol.
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astridkittie
I went to see it Thursday... and I must say... this movie had me sobbing from grief and shock. It really opened my eyes to what JC went through. You know, you always hear about him being beat 68 times with a cat of nine tails but then you look at the picture of a man with some criss crosses on his back and it just doesn't click with you that 68 times should be alot worse than that picture... when I came home after that, it was all I could do to restrain myself from burning every picture of him like that in every publication in my house, and I wouldn't have restrained myself if those publications were mine, but they're all my dub grandmother's, and I'm sure I would've been accused of having a demon in me if I had, lol. But still... I felt so much anger, like I had been robbed of fully understanding the pain he went through... and at the same time, I felt horrible, because during that movie I wanted so badly to take his place so he wouldn't have to go through all that, I felt I don't deserve this kind of sacrifice, I deserve it 10 million times and over more than he did, I even thought for some moments that I would even prefer mankind to have stayed doomed than for him to make that kind of sacrifice... I mentioned that to some friends and they gave me a really odd look, lol. It's strange... I struggle with the idea of grace, not with accepting the idea that it's true, but with wanting it, because I really don't feel like I'm worth the trouble or deserve it, correction, I know I don't, and I have issues wanting it because I know I don't deserve it and well, it's like knowing someone you really, really love is in pain because they're trying to help you. You don't really want to accept that help, you just want to suffer and deal with it just so they won't be hurting. I mean, it's over and done with, over way before I was born, and I can't do anything about it, and that just kind of upsets me more, that I can't do anything about it and never could. Which I guess makes me feel even more guilty. Ugh. It's a mess, lol.
Well, um, I guess you can tell how moving that movie was for me... I was just wondering if anyone was just as moved by it as I was. I was also really impressed by the accuracy of it compared to other films that have been made about the same subject... there were some non biblical scenes in it, but they blended in nicely without getting doctrinal or bending the story so to speak. I'm not normally one to see a movie in the theater more than once, but I'm actually considering going back to see this one again. :) -
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Stumbling...
by astridkittie inin another post, someone made a reference to e-watchman's sudden call to duty.
i went to the link provided and when reading the sample letter decided to check out the 11-22-98 issue of the awake mentioned as being "un propaganda".
now... the first time i read this, i was shocked that i had read it before without blinking an eye as a jw.
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astridkittie
In another post, someone made a reference to E-Watchman's sudden call to duty. I went to the link provided and when reading the sample letter decided to check out the 11-22-98 issue of the Awake mentioned as being "UN propaganda". Now... the first time I read this, I was shocked that I had read it before without blinking an eye as a JW. Reading it a second time, I realized nothing in it actually promoted the UN... just provided information on it and then went on to say that it could never achieve what God's Kingdom would. Now I'm questioning if the rigidness I learned came from my fellow JWs or from the Society's literature itself (i.e. if I got the "UN is evil" idea from others or if the Society's literature elsewhere conveyed that idea to me) and... goodness, I can't even figure out how to word everything I'm confused about right now. Just if the Society is being a slippery snake to appear one way when actually making you think another way or if everyone's just misunderstanding it all or something and one part of me is wanting to hit the WBTS for being so conniving and fake and another part of me is wondering if maybe they're as innocent as they seem just people misunderstand what they're saying or something. I guess I really HAVEN'T figured out for myself whether what they say is the truth or not yet because what they say is always so... passive, or something, and when you read others criticizing parts of the literature it's usually archaic pieces of literature like from the 1970's and earlier or it's so nicely worded that whatever the person is saying about it almost seems false compared to the text because the text itself doesn't technically say anything that the person is denouncing, if that makes any sense at all.
More than anything I just have major issues with believing anything any more. It's like I'm constantly disbelieving everything, I think half the time I don't believe I even really exist, and then when I don't believe in anything it creates such a empty place in me full of confusion that I grab on to something that I WANT to believe *like untrustworthy people* just to keep myself from going completely under... but just grabbing on to something and honestly believing in it becomes harder and harder as each thing I grab on to shows up to be false. I ask for concrete proof of things, but such concrete proof often doesn't exist... I can't figure out whether I've just gotten to the point where I can't see honestly concrete proof as concrete or whether it really isn't concrete. The best way I can think of to describe it is that I'm completely and utterly lost, even in areas where most people aren't lost, right down to my perceptions of what's right and wrong and the world, all of that has fallen down and I'm left with nothing but trying to grasp on to what OTHER people's perceptions are and then I doubt those because they could be wrong and am once again back to nothing. I'm told to just be myself... and I know who myself is, don't get me wrong... but somehow I'm afraid that being myself is wrong somehow, that allowing my emotions to flow and my thoughts to flow is wrong somehow, I'm scared to death that I may not be feeling the right thing or thinking the right thing or doing the right thing and when I grasp on to a perception or list of ideals I'm worried that THEY'RE not the right thing either. And it's like since I can't figure out what the right way to think, feel, be, and the right perceptions are, I can't figure out whether or not anything else is right either. Because of all this it's like... I have a belief system, one that I WANT to believe is true, but I CAN'T believe is true because I'm so confused about everything. I WANT to be myself but I CAN'T be myself because I'm so afraid that it's not right to be myself... that my true self is somehow impure, evil, and needs to be restrained and molded to fit the truth, but I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE TRUTH IS. If I try to relax and just be myself I end up feeling like a hypocrite because I'm being myself while I still don't know if it's right to and I'm still confused as to whether I should.
It's like... when I was a little kid and used to have these horrible nightmares... I was told that it was the demons playing with me and if I prayed to Jehovah he would make them stop... I prayed and prayed my heart out, and they didn't stop... so I assumed that it meant that I was bad and that was why he didn't answer my prayers. Ever since then I've had the fear, practically belief, that the real me is actually evil somehow and that maybe if I controlled myself to be the right way I would have some small chance of being redeemed... as I got older I still felt the real me tugging away, and I left the Witnesses because I wasn't entirely sure it was the right way because it wasn't working at making the real me go away and I was being a hypocrite by staying if it was the right way because I couldn't be the way I was supposed to be inside. And ever since then, even though I see with my own two eyes how hypocritical the Society is itself and would never think of going back to the JWs, I still am lost as to what the definition of "truth" is even and if being myself is evil and if it is what way I'm supposed to be. It's like I've still got it in my head that Satan is stalking about like a roaring lion and making the darkness seem like light so it's practically impossible to believe anything is the truth or that any way is the right way. And then again... it absolutely devestates me to think that God could be a person that would destroy people for walking the wrong path when they can't possibly tell what the right path is or if they're walking it... but even if he is... I'm scared to death of being rejected by him, just like a kid is frightened of being rejected by a parent he's done nothing but try to please out of love. And the idea of there not being a God frightens me beyond words... it's like... I look to him so much, practically like an actual father, because when I was younger I didn't have a father and when my mother left me when I had tried so hard to make her happy and be the perfect daughter God was all I had left to try to please and be loved by. Because I would so desperately love to believe that he would accept me as I was and love me like I loved him, despite my mistakes realized and unrealized. That he could accept me just because I loved him and I tried my best to do what's right... and I'm trying so hard to do what's right... but I can't do what's right when I don't know what's right and I don't know if just trying is enough for him.
Can anyone relate? I think advice from someone who can relate would help more than from someone who's never felt this way... I know this post is long and I just kind of spilled my guts out and I'm sorry for it all being so depressing. -
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Blood issue and discipline
by lurk in.
i'm interested in hearing if any of you have been made to leave the wts or been discipline (sp!!
) as a result of blood transfusion.. there are lots of posts on blood that im trawling through .....but im in such a hurry as this is part of a question ive been asked by an interested party ....i fear i may miss what im looking for so would greatly appreciate your help on this .. would really appreaciate anyone who can say if this has happened to them.and briefly how.
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astridkittie
I find it rather interesting that it tells you not to eat animal fat as well... yet, you don't see too many JWs picking the fat out of their meat, lol.
*thinks* Is that verse even IN the NWT? I read it in the KJ... -
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Should I be over it by now?
by astridkittie ini was 16 when i disassociated myself from the jws after growing up in it, and i'm 20 now and still having issues with breaking the thought process i was brought up with.
i long ago realized the doctrine was wrong in the jws, but somehow i still find myself having issues with guilt whenever i stop to feel or act or think a way that's my own and not what someone else tells me i should feel/act/think.
other times i feel completely lost because i don't know how i'm supposed to feel or act or think at the moment and i know that's not the way i should be thinking, that there isn't a particular way i'm supposed to be inside, but... i still have the paranoia and the gut feeling that i'm doing wrong by being myself, so to speak.
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astridkittie
Thanks for all the help. :) I actually have researched quite a bit of "the truth about the truth" and have quite broken free of the initial doctrine, it's just... kind of like a recovery from a drug addiction... the drug is gone but the addictive habits and issues are still there, even though you don't want them to be because it's not making you any happier and know it's wrong. And it doesn't help any that I often doubt if what's true is true and what's wrong is wrong, if that makes any sense. When everything you think is true turns out to be wrong... it kind of turns your entire world upside down where you don't know what to believe or trust in any more, even if you know in your heart what's true and what's not... but you were taught not to trust your heart because it'll cause you to "stumble"... so you're just kind of all mixed up. Which is probably just how the Society wants you to be... makes it more likely you'll go back like a kicked dog... and it drives me crazy that it's so hard to break this even though I realize that... just typing what I just did about the Society made me feel like I was blaspheming for a second, lol, even though I know what the game is... it's wierd.
I would love to find a therepist however I can't seem to find any in my area that have any experience with this sort of thing or even know anything about the JWs. They always seem to think it's just a religion like any other religion and end up making me feel like I'm just being paranoid or something about the harmful effects.
Fortunately though my JW family is moving out of state in September so I won't be under their watchful *and often critical* eyes and *encouragement* to come back any longer... I'm hoping being away from all that pressure might help me further...
Thank you for letting me know I'm not the only one that takes so long though... :) -
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Should I be over it by now?
by astridkittie ini was 16 when i disassociated myself from the jws after growing up in it, and i'm 20 now and still having issues with breaking the thought process i was brought up with.
i long ago realized the doctrine was wrong in the jws, but somehow i still find myself having issues with guilt whenever i stop to feel or act or think a way that's my own and not what someone else tells me i should feel/act/think.
other times i feel completely lost because i don't know how i'm supposed to feel or act or think at the moment and i know that's not the way i should be thinking, that there isn't a particular way i'm supposed to be inside, but... i still have the paranoia and the gut feeling that i'm doing wrong by being myself, so to speak.
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astridkittie
I was 16 when I disassociated myself from the JWs after growing up in it, and I'm 20 now and still having issues with breaking the thought process I was brought up with. I long ago realized the doctrine was wrong in the JWs, but somehow I still find myself having issues with guilt whenever I stop to feel or act or think a way that's my own and not what someone else tells me I should feel/act/think. Other times I feel completely lost because I don't know how I'm supposed to feel or act or think at the moment and I know that's not the way I should be thinking, that there isn't a particular way I'm supposed to be inside, but... I still have the paranoia and the gut feeling that I'm doing wrong by being myself, so to speak. I don't even really know how to explain it so I'm sorry if none of this is making any sense, I'm just hoping someone else out there may be able to relate and understand what I'm talking about... I've tried breaking free of it repeatedly, just relaxing and being myself, but it's always followed by a major guilt complex *especially if it involves someone reacting negatively* that causes me to fall into a huge depression and self hate that often causes me to physically harm myself because I think I deserve "punishment."
My boyfriend says that me growing up in the JWs is no different from him growing up in a Southern Baptist home and that the reason why I haven't recovered from this is because I wallow in it and feel sorry for myself. But I feel bad for even feeling sorry for myself so I don't do it, because I know other people have been through worse than me, like him, and it's selfish of me to feel sorry for myself when others have been through worse... I've tried to just move on and forget about and be myself, but somehow I just find myself falling into the same pattern over and over again... right now I'm in my first relationship I've had that wasn't with a controlling guy because I constantly find myself going for people that can tell me how I should be and order me around and will punish me when I'm not the way they think I should be or don't do what they tell me to do. That or I throw myself into a job and no matter how much I may be stepped on go on until I have a nervous breakdown one day and don't get out of bed to go to work then only to feel even more worthless when I lose the job. I'm trying so hard to just let everything go and be myself, and even though at times I forget I was ever a JW I still... show the same pattern... I break free happily only to hate myself and feel guilty for breaking free and even more for being happy when I did it and punish myself and go back into my submissive shell... and as time goes by the depression gets worse and worse, and I withdraw from people more and more, as in... I'm always in a shell, I never show my feelings or opinions to people and I don't really have any friends to speak of, just people that come to me when they need a shoulder but that I never hang out with or really express myself to, and I don't do alot of things *like hobbies* because I don't feel like I can do them, I don't feel like I can do much of anything or am worth much to anyone or even deserve to be worth much to anyone. I can't even talk to people half the time, people I know and people I don't know, because I just... panic. As time goes by I feel more and more like I'm watching someone else and get more and more tired of the show... most the time all I want to do is sleep so I can be away from it all.
I'm sorry this post ended up so long, but I just need to know if he's right and I'm just feeling sorry for myself and I should be fully recovered by now or if it's ok to not be over it yet. And if it is ok for me not to be over it yet, could someone give me some suggestions on how to explain this all to him?