Posts by anewlife

5

August KM--Could someone share with me.

by anewlife in

i understand the august km has a little part about how df'd ones should be treated.

i'd like to read it.

i've been df'd for 2+ years now and i heard through my sister that my mother is wanting to contact me, but she's having "trouble" with the decision.

anewlife

I understand the August KM has a little part about how DF'd ones should be treated. I'd like to read it.

I've been DF'd for 2+ years now and I heard through my sister that my mother is wanting to contact me, but she's having "trouble" with the decision. She told my sister that she was going to read up on it again to see how perhaps she could "get around it" as I'm her daughter and not just a friend.

So, if someone could please copy it for me or send it to me via e-mail, I'd be very greatful. I'd like to know exactly what it is my mom will read.

Thank you!

32

Excluded. How did/does exclusion make you feel?

by Celtic in

jw
friends

many of you have felt at the sharp end, quite particularly so, social exclusion.

emotionally, how did it make you feel?

celtic mark - cornwall uk

anewlife

(((((((((((((((((Kat7032))))))))))))))))) to you too!

I, too, have had to address this in counseling. Believe me, it eventually helps and it gets better. Focus on your children's happiness, but take time for yourself. Now is YOUR time to have a life. You now longer have to answer to anyone and once you really, truly realize that, I promise you, you'll feel even better!

Cheryl - anewlife

32

Excluded. How did/does exclusion make you feel?

by Celtic in

jw
friends

many of you have felt at the sharp end, quite particularly so, social exclusion.

emotionally, how did it make you feel?

celtic mark - cornwall uk

anewlife

Been DF'd for a little over 2 years now.

I was there for the announcement as it was "what I should do." (Still trying to please the unpleasable!) I continued for about 6 weeks being at EVERY meeting, taking the rejection, the eye contact avoidance, the whispering. Finally after 6 weeks of this....I went home and had a good long cry and asked myself, "What the hell am I putting myself through this for? They've already done everything they could possibly do to me and STILL I'll never measure up even if they ever reinstate me!" So I QUIT!!! I told myself that's it....NO MORE! I can tell you, literally, this HUGE LOAD AND BURDEN, was off my shoulders...no kidding. I could actually feel the weight come right off. Every night previously my neck and shoulders would ache and I'd wake up in pain. It has now been gone for two years! AMAZING, don't you think!

For the first year and a half running into someone in a store or something was very painful I admit. I'd walk away and think about it for hours, sometimes days. Now, I either look at it one of two ways...depending on the individual. Either they're just so brainwashed by the Society that they have no control over their own thoughts and feelings or they're just putting themselves in an elevated position to make themselves feel better about where they are in life. Either way, it's their loss, because I'm the happy one and will NEVER go back!

BUGS: I had a dear friend who was DF'd one year prior to me. I did the typical shunning of her even before the announcement was made and she had even done anything other than decide she didn't want to be a part of it anymore and wanted out of her marriage to a ministerial servant. When I chose my course, I immediately contacted her. She welcomed me with open arms and a huge hug without one word of judgement or condemnation. We've been closer than ever ever since!! (I apologized to her immediately for my behavior and all she said was, "don't worry about it, I did it to others too before I was DF'd and I understand." ) What a TRUE friend. We're now more like sisters. She's ShaunaC on the forum and was the one who brought me to everyone here.....NOW THAT'S A REAL FRIEND.

35

Puffs Weekday Poll #1

by teenyuck in

jw
friends

ozzie has his, now i would like to get some information on all my apostate friends.

i will be conducting weekday polls and posting the tallies.

thank you in advance for your participation!

anewlife

Beck: I could totally picture you in the morning with your description. It was great! Your morning sounds a lot like mine when the kids are in school. It's summer vacation right now still.

So here's what I do in the summer:

Head straight for the bathroom. Even though I probably got up twice during the night...it never fails...I've got to go again...definitely sitting, (we females don't have the luxery of standing!)

Take shower.

Blow dry hair.

Get dressed.

Let my cat out (or in if she decided to stay out all night).

Go into kitchen...sometimes get a bowl or cup of cereal and take it back into the bathroom with me because I'm always in a hurry.

Finish makeup and curl hair (if needed).

Back to kitchen where I can't stand the mess my sons have made the night before after I went to sleep and start picking up dishes and throwing away food wrappers etc.

Head for car about 8:30 to get to work by 8:45 so I can get myself a cup of coffee, which is already made by another coworker, before starting the day at 9:00. Coffee: 1 cup, flavored creamer w/1 tsp sugar.

During school time....day starts much earlier and my morning sounds a lot like Beck's! LOL

9

field service when df'd?

by teejay in

from what i've read (and heard) over the years, the society says you can.

you can even go up to the literature and magazine counter and get your weekly allotment and the brothers at the counter will treat you like everybody else.. i hafta say... when i was df'd, i never did.

the thought never occurred to me.

anewlife

I was DF'd two years ago and one of the "stipulations" for getting reinstated would be to go out in service. I said, "I thought you weren't able to do that because A DF"d person's conduct was unchristian and they displayed an unrepentant attitude, thereby the DF announcement?" They told me that by going out in service I would be showing repentence for my wrongdoing. I should continue to turn in my "time," but it would not be counted in the congregation totals nor sent to the Society. I was annoyed, needless to say, as I was looking forward to not having to go knocking on doors as I always hated doing it anyway. Well....I never did. In fact, I continued attending meetings for about 6 weeks after I was DF'd and then I asked myself, "What the hell am I putting myself through this for! This is NOT where I want to be anymore." So I left.....NEVER TO GO BACK!!!

45

We Disassociated Ourselves Tonite!!!

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

local elder called tonite, with a witness on the phone to ask if it is true we were smoking ?

we said yes, and we know who told on us.

it was a ms who was at the club just last week with another woman, not his wife of course, while she was at the meeting.

anewlife

(((((((Lying Eyes & Wild Turkey))))))

Way to go! Welcome to new found freedom!! Just the joy of not constantly looking over your shoulder to see who might see you is freedom!

I love the Xmas remark about the biggest damn tree ever...My sons and I had the biggest damn tree ever this last December....in fact, it touched the ceiling enough to where it bent a little. We were so proud of it, we left it that way!

Enjoy your new life!

Cheryl

102

Where are you ?

by sunshineToo in

jw
friends

.

in which part of the planet are you?

i'm in the sf bay area, ca, u.s.a. i have been there for 17 years.. how about you?

anewlife

Zanex and Crazy Drinker: I'm from Fresno, CA USA too. I wonder if we know each other. I'm sure we know mutual people. You can e-mail me if you'd like.

28

Why do they go back?

by zenpunk in

jw
friends

i always hear at least two stories a year about someone i know who's left the "truth" goes back despite the trauma surrounding their departure.

this morning i heard yet another story.

a few years ago and elder's wife in my former uk congregation abruptly left the organization, surprising everyone and getting a big df in the process.

anewlife

I completely understand your question....why do they go back. My thoughts on the matter are that, like you mentioned, they don't have a strong enough support system out of the organization. The question to ask is, What was their relationship with fellow witnesses when they were in the borg? Did they have some 'need' (usually emotional) that was met while a JW? If this is the case, as I believe a lot of dysfunctional people grab hold of the whole JW line of thinking and the 'family aspect' and 'sense of belonging' theory, this would be their reason for going back. They often have this 'need' to be met and because the organization was once 'comfort' to them, they give up hope outside the organization and 'fall' back into the JW line of thinking. When you think about it...it's a pretty good brainwashing job they do on people....it goes so far as to reel a lot of them back in if they don't 'cleanse' their minds while they're away. Another question is, How bad did they really want out when they left? If this was just an act of temporary rebellion or laziness as simply not wanting to attend, then this too will also pull them back in.

I keep myself in check periodically and ask myself these questions so I will know if I'm truly 'cleansing' my mind of the years of brainwashing so I don't get caught back up in it again.

anewlife....and so far....a better one!

23

Surgery for your child and the blood issue

by anewlife in

jw
friends

monday morning my 14 y/o son was having severe abdominal pain in the lower right abdomen...diagnosis....appendicitis.

needless to say an emergency appendectomy was performed.

all went very well as they did the procedure laparoscopicly and therefore he went home in 24 hours and is recovering nicely.. my question/thought to others is this: i was df'd 2 years ago.

anewlife

Balsam: A special hug for you...I also have three boys and can't imagine what life would be like without one of them. My heart hurts for you!!! ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Big Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Cheryl/anewlife

23

Surgery for your child and the blood issue

by anewlife in

jw
friends

monday morning my 14 y/o son was having severe abdominal pain in the lower right abdomen...diagnosis....appendicitis.

needless to say an emergency appendectomy was performed.

all went very well as they did the procedure laparoscopicly and therefore he went home in 24 hours and is recovering nicely.. my question/thought to others is this: i was df'd 2 years ago.

anewlife

Thank you again everyone! Hugs right back to all of you.

Shauna: I forgot about that letter your mom wrote. That's right....Again she DID NOT, DOES NOT know the whole story but was able to sit back and judge. How sad for her. The even sadder part for her is I KNOW HER DAUGHTER and have a RELATIONSHIP with her and SHE DOES NOT because of her 'blindness!'

Love you lots sis!

Cheryl