Posts by Incognito

28

Solicitors Visit Update

by pale.emperor in

in case you're not aware of my last two threads:.

the situation that arose in that my mother has been having secret access to my daughter and refusing to tell me how she is: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5012900121935872/am-overreacting-here.

the build up to my solicitors visit: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/6284953638666240/solicitors-appontment-tomorrow-advice-appreciated.

Incognito

Congratulations on obtaining the advice you need in your legal standing, and for getting your wife to agree that visitation with your mother and sister must now be arranged through you.

As you have control and authority, suggest as conditions for your mother, her husband and your sister to continue visitation, the time:

Shall not involve religious discussion, instruction, or influence
Shall not involve attendance at kingdom hall or other JW functions
Shall not involve discussion regarding your or your exes lack of attendance at meetings, acceptability to God or the organization, or your personal relationships with others
Shall not include discussion or opinions regarding holidays, birthdays and other celebrations
Shall not include discussion or opinions regarding activities you or your ex have arranged for you daughter to attend or participate in
You are to be consulted before they remove your daughter from their premises
You are to be immediately notified upon any injury or incident

27

Solicitors Appontment Tomorrow - Advice Appreciated

by pale.emperor in

following up on this thread: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5012900121935872/am-overreacting-here?page=3#!#5179106934128640.

im seeing my solicitor tomorrow to see about getting an order in place making sure any contact my daughter has with my jw family goes through me and not my ex-wife.. explained the situation briefly to the lawyer, she was asking more and more about why should i be concerned if a jw had access to my child.. i mentioned the blood issue, the shunning, the inappropriate pictures of armageddon in books/mags etc.

do you think i should bring in watchtower literature to show them what i mean?

Incognito

As mentioned, document everything, even items you may not initially consider to be relevant. Documentation should include dates and times, who said what, how they said it (face-to-face, telephone, text etc) and a brief reminder of why you had a concern.

Legal standings rely on facts. Uncertainty such as 'I think' and 'maybe' hold little weight whereas written records and other proof only serve to support your position. Show the lawyer evidence of WT images which support your concern. A major part of a lawyer's job is to advise you as the client, things that may be relevant and supportive to the action you are considering.

34

Am I Overreacting Here?

by pale.emperor in

let's call him "dave".. dave: hello?.

dave: we dont have to tell you how she is.

dave: <her mother> has custody.

Incognito

Your mother and sister being rude cult followers is painful and very annoying, but seems not really relevant for the question at hand.

The problem being, the behavior of the mother, her husband and Pale's sister, sets an example for Pale's child. Allowing that behaviour to continue, then indicates that behaviour is correct, justified and acceptable, and so how long will it take before the child starts to treat Pale in a similar manner?

Rules of behaviour need to be established now, not after a problem develops. The child's welfare rests with both parents, not the grandparents or Aunt. Both parents need to agree to work together in the interest of the child regardless of their relationship with each other.

The blood issue is a valid concern as JW's typically consider their actions as being what God requires. If the child had an accident while in the care of the Grandmother or Sister, and if blood was required, would the GrandM or sister inform the parents of required treatment or would they act to prohibit blood as a method for the child to have God's favour?

While Pale understandably wants his child to have a relationship with his family, that should not occur at the expense of his relationship with his child or at the risk of the child's welfare.

52

Boyfriend force me to study the bible or no marriage

by MuslimWoman in

my boyfriend, who is a disfellowshipped jehova's witness, asks me to study the bible for 3 months or he won't marry me (i'm a muslim woman).

he loves me and really wants to marry me but he is doing a passive blackmailing: if i don't study for 3 months, 1 time per week, in my home country, and without him, there will be no marriage... as a muslim, i believe the bible is god's word so i look at the bible from time to time and would be happy to study with him.

but the fact that he is kind of saying "study the bible or bye bye no marriage" is really hurtful.

Incognito

people in this forum are just haters that are not strong enough to be a JW help by Jehovah.

I would say, from numerous years of experience here, most of us are strong enough to accept the reality that the JW religion is not chosen by God but is just another man-made organization that claims to speak for God.

Most discussions here do not reflect hatred of individual JW's or JW's as a group but do express disgust and hatred for the organization that supports hatred of anyone not a JW and that continues to support mistreatment of even active JW's and that also supports the ongoing sexual abuse of children by members of JW congregations.

His reaction only further shows his continued indoctrination.

52

Boyfriend force me to study the bible or no marriage

by MuslimWoman in

my boyfriend, who is a disfellowshipped jehova's witness, asks me to study the bible for 3 months or he won't marry me (i'm a muslim woman).

he loves me and really wants to marry me but he is doing a passive blackmailing: if i don't study for 3 months, 1 time per week, in my home country, and without him, there will be no marriage... as a muslim, i believe the bible is god's word so i look at the bible from time to time and would be happy to study with him.

but the fact that he is kind of saying "study the bible or bye bye no marriage" is really hurtful.

Incognito

Welcome MuslimWoman!

It is smart of you to recognize something is not correct in your relationship and for you to come here to ask questions of people with experience and who will answer honestly. While not truly an ex-JW forum (everyone including active JWs are welcome), most forum participants are ex-JWs.

Although your boyfriend only asks for you to 'study the bible' (it will actually be Watchtower publications) for three months, his conditions will continue to increase and eventually require you to preach to others and become baptised yourself as a full fledged JW.

Even as a disfellowshipped person may not have attended JW meetings in years, many continue to hold on to a belief the JW religion is the only true religion approved by God. While they may have physically left the JW religion, the religion hasn't left them.

Until he realizes himself that religion is untrue and not chosen by God, and then decides to leave it, he will likely not be persuaded by anything you or anyone else says. If you attempt to influence his allegiance to that religion, he will probably resent you for your attempts, which may result in him being more resolved to return faster and more strongly than he would have otherwise.

Relationships within the JW religion are not just between the two people involved, but also includes the WT organization. As a wife, your needs will come third place, after his own and the organization's rules and requirements.

As previously implied, find a new potential partner who will place you above everything else including himself.

45

Personal opinions spouted from the platform?

by purrpurr in

have you ever heard some brothers own ideas and opinions spouted from the platform?

perhaps off brand or crazy ones?

some that i've heard is:.

Incognito

But the old expression is so true, especially about JW elders or even WT leaders themselves that " opinions are like assholes - everybody has one . " - Flipper

And many opinions, just like assholes, usually STINK.

13

Australian States & Territories Fail to Sign Up on a Redress Scheme For Victims of Child Sexual Abuse.

by smiddy3 in

at a recent coag {,council of australian governments} meeting the subject/issue of states & territories to sign up for a national redress scheme to compensate victims of institutional abuse sexual and otherwise fell on deaf ears.. not one state or territory agreed to sign up .

not one.. i am sure the victims of child sexual abuse within various institutions not only the jehovah`s witnesses victims would be very disheartened to learn that.individual states and territories of government within australia do not support a national redress scheme to compensate victims of child sexual abuse .. the south australian govt.

to my understanding is they will never do so .

Incognito

What did victims do previously?

If the Australian government or its states are not supportive to a consistent method to compensate victims, then it appears individual victims will have little option but to continue pursuing individual court litigation.

9

Verify: latest elder book

by Gorbatchov in

jw
friends

for research i want to verify this:.

- has the latest version of the elder book (recent) a new text about child abuse and put aside the 2 witness rule in these cases?.

need to clarify.. g..

Incognito

To my understanding, for the elders to proceed to contact WT legal dept for direction on what to do, there needs to be 2 witnesses to the same act, OR at least 2 separate acts involving 2 separate victims who each accuse the same person, OR there needs to be an admission from the accused.

If only one victim makes an accusation against another JW, the elder's 'investigation' likely amounts to meeting with the accused and asking if he/she did the thing they are being accused of doing. If the answer is 'No', then the matter is dropped and the accuser is warned not to mention it further.

39

a question after my first JW meeting

by bleak in

i attended my first jw meeting recently.

first, i would like to say what i agree with about the jehovah's witnesses beliefs and practices.. 1. they don't consider israeli's as "god's chosen people" and they don't worship israel as some holy land filled with righteous jews (although there are some there) as most so-called "christians" (christian zionists) erroneously believe they are instead of the "hypocrites" and "vipers" that it is actually filled with.. 2. they don't celebrate "holidays" like easter and christmas which are, in fact, remnants of earlier pagan practices.. 3. they don't put nation before god and christ.

they don't believe in war or going to war because of some crazy government/cia secret agenda.

Incognito

Bleak,

Welcome! Glad to see you are looking at the religion with open eyes, and investigating from different angles. Research and knowledge is good but JWs try to discourage that and claim the only research (study) needing to be done and knowledge required is from using WatchTower literature.

You mention about JWs knowing their bible. You had it right in saying 'their' Bible as it is unique in subtle ways from other bibles. There is actually more focus placed on WT literature than the bible, with out of context scriptures often referenced to support the interpretation. WT literature is how the interpretation of the bible is conveyed. All JWs are expected to understand and believe the same way. Independent thinking and viewpoints are not tolerated.

40

What would you say?

by Freedom rocks in

if you had 2 minutes with an old witness friend or with a family member to convince them the 'truth' is a lie and the gb isnt being directed by god what would you say to get their attention that might make them question their beliefs?.

Incognito

Although this doesn't address the OP's question, I consider this is related to the topic.

In addition to other control tactics, another thing that was 'instilled' in us as JWs, is a belief we are responsible for changing other people's religion and beliefs.

As JWs, we were convinced to preach to others to convert them to become JWs as 'the truth' to save them. We were warned we would be held blood-guilty by God if we didn't participate in that 'life-saving' work.

As we find it unwelcome when JWs attempt to preach and attempt to get us to return to the religion, likewise JWs reject attempts to influence them to change their beliefs.

Now as exJWs, it seems we often feel it is our duty to convert JWs into becoming exJWs. If they are happy in what they believe, should we then allow them to practice their beliefs as they wish?