As I explained in my first thread I left when I was 18, but first started doubting at the age of 11, after a specific incident. I'd like to tell that story now. Sorry if it seems long-winded, but I've only just been dealing with this one, and I've been carrying it round for 20 years. But here goes...
Picture the scene: An April Saturday afternoon, just after the end of the special assembly day programme. My congregation was on the rota for assembly-hall cleaning and our car-group was driven by Brother Super-Elder, so we were all in for an extra hard dose of scrubbing. Great fun for the 11 year old nevergotwet!
Before beginning my bout of cleaning, I needed to ?use the lovingly-provided facilities?. So I excused myself from the group and made my way to the men's room.
As I was just finishing off, the door swung open, and in staggered a man, almost on the point of collapse, made it to the basin, where he was taken extremely ill. This man was clearly in need of medical help, and I did not know what to do. My first thought was find someone who does. So being one of ?Jehovah's little helpers? I thought: ?I know, I'll go and tell an elder, he'll know what to do."
I was panicked by this man's difficulties, but as I exit the men's room, I spot someone who took one of the assembly parts that afternoon. Knowing that he was more than likely an elder, I approached him.
I said to him that there was a man in the toilet, that he was very ill and needed first aid.
The ?loving shepherd? replies: ?can't you see I'm busy!?
I cried with panic and worry and went to find my mum, who was tucked away in the depths of the hall. I never told her about this, I was too upset.
I often think about that man and whether he got the help he needed ? and sometimes I think maybe I could have done more to aid him.
After that experience, I never looked at elders in the same light again. I was scared of them after that (strangely, even after I left), but now I just feel contempt.
Thanks for letting me vent.
