Posts by confuzzlediam

6

A Renewed Friendship After 10 Years

by confuzzlediam in

jw
friends

a little background first....i have been dating my boyfriend for a year.

both of us are disfellowshipped.

we attended the same congregation 7+ years ago when we were both married.

confuzzlediam

Thanks for reading it through and responding!! That is SO very true!! I hadn't thought of it that way. One of the reasons I am so excited about this is because they have a former friendship in common in addition to a former belief system. Both together will hopefully strengthen their bond!

6

A Renewed Friendship After 10 Years

by confuzzlediam in

jw
friends

a little background first....i have been dating my boyfriend for a year.

both of us are disfellowshipped.

we attended the same congregation 7+ years ago when we were both married.

confuzzlediam

A little background first....I have been dating my boyfriend for a year. Both of us are disfellowshipped. We attended the same congregation 7+ years ago when we were both married. He ended up divorcing his then wife, then getting disfellowshipped some time after. He would attend meetings once in a while after that, but stopped going all together.

Fast forward to a year ago. I had recently (three months prior) left my husband of 25 years and had joined an online dating site for shits and giggles. Within a week or 2 of joining the site, I found him and messaged him to say hello. We met up that night as I had a fire going in my back yard and ended up talking till 3am. We have not stopped talking since!! BTW...I had always had a small crush on him, but of course i kept that to myself, because we were both married.

Since we have started dating, he has mentioned to me that he really doesn't have any guy friends that he can talk to or hang out with. There are a few at work that he talks to and has gone out once with one of them. I have a small group of friends (4 of us total) that plan to get together once a month or so for a girls night out. Last Saturday was my girls night out. We all got tattoos!! It was a blast! The next morning, my boyfriend mentioned that he needed to find a friend that he could hang out with and that he missed his best friend from years ago because they just got each other. Something he has mentioned on and off since we started dating.

WELL....later that morning, he received an email from that friend, whom he had not spoken to for about 10 years!!! WOW!!! I was SO excited that he was wanting to get in touch with my boyfriend! How crazy we were just talking about him needing to find a friend AND talking about this particular friend and how much he missed their friendship!!! His friend left his phone number saying he would like to talk. My boyfriend ended up calling him and they talked for close to two hours!!

My boyfriend still holds on to some, not all, of the JW beliefs. I don't question his beliefs, but make sure I am clear with mine. While he was talking to his friend, who had recently been disfellowshipped, his friend started talking about the things he was finding out about the WTS!! My heart was full and I couldn't help but think that maybe his friend would help him see the BS that the society is filled with and maybe change his mind about some things. IF there is a God...which I am sometimes doubtful, then this friend was a God send to my boyfriend. It makes my heart happy to see him and his best friend reunited!!! I look forward to them talking more and getting together with each other. When my boyfriend talks about his friend, he has a smile on his face and that means the world to me.

Thanks for sticking around and reading this far! I know this was a long post, but I don't have many I can talk to about this who would understand why this means SO SO much to me on different levels!!

MAYBE this friend is on this site and reads my post... If so... thank you for reaching out!! As I said earlier, it means the world to me to see my boyfriend happy to have connected with you once again!

9

watchtower not following 1st and second commandment because they are ostrasizing and shunning fellow humans

by poopie in

jw
friends

shunning violates the law of love that is principled love agape.

you can never justify shunning another human made in gods image no human has the god given right to completely shun another human by giving them the silent treatment.

its also a form of bullying which the watchtower condems on its own website.

confuzzlediam

Yes, it goes against everything we are taught Jehovah and Jesus to be, that is showing unconditional love for one another and showing forgiveness towards one another as we have been freely forgiven by Him. Unfortunately, they see it as an act of love for the brother or sister who has been disfellowshipped. By shunning, love is shown by not talking to them to bring them back to Jehovah thus ultimately saving their lives.

24

What are the current rules about vaping from the GB?

by purrpurr in

jw
friends

i mean e cigs and vaping.

not even tobacco inhaling but inhaling other stuff like herbs etc.

is this allowed?

confuzzlediam

"electronic cigarettes that contain nicotine"

SO does this mean that one could vape with NO nicotine in it? Or would that be considered as "other products"?

My guess is vaping, even with no nicotine, would be a no no. Possibly because they would say that it could lead to using nicotine in the vape OR could lead to smoking cigarettes OR as Punkofnice pointed out lead to other sins! There is also debate on whether or not vaping is even much better than smoking as you are still inhaling something into the lungs, which could be considered a defilement of the flesh. Not to mention it would be doing something that those in the "world" do, so would want to stay away from it.

My son vapes and I smoke. I have not done much research on vaping, but am not convinced it is a whole lot safer than smoking. Still inhaling a substance into the lungs. BUT we do it anyways...

44

How do you manage to keep JW friendships after you left the organization?

by Bonsai in

jw
friends

it seems incredibly difficult.

those who leave the org.

(or fade) no longer have anything in common with jehovah's witnesses, nor do they want to stick around to get radiated by the fear and guilt that saturates every aspect of a witnesses' life.. i've lost all but one of my jw friends quite simply because i can no longer condone the evil things that they condone.

confuzzlediam

I was disfellowshipped 5 1/2 years ago. All but one of my JW "friends" stopped talking to me. The one who would still talk to me and get together with me was a family member on my soon to be x husband's side. Even then, we don't talk very often. She and her daughter are on my facebook, but I privately message them if I have something to say about their post, because I don't want them to get into trouble from family and from the org for still having anything to do with me. I know that my friendship with her will never be what it was, but I can live with that. We don't talk about religion, with the exception of when I tell her she just needs to come over to the dark side with me and get disfellowshipped!! LOL I know that she has a LOT of issues with how those in the congregation act, she sees the hypocrisy, but she still believes in the core beliefs and is unwilling to look into the false teachings that she holds as truth.

It makes me very sad for her because she has no friends in the "truth". Her only friends were myself and my x-SIL and we are both disfellowshipped. When her youngest daughter (who is active and married another JW) got married a few months ago, very few attended the bridal shower or her wedding and it broke her heart. If my x-SIL and myself were still in, we would have done all of the planning and helped with both the shower and the wedding.

I don't know what to tell you to do to keep your last JW friendship. Maybe hanging by a thread, as I am with my friend, is the only way you will be able to keep them. I'm ok with it...for the most part. I would be heartbroken if what we have left would come to an end. SO I take what I can get from her and hope that one day she will see the org for what it is and leave. Until then...it is what it is and I'm ok with it.

39

Jehovah's Witness woman refuses blood, then dies.

by Lee Elder in

another jehovah's witness woman has died while giving birth due to massive blood loss and refusing a blood transfusion.

she leaves nine children behind.

she finally consented to the transfusion but it was too late to save her.

confuzzlediam

This is so heartbreaking to me. But sadly, I would have done the same while I was in the org as I thought it was disgusting to take another human's blood into my body (after years of being told about all of the disease that could be in tainted blood). About a year or so before I was disfellowshipped, there was a young brother in the cong. (about 22) that lost his life due to a bleeding ulcer. I remember going into the room and seeing his pale, wax like skin that had lost all blood flow to it, shortly before he died. Walking out of the hospital with his mother was something that I'll never forget. How she had the strength to walk out of that hospital without her son, all because they refused a blood transfusion, i don't know. After his death, she had a hard time even driving past the hospital where he died.

I think about it now and the hospital did EVERYTHING they could, besides force a blood transfusion, to save his life. The nurses were devastated when his mom just sat there and watched the blood flow out of his body into a bag on the side of the bed. I would NEVER sit back and watch my child die if there was something as simple as a blood transfusion that could save their lives. SO happy they disfellowshipped me and I was able to see the light finally!!

18

Undue influence - other areas in life

by DavidG in

jw
friends

after gradually waking up to ttatt im finding myself with this question:.

since it is so easy to be indoctrinated with jw beliefs, are there other areas in my life where i'm also under influance of other false beliefs?

from the culture i've grown up with, school etc?.

confuzzlediam

Phizzy and StrongHaiku I just completed a Critical Reasoning class at my community college. I had NO idea what I was getting myself into when I signed up for the class. All I can say is I wish EVERYONE could take this class. My teacher told us that it would be one of the most difficult/challenging classes we would take and she was NOT lying!! But she also told us that by the end of the course, we would NEVER think the same again and she was correct!! I busted my ass in that class and achieved an A, which not many in the class were able to achieve.

I have a hard time explaining what it has taught me, other than I am now open to fallacies, bad arguments and can actually decipher bullsh*t now! lol In the beginning of the class she had us read the Allegory of the Cave and my upbringing as a witness all came to light after reading it. It was like this HUGE aha moment for me and I realized that I lived 39 years of my life in that cave, in the darkness. We are taught that the WT has the light and those outside of it live in darkness. WELL after reading it, I realized that I had been living in the dark, only seeing the shadows for what I was told they were. It was not until I was df'd did I begin to see the light!!

I have to say that while I can be fairly gullible, believing much of what I hear or see to be true, I have also begun really questioning everything and thinking for myself. I too wondered because I fell for so long of what the WT had to say, did I do that with other things in my life. I have to say that yes, I believe I did. Doesn't everyone to a certain extent? Believe till proven otherwise?

Going to watch the TED talk!! Thanks for the link!

11

I may have a friend

by Defianttruth in

jw
friends

okay, i am almost forty and outside of my wife i haven't had a friend in decades.

sure i have tons of people with whom i am friendly towards, but they all share something to do with work or business.

i remember thinking last year i had no one who called just to talk.

confuzzlediam

This is awesome!! Everyone needs someone whom they can share things in common with. SO glad you found someone who shares a common interest with and can talk to!!

12

How many of us stayed in the organization longer than necessary for these other reasons?

by John Aquila in

confuzzlediam

After I was disfellowshipped, I made 4-5 attempts at getting reinstated over about 4 years. I did this because my now X still believed and wanted me to get reinstated so he would not have to go to family functions or cong. functions by himself. He grew up with a mom who was disfellowshipped and his dad was always alone at functions outside of the meetings. My X was angry with his mom for years because she put his dad through that and in turn he would get mad at me because he was going through the same thing.

I went on anti-depressants and meds for anxiety just to attend meetings. I always made it for about 3-4 months at a time, then would stop going for one reason or another. My last effort was two months before I left him. After I left, he ended up getting involved with a non-witness and is now living the same lifestyle that I am, only not DF'd as of yet. He just stopped going to meetings. I begged him for almost 4 years to stop going and make new friends with me. He wasn't regular anyways. But it took me leaving his ass for him to see things in a different light.

Oh well...