Posts by CeriseRose

I'm so happy for you! Big moves are stressful and challenging, but I think change is healthy and positive. And if you are surrounded by that much nostalgia and not much of it good, then this couldn't be more positive.

And Hawaii! I'm so jealous I'm turning green as we speak. Call me Kermit!

Edited to add: BTW if you end up in a grass skirt, we demand pictures!

112

JWD ....the opium of the Ex ?

by ScoobySnax in

jw
friends

marx reckoned religion was the opium of the people, i'm no marx, but i reckon jwd has become the opium of the exjws.

it satisfies a need, gives one a purpose, feels someone with a greater sense of purpose, trys to give one a purpose and reason for being here, and very closely becomes a "religion" of sorts to many.

many here claim they stay to help others out of the wbts, where in fact i think they stay because it has become their new "opium" its a focal point they can meet with like minded individuals to further their own new "belief".

CeriseRose

It's not always what you say but how you say it.

I've read this entire thread. Scooby spoke in generalizations, sweeping terms that encompassed everyone with his opinion with no apparent allowance for anyone being different. Minimus spoke and wrote into his post allowances for those who may be in different places. Same subject, different angle. As for the rules being like the WTS, well I can shut off my pc and not be held to these rules; as a JW I was bound to them 24x7 and if I chose not to follow them, was under life penalties. Not quite the same.

Scoob is stuck on a theme, one of this board and the 'necessity' of it. Without delving too deeply, as I don't really know him, I'm guessing that there's a part of Scoob that needs to be here and he's not comfortable with that. When someone isn't comfortable, they can be more vitriolic in their words and mode of 'attack.' Not to be mean, but some of Scoob's posts remind me of a kid on a playgrond who got picked last. I hear a lot of hurt in his posts, and that can't be easy to deal with, if he is actually dealing (again, others think not, I don't know him that well to judge, and I don't like judging anyway...)

That being said, not everyone is addicted to this board. Some people *may* be, but no one can decide that but themselves. Like any other internet board, there are groups who are on longer, more history etc. I wish I had been in Texas longer than an airport stop the weekend of the Apostafest there...it would have been nice to meet some of the posters. Because I didn't, though, I don't feel like I've been excluded. There are those who see each other more often, and have more time and history together. As far as being 'clique-ish', I believe that was an open invite Apostafest. There's one near Scoob and so he has the opportunity to join in, if he cares to. However, if you decide not to, thumbing your nose at those who do will get you precisely nowhere if you really want to 'integrate,' which you may or may not want to do, or even know if you want to do.

I still choose when and if I come here, how much time I spend posting, etc. Yes, leaving the JWs left a gap...shunned by family and friends, it's important for me to maintain a social connection somewhere. I have a social anxiety disorder, making it more than difficult to go out and make friends 'cold.' Here I can come, express my frustration, sadness, anger, happiness, joy, etc. to people who understand on some level. I've been accepted and accept those here on the basis that we've all come through a shared experience, no more, no less. When I'm overwhelmed, I can leave.

On a side note, if the point of the thread was sour grapes over the sanctions imposed against him and Minimus, why not make it the point? Instead of making generalizations and an observation that Scoob had to know giving past history would create a stir? Note I said "if" the point was that. I really don't know; I've pretty much given up seriously trying to figure out other people's motivations.

11

Bankcard-terminal in district assembly hall for donation WTS

by Ozner in

jw
friends

dear friends,.

as i posted in an other category on this board http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/11/73036/1.ashx the wts has installed a bankcard/creditcard-terminal in their district assembly halls in the netherlands.

i want to know your opinion about this.

CeriseRose

Didn't Jesus throw out the money changers in the Temple? Oh, I know it wasn't for just being there, but for their extortion. Considering what most banks charge in services fees though, I think a case could be made...

6

Relationships because of the WTS............thoughts on Fathers Day

by Sassy in

jw
friends

being that this is the first father's day since my 'quiting'.. i anxiously went to the local hallmark store to see about getting my dad a card at the very least.... i'm one of those people who never buy cards in advance to have handy just in case.

no, when i have a card i want to send someone, i will always go through every card in the store in the area i am interested in and find the perfect card to show my sentiments of the person i am sending it to.. .

my father was never a jw.. his father died when he was 13 years old and he and his brother quit school and worked the farm and got gas station jobs, so their mother could keep the farm.

CeriseRose

{{{{{{Sassy}}}}}}

Relationships can be so hard, even when they're not mixed in with a cult. I'm sorry your Dad wasn't able to respond to your needs, especially because of the religion, but I have to say I'm impressed that you keep trying. It takes a lot of chutzpah to keep trying when you meet a wall and I think you're doing great.

It can take just as long or longer to undo mistakes, and maybe once you're at a point with your family where you can, you can explain that you needed them whether you were a JW or not. That might help them realize that you are a person first and foremost.

I hope things work out, and quickly, for you.

49

When is it ok to have sex?

by Obviously Secret in

jw
friends

i always get different answers when i ask this question, or i get answers that contradict with the people givin the answer.

i ask this to various forums online and they all end up saying, when your ready and you know the conciquences.

however, that obviously doesn't work much or isn't the truth when so many little kids are getting pregnant and aids are everywhere and everything else.. so seriously.

CeriseRose

I think that if you're questioning your own decision making abilities then you aren't ready. I think that many teens and even young adults don't listen to their own minds or guidance and simply give in to peer pressure/what have you.

Growing up it wasn't cool to be a virgin. I was. Not from a lack of boyfriends, but because I simply wasn't comfortable with them to that degree. My feeling about sex is that is it deeply personal and intense and if I can't connect to someone on every other level like that, then I shouldn't be doing so on the physical level. (That's my personal feeling, I know many don't necessarily agree, and I can understand and even respect how others' view sex/making love.)

I joined the JWs at 21, a virgin. I felt ashamed, and backward, even with that as a safety net (I'm not 'allowed' to, and that's why). Some days I felt like I was wrapped in plastic wrap, sterile, untouchable. Those feelings can be really hard to deal with, especially when you're grappling with so many other emotions during adolescence.

I'm no longer a virgin (over the age of 30), and I'm not married. But I am in a committed, loving, mutually respectful relationship. I can talk to him about anything and everything, including all aspects of sexuality, disease, and possible repurcussions. For me, this was when I was ready, when I could be sure that he knew me as a person, we communicated and had a good relationship out of the bedroom, and that he would be there the next day and the next day after that. I'm glad I didn't give in to the 'left out' feelings I had for over 10 years, this is much more special and I can't imagine sharing this with someone simply for the sake of 'losing my virginity.' (I'm in an online gaming community where an 18 year old girl just lost her virginity for the sake of doing so, posted it to all her friends in her livejournal, and then within about a week, regretted it horribly.)

You sound like you know what you aren't ready for. I would suggest if you stay true to yourself and continue to listen to your own mind and not the pressures around you, even when it makes you feel awkward or bad, you'll be fine. And like so many have said, protect yourself physically, protect your partner as well. That's the responsible, and mature thing to do.

6

Ladysmith Black Mambazo.

by Englishman in

jw
friends

.

wow.. click on the link, select a clip and turn up the bass and volume.. http://www.mambazo.com/disc.html.

wow.. englishman.

CeriseRose

Oooh, I love them! First heard them on Graceland (Paul Simon), and then they were on Sesame Street. I was hooked. hehe

7

Just Another Day

by Farkel in

jw
friends

this very old thread of mine was resurrected for my friend onacruse.

it is being brought up to show him (he's a relatively newbie ex-dub) that some things just don't change.. some of the people in this thread have moved on, but the social dynamics are still the same.

people will always be people, good bad, or indifferent.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/16637/1.ashx.

CeriseRose

ROFLMAO...too funny!

Are you secretly writing for 'reality' shows? I felt like I was watching an episode of Survivor there. *cackle*

8

Lest We Forget...

by Englishman in

jw
friends

seems like a suitable time to post this.. englishman.

lest we forget..... .

poem by laurence binyon.

CeriseRose

I had a bit of a strange experience on my journey home. My boyfriend is a US citizen and an ex-Marine (discharged due to injury). I'm Canadian and never served in what passes for our armed forces (I'm sorry, but in comparison to other 'first world' nations, ours is really not a driving force if you know what I mean...).

Canadians, being relatively peaceful overall (plus with our small forces), tend to have not gotten involved in many conflicts during my lifetime. I've never thought heavily around war other than to know I don't like it (who does?). I know facts and figures (Dad was a WWII buff), and I like history so I have a good overall knowledge. I memorized "In Flander's Fields" as a child (it's still in my head today), and for the years I wasn't a JW, wore a poppy in and observed the 2 minutes of silence on Remembrance Day on November 11.

While driving me home a couple days ago, we passed a military convoy just south of Seattle. We were laughing because my honey has a convertible PT Cruiser and they must have radioed up the line that we were coming because we had heads swivelling in unison to look at it (it was either that or I was looking particularly good that day and I highly doubt that...hehe). My boyfriend commented that they must be heading to Bremerton to ship out to Iraq.

It was odd, because I'd seen military units in Canada, but never that large and never 'heading off to war.' I got a look at the faces of the men leaving their families behind. At my relatively tender age of 35, they looked barely old enough to -be- married, much less to be heading off to a place they could die.

I disagree with war. I disagree with a lot of the politics around going to war. But seeing them really hit home that regardless of my feelings around politics or war itself, the people that do believe and do go and fight should at the very least have the respect for doing so, especially since it comes at a personal cost, the least of which is separation from their families, the greatest their own mortality.

I feel ashamed at the years I didn't wear a poppy, and ignored those 2 minutes; I felt ashamed at the time of not doing it. I'm not going to ever forget that again.

15

What did you do with your Bible Studies?

by Nosferatu in

jw
friends

when you left the troof, what did you end up doing with any bible studies you had (if you had any)?

CeriseRose

The one I had was fairly unproductive. She was actually my only source of 'true' time the last while (i.e. if I didn't have her, I'd probably have been inactive). When I left, my JW friend asked me for her contact info, the intent was to get her studying in her own language (Mandarin). I wasn't so worried because a) she didn't want to study in Mandarin and b) she was extremely uncomfortable with strangers.

My dilemma now is I've been feeling horridly guilty for not talking to her directly once I left. It's been about 5 months and I keep thinking that I should. So I may drop by her work in the next little bit, or try to call when I think she might be home. I really did enjoy her company when we studied...it was more like a friendship.