catlady

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Posts by catlady

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  61

  Sometimes I Hate Being The Father Of Teenagers . . .

  by Corvin in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am a pretty liberal dad.

  i talk to my kids alot and openly about everything from sex to drugs .

  i always try to give them options and let them make their own decisions .

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  catlady

  I went to the Dead Poetics website & I quite the music! I'm actually sitting as I type letting it play in the background. I don't know, I just can't see the 'angriness' in it, I thought must have been at the wrong page. They're really just heavy rock, they're not even metal & I think it's more 'angst' than 'anger' in the music. Sure, most of the lyrics are about loss & sorrow but haven't most people been through that stage in their life where they're thinking 'oh cruel world', I think it is just a part of teenage angst.

  Guns n Rose, Nirvana, Sonic Youth, et al (who I was listening to as a teen) were way angrier but anger in music is not necessarily a bad thing. As other posters have mentioned, teens (& adults!) go through so many mood swings sometimes it helps to be able to express it through music. Also, I know that when I went through an incredibly bad time in my life (depression and bulimia) in my early 20's I listened obsessively to songs about depression, suicide, life sucking, etc but actually felt better for it because I'd think 'well, at least I'm not the only one, other people feel like this too'. I just felt so isolated so to hear songs about the stuff I was thinking in my head (and thinking I was crazy for thinking it) was reassuring.

  I was reading the lyrics of the Dead Poetics songs and I think these are quite pretty. Maybe you just walked in on a 'bad' song Corvin?

  BURY THE DIFFERENCEBury all the differences between us. When I still can't find the air,
  You keep the toxins flowing for me,
  And I'll bury all the differences between us.
  And I still can't help but care for moving mountains,
  But your, your head's held high again.
  
  You will find me out. You will find everything. We all, we just battle ourselves. We just battle ourselves again.
  Bury all the differences between us, that same mechanic sound.
  That keeps on ringing for days and days.
  And you're standing like a clueless titan falls.
  And everything around falls right down on you.
  With your head held high again.
  
  You will find me out. You will find everything. We all, we just battle ourselves. We just battle ourselves again.And there's a storm cloud waiting over,
  On the land that's sinking at the,
  At the bottom of these buildings again.
  With your head held high again.
  
  You will find me out. You will find everything. We all, we just battle ourselves. We just battle ourselves again.
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  157

  Where are you on the map? New Maps

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok there are so many americans on the map now i had to split you all in half.. valis was kind enough to let me place the maps on his website until i found a new home for them.. photobucket seems to be a good option - at least for now.

  so i have uploaded the new maps which have been updated to include everyone who has asked.. so if you were wondering where we are from.

  or how close you are to other jwd posters in your area just take a look.

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  catlady

  Hello Lady Lee

  I'm from Sydney, Australia

  Catlady
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  35

  what's your favority JW reference from a movie or TV ?

  by itsallgoodnow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  mine is from friday, the movie with ice cube, where a couple of jw ladies wake up ice cube's character's family one morning and there's some mouthing off, and you wouldn't believe the nasty words coming out of these sweet looking old "sisters".

  hilarious!.

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  catlady

  The Simpsons: Marge talking about how lonely she gets through the day

  "Last week some Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door and I wouldn't let them leave. They snuck away when I went into the kitchen to get more lemonade."
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  25

  Do Your Witness Relatives Want You To Be Happy?

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  or do they want the world to fall in around your ears so that you might "turn back to jehovah"?.

  do they think that if you had less happiness in life you would be driven back?.

  my mum once exclaimed very bitterly that i had "landed on my feet" too many times and that i would probably have been back at the kh if things hadn't gone so well in my life.. englishman.

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  catlady

  That's what I get so angry about with my partner's family. They really want him to suffer until he sees the 'Truth'. His absolute bitch of a sister yelled at him (in my presence), 'you'll never be happy if you're not a Witness, I know you, you'll be miserable until the day you die' and she sounded like she wanted that to happen!

  The rest of the family just refuse to talk to him at all - didn't even bother to make contact before he was DF'd when they knew it was going to happen. (Even though 3 weeks previous he'd been in a coma from a suicide attempt because of the Borg.)

  It makes me so angry, especially when the dubs call themselves 'christian' but behave in such unchristian like ways. So different from my totally non-religious family where there is always 100% support from them so matter how many times you f*** up!
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  76

  My heart has been broken in two -JW- HE IS MARRIED!!!

  by Karissa in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  my boyfriend and i (or i should say ex-boyfriend.

  ) have been dating for about 5 1/2 months.

  this is not a long time i know but within this time we had both fell deeply in love with each other, it was very fast and very strong, heartfelt and beautiful.

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  catlady

  Hi Karissa,

  I feel really bad for you & what you have gone through with this man. As much as I would love to blame it on the religion cult unfortunately infidelity occurs in all walks of life. However, being a Witness he has been taught how to manipulate & deceive with great skill. He may love you & want to have a life with you but is unable/unwilling to make that break from his marriage & cult. Perhaps for him the 5 months with you were like a fantasy life - the way it 'could be' outside the constraints of the cult. This of course does not excuse his shocking & disrespectful behaviour to both you & his wife. It also shows what a coward he is, he is unwilling to stand by his marriage or his religion or his great 'love'. This man wants it all but does not want to sacrifice anything to achieve that.

  For what it's worth, my advice re his belongings would be to give them to a charity. With the love letters, photos, etc I would hang onto them for now but write a letter to his previous KH & his wife briefly outlining what has occurred &, if you are willing, you could leave contact details (email address/cell phone no) if they would like some evidence. I would hesitate to send the love letters directly to his wife without her requesting them as this could be really painful. My father had a very long-term affair (10 years!) & when they were caught his lover gave letters to my mother to read & it was devastating for her. It's enough to find out your spouse has been unfaithful, the details are unnecessary. Even though I really detest the JWs your ex still professes to be one of them so he has to accept the consequences of his actions. You may as well use their interfering ways to your advantage because this man does not deserve to get away with this. Yes, it may be vindictive but he chooses to be in a religion that is based on very stringent 'rules'. The elders will punish him & his wife will have the option of divorcing him on scriptural grounds, which may be a relief for her.

  I have the feeling (after seeing all the people that have read this) that after I have done what I did in posting my our relationship last night that they may already know. What do you think?

  I wouldn't be overly concerned about this as this site is considered an 'apostate' site, so even if a JW does recognise who you are talking about it would be very difficult for them to say anything about it without giving themselves away.

  One final thing, if by miracle of miracles your ex-bf does grow some balls I would think very carefully about taking him back. Apart from all the hurt & the pain that he has already subjected you to, it is very difficult being with a JW if you are not one yourself. His JW family & friends will never accept you & will always blame you for the break-down of the marriage & his disfellowshipping - I speak from experience about this.

  All the best

  Cat

  ps Please discontinue the book study with your JW neighbour! You are emotionally vulnerable right now & in a perfect position for the JWs to prey on you. You do not want to get involved in this cult, it is evil & insidious, just read some of the stories on this board to see the damage it has wreaked in people's lives. If you feel spiritually bereft, there are kinder & less judgemental organisations to become involved with - a non-denominational church may be helpful.
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  49

  Can you even stomach the name "Jehovah"?

  by logansrun in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i can't.

  in the few times i have prayed since leaving the dubs i notice i catch myself -- "dear heavenly god jeh----......" there's just so much emotional baggage connected to the name.

  i wish to leave it behind altogether.. b.

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  catlady

  I hate it! To me it represents evil and suffering.
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  20

  Daughter Moving On From JW BF . . .

  by Corvin in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my daughter has been accepting of my intervening in her relationship with an unbaptized jw.

  although still sad at times, she is determined to finish high school (this is her senior year) and go on to college.

  (carl, her x-boyfriend, is a hs drop out and aspires to get a job at guitar center and eventually get certified for smog inspecting automobiles.

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  catlady

  Hey Corvin,

  Sounds like it is going to be a happy-ending story and it was lovely to read that your daughter is spending more time with her girlfriends - boys will come and go but hopefully some of your friends will be forever. Unfortunately I think most females have a story about a jerk like this (I know I have at least a couple) but I'm sure karma will sort them out in the end. It's all part of growing up and your daughter is lucky that she has such a supportive parent to help her through this emotional trauma.

  I have been wondering how Nancy is and if you have had her test results back yet?

  Cheers,

  Cat
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  28

  What's Your View of Telling A Lie???

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you believe that telling a lie is generally no big deal?

  do you try not to lie?

  i know some that will speak the truth no matter how much it might hurt.

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  catlady

  I think everyone lies throughout there whole life. Just from the simple "Hi, how are you?" If don't just give the "fine" that is expected, like you could tell the truth - "not good, the bank's foreclosing on the house, I hate my job, I'm 10kg overweight and they just keep cranking through more reality TV!" But that would kind be a bit creepy and freak people out!

  And then you've got the "kid's" lies, yes there is a Santa, Easter Bunny, Toothfairy; no Mummy & Daddy aren't poor; the other kids at school don't hate you, they're just jealous of you.

  So what I'm saying is I think some lies are fine and often much kinder than the truth. If I ask my partner if my butt looks fat in these jeans he'd better give the right answer! My moral take on the lying is if it's something inconsequental that is going to make someone else feel better or just make your day easier (do you really want to explain to every homeless person who presses you for cash why you won't leave any rather that just the usual "sorry, I don't have any on me").

  But for the big stuff like "The Truth" the lies there are malicious, damaging, evil attempts at justifying their faulty doctrines
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  21

  It hit the fan tonite...

  by beaker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i picked up my kids from my ex (still jw) tonite.

  she wanted to come and get them back off me on sunday morning so she could take the meeting and every sunday meeting.

  of course i wasn't going to agree to that so she said that she wanted them every second weekend so they could go to the meeting.

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  catlady

  Hey Mary,

  As a friend of Beaker's I concur, many a Borg deserve a good beating in my view

  I think the best scenario would be for the parents to work it out between them but in this situation wonder if it is possible, there is so much emotion with all the dub stuff and not much common sense coming from the ex-wife.

  Beaker, if you can, try to talk to your ex face to face in the next few days and state calmly and clearly what your position is on the children's religious education (and also how you now personally feel about the dubs). You may (& pigs may fly) be able to convince her to stop the negative stuff she says about other religions and 'worldy' pursuits & people to the children and assure her that you will not say stuff about the witnesses. You probably need to also explain to the kids why you are not a witness anymore and keep reinforcing that it is OK to go outside the dub boundaries.

  Also, the kids need to be protected from the ongoing friction between you guys, so if she behaves like this in front of them again say "I don't think this is the best time to discuss this" and call her ASAP out of the kids' earshot.

  I'll shut up now.
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  44

  Do you lie about your age in your profile???

  by frankiespeakin in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we all have to be careful about how much information we give out over the net,,it is wise and prudent in some areas,, but what about age???.

  now i know many women don't like to admit they are over 29 what do you think is the percentage of correct profiles in reguards to age??.

  this is private information and i don't want this to be a prying type of thread just reasonable discussion.

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  catlady

  No, my profile's correct, I never worry about lying about my age!

  What I would love to see on the profiles though is more info about people in the bio part. It is understandable that people want to protect their identity but it is very useful to be able to look up whether members are ex/current/never been JW's, married/single, have kids/none, etc. Just helps put peoples comments in perspective & also assists with who to turn to for specific queries. I'm sure it could be done in a way so as not to reveal your real self with just a brief outline of your story.