Posts by dubstepped

13

A Chance To Plant A Seed That We All Have

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

i'd like to brainstorm something with the rest of you.

this summer at the regional conventions we all know by now that a talk on shunning is going to be given.

we all know what that talk will likely point to.

Some thoughts on guilt.

by New day in

had an interesting conversation with my wife recently.

she struggles with physical, emotional and psychological problems which have often caused her to miss meetings.

she mentioned how she is equally tortured by guilt if she misses meetings and ministry, and severe stress if she does them.

Guilt is "I did a bad thing". Shame is " I'm a bad person ". I think that what your wife is really feeling is shame. The Borg work it into their talks and publications, always questioning your true motives. There's a feeling of never being " enough" that gets to the core of who you are. It is manipulative on the part of the organization and a way of controlling good people because they'll do anything not to be bad people. It is twisted reasoning by monsters.

35

out for a long time

by Sledracer in

my husband and i have been out for a long time, maybe fifteen years, i must say we are in a bit of a nowhere land spiritually, we find it impossible to attend any other church.

we really resent so much of how they messed up our and our children's lives.

we can't get back all those 25 years we were in.

dubstepped

15 years out and look at the pull of the indoctrination. You know some of the vile things they do and are actually thinking like a dog returning to its vomit. Victims of abuse always think it will be different this time. It never is.

There is a world full of beautiful people. It sounds like maybe you need to get out and find more of them. The fact that you're thinking like you are shows how dangerous the JWs are.

13

A Chance To Plant A Seed That We All Have

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

i'd like to brainstorm something with the rest of you.

this summer at the regional conventions we all know by now that a talk on shunning is going to be given.

we all know what that talk will likely point to.

dubstepped

Hey Jerryh, thanks so much for the kind words. I hope that you learn some things here that help you to understand your JW relatives. It is definitely not easy to understand from the outside. It is terribly difficult to wake people up, or as someone that is in the organization to give credence to your doubts and wake yourself up. I had doubts since I was a kid, but I always pushed them down because I had so much to lose and because I believed they had the truth. Over the years the true lack of love and the loneliness contrasted with the love that I received outside of the organization started me down a path to emotional healing It was there that I found courage to start leaving.

If I get something put together I'll definitely post it up. I hope that it will inspire others to do the same or similar. This talk that is going to be given over the summer, in all areas, is going to hammer home the shunning practice. I want to take this chance and hopefully magnify the cognitive dissonance that will be caused when that talk is heard.

13

A Chance To Plant A Seed That We All Have

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

i'd like to brainstorm something with the rest of you.

this summer at the regional conventions we all know by now that a talk on shunning is going to be given.

we all know what that talk will likely point to.

dubstepped

Good one ^^^^^^^

Keep 'em coming. I love that one.

21

Commercial activism.

by Ben131895 in

jw
friends

in his last couple of vlogs, john cedars is wearing a t-shirt saying shunned.

some people liked it and asked him if they could purchase one.. in his last vlog (#111) he is advertising it and mentioned the link www.apostee.com, based in the us.

comments attached to vlog # 110 mentioned the fact that this company will close in april and that the business will be continued by cedars itself, who has also a stock of anti-witness items.. besides that, he was not the owner of jwsurvey.org, but since january 16, 2016 he is.. it looks (as mentioned before by simon in an earlier thread), this guy is making a living from his activism, a paid career.. one should seriously question his true motives, demonstrated in his activism.

dubstepped

I have no problem with earning a living off of activism. It allows one to spend more time participating in the activism. Marketing puts the message out there, like it or not. I think that too many people have demonized anyone making a buck. Making money isn't evil, and it takes money to pursue activism. I don't begrudge Simon for putting ads up on this site. It costs money to do all of these things. It is a fact of life, one that idealism can't seem to reconcile.

13

A Chance To Plant A Seed That We All Have

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

i'd like to brainstorm something with the rest of you.

this summer at the regional conventions we all know by now that a talk on shunning is going to be given.

we all know what that talk will likely point to.

dubstepped

My wife's suggestion was a musical card that plays "What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more", lol.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5G1FmU-ldg

I'm thinking more along the lines of something that says "God is Love" "Love Never Fails" and other short attention grabbers at the top with a personalized message underneath contrasting the love that we have for them with the toxic love they're showing by shunning.

I have a friend that is a graphic designer and will really have postcards produced if needed. I think I like the idea of a postcard over a letter because it grabs your attention and can't be unseen.

13

A Chance To Plant A Seed That We All Have

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

i'd like to brainstorm something with the rest of you.

this summer at the regional conventions we all know by now that a talk on shunning is going to be given.

we all know what that talk will likely point to.

dubstepped

I'd like to brainstorm something with the rest of you. This summer at the regional conventions we all know by now that a talk on shunning is going to be given. We all know what that talk will likely point to. Shunning is healthy because it keeps the congregation clean, it is reflective of loyal love shown to Jehovah, and that it is actually loving to us as "unrepentant wrongdoers". You and I know that is garbage.

I believe that most JW's still have their authentic person inside. I did, it was just covered by JW-speak. It hurts to shun other people just as it hurts to be shunned. I did it for years and it always hurt, though out of sight was out of mind until something caught my eye and pricked my authentic self. I knew that shunning wasn't loving.

So, the way I see it, you and I have an opportunity to plant a seed of love to the authentic selves that lie beneath our JW relatives exteriors. There's a soft chocolate center under that toxic candy shell. The GB is about to put another layer of toxic candy shell on top. We have a moment here to reach the center and make it so that when they hear the toxic words from the stage it just might cause them some dissonance.

My challenge is to develop something that I/we can send to our former loved ones prior to that talk that reaches their humanity within so that when the toxic message is presented, maybe, just maybe, it pricks the nerves on that authentic self underneath.

I'm picturing a letter, a VERY short letter, that shows our relatives what love really is. It can't be long because for most of us our relatives may not read anything if they know it is from us, so it has to pack a lot of punch in a few short words. I have even pictured a postcard, almost like and advertisement, something so short and with some key graphics and words that it tugs at the heart underneath the indoctrination.

Maybe a picture of a loving family enjoying a meal together, or embracing, with a message about how "noone has love greater than this, that they would die in behalf of their friends" or how their "exists a friend sticking closer than a brother" or how "love hopes all things, endures all things, never fails", etc. Something as a slogan for the campaign, something quick hitting and scriptural, with a personal message underneath that grabs them really fast and shows them the contrast between love and shunning. This is a chance to plant a seed that might just grow when the shun gun is brought out at the convention.

I'm interested in hearing your feedback. I know that it was the lack of genuine love shown that finally got me to wake up. It was healing emotionally that started my entire process. Then I allowed myself to dive into the deeper doctrinal issues, but to start it was basic humanity that woke me up. I want to take a shot at waking up others by appealing to their basic humanity. Shunning causes cognitive dissonance and if there is an opening in the toxic armor I believe that is where it lies.

14

"I should have known" moments

by dubstepped in

i got ready for the meeting.

my wife did too.

we drove out to the kingdom hall and the closer we got the higher my anxiety would spike.

dubstepped

I got ready for the meeting. My wife did too. We drove out to the Kingdom Hall and the closer we got the higher my anxiety would spike. As we pulled into the parking lot I just felt sick, and I looked at my wife and said "I can't do this", and once again, we turned right around and went home. The feeling of relief was instant the second we left that parking lot and headed home.

This was repeated over and over. Sometimes I made it in and to the meeting. Other times I left before even going in. Eventually I just didn't even want to leave the house and head that way. I had this massive social anxiety that was kicking my ass, and my wife was understanding. Funny how almost all of that went away once I left and disassociated from those people forever. I should have known. I had all of the signs that my body was giving me that the religion and people just wasn't for me, but I ignored it for years.

What about you? Did your mind/body send you messages that looking back you can see was its way of telling you that you were doing something unhealthy? Looking back the signs were there for me. No matter how hard I pushed to fit into their mold, it just literally made me sick.

21

Facing mortality after leaving the witnesses

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

tell me i'm not overly thinking this.. i'm 39 years old...still youngish...but i worry about getting old.

i look in the mirror and it depresses me.

i suppose i still cling to watchtower utopia when no one would age over 25.. i used to look forward to paradise earth because it meant all the evil in the world, nuclear warfare, terrorist attacks and sickos would be no more, but we are deep in the 21st century with no end in sight.. appreciate your comments.

dubstepped

I feel the same way. I'm 38 and just left last year. It's a total mindf*ck to go from never having to die to knowing you will. I'm a naturally anxious person with obsessive thoughts at time and it messes with me regardless of what others have said here. I'm trying to focus more on living a life I can be proud of when looking back on my death bed instead of focusing on the big dirt nap.