Posts by dubstepped

24

"Keep in touch as a family." He said.

by Darkknight757 in

well today was the big day.

we finally let the cat out of the bag to the in-laws about watchtower.

previously there were unknown rumors being spread about me and today i found out why the wife and i are being shunned.

dubstepped

I'm with Millie, I think that they were basically telling you that you're shunned but if family matters need to be discussed they'll be there for it.

My dad, an elder, couldn't answer me either. We never really talked, but one time he, for the first and last time ever, called me on the phone and ranted at me over Biblical stuff. I could name scriptures for my position, he could only say "do you believe in the Bible or not" and was terrible at that whole "make a defense before everyone that demands it of you" thing.

I'm glad that you get to just be who you are now. Bad things hide in the dark, once exposed to the light you can just move on. There may be negative consequences, and I'm sorry that you all will undoubtedly face some, but honestly they're for the best even if they don't feel like it at the time. Toxic people aren't good for you.

11

jehovas witnesses.. evil ??

by hail Mary in

hi why did one of your kind rob my child off me n is currently ruining their life telling them what to say so the court has to take extreme measures for my child to see me???

they're even happy to drag her to the doctor and brand her as mentally ill wholst promoting her conflicted n confused feelings instead of accepting im her mother.. im not a jehovas witness but a good person and a christian my dads an anglican priest im a law abiding good and good natured citizen yet they are messing up her head telling her to say she doesn't want to see,me as court has intervened saying she has to ?

her dad abandoned me pregnant and many years his junior.

dubstepped

By the way, we aren't JWs here, in case you missed it. You're still ranting as if we were. We are ex-JWs, victims of the cult ourselves.

11

jehovas witnesses.. evil ??

by hail Mary in

hi why did one of your kind rob my child off me n is currently ruining their life telling them what to say so the court has to take extreme measures for my child to see me???

they're even happy to drag her to the doctor and brand her as mentally ill wholst promoting her conflicted n confused feelings instead of accepting im her mother.. im not a jehovas witness but a good person and a christian my dads an anglican priest im a law abiding good and good natured citizen yet they are messing up her head telling her to say she doesn't want to see,me as court has intervened saying she has to ?

her dad abandoned me pregnant and many years his junior.

dubstepped

We can only tell you our perspective . You can't make your daughter believe differently. You can't make unreasonable ex family fight fair. We don't know situation, just what little you've told us, and only one side of the story. Kids end up estranged from parents for all kinds of reasons, this just being one. Many times exes poison the minds of children against the other parent or side of the family.

I'd tell you that desperation and frenzy won't serve you well. A good attorney might. Ultimately though if your daughter has been poisoned against you, the only thing you can probably do is to love her and be a great example for her and hope she sees the difference between you and them over time. You can't make people believe what they don't want to believe.

Don't attack her religion in front of her. You will only put her on the defensive side and raise her shields. She'll dig in deeper.

There are JWs that play fair about kids in this scenario. Others are assholes, but you can't even always blame that on the religion. It sounds like you're up against not just a dysfunctional cult, but a dysfunctional family on the other side too. I'm not sure there's a magic bullet here. Get legal counsel, maybe a child psycholgist of some sort could help.

I'm sure others will be along to help. The more information, not emotion, you put out the more chance maybe someone sees something that sparks a thought or experience that could help. I understand why you're devastated and I would be too. Again, I'm sorry you're dealing with them on both the JW level and the messed up family one.

11

jehovas witnesses.. evil ??

by hail Mary in

hi why did one of your kind rob my child off me n is currently ruining their life telling them what to say so the court has to take extreme measures for my child to see me???

they're even happy to drag her to the doctor and brand her as mentally ill wholst promoting her conflicted n confused feelings instead of accepting im her mother.. im not a jehovas witness but a good person and a christian my dads an anglican priest im a law abiding good and good natured citizen yet they are messing up her head telling her to say she doesn't want to see,me as court has intervened saying she has to ?

her dad abandoned me pregnant and many years his junior.

dubstepped

You had me at "insane brainwashing narcissists ". Believe me, you aren't alone. The JWs currently hold many of our families inside their evil cult. We are the ones that made it out. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with them. You nailed religion in just three words . I wish I had never been captive to it myself. Just realize that your child isn't herself, she's under their spell, and hope that in time she wakes up like the rest of us here .

9

Circuit Overseers are putting their resume on LinkedIn? This is new?!

by dropoffyourkeylee in

i am a bit surprised to see what appears to be current and in-good-standing circuit overseers putting their resumes on linkedin.

www.linkedin.com/title/circuit-overseer.

do you know any of these, and are they legit?.

dubstepped

Why would they even need LinkedIn profiles? Those are for professional networking. COs don't work secularly.

27

Question: Can't You Just Ignore A Judicial Committee?

by Sorry in

one thing i've never understood is judicial committees.

yes, i understand it's held to see if elders should go through with the disfellowshipping process.

but why give them all the power?

dubstepped

If you don't show up they'll DF you by default, which shows the presumption of guilt is the way they work . Guilty is what they truly want to find you.

12

Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR)

by Simon in

i stumbled across something the other day that made me sit up because it seemed to perfectly describe a feeling i experience from time to time that apparently isn't uncommon.. it's called autonomous sensory meridian response or "asmr" and is a kind of tingly feeling on/in your head.

you can read about it here:.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/autonomous_sensory_meridian_response.

dubstepped

Do you happen to listen to Beautiful Anonymous, Simon? If so, I heard the same, though I have a friend that likes to listen to it.

55

Let's Be Honest - You or One of Your Ancestors Was an Idiot

by Simon in

why were we ever a jw?

were we mad?

we must have been .... well, my excuse is that i knew nothing else.

dubstepped

Could something small have changed the course of your life?

Dad lost his job because the factory that paid very well moved away and we had to move to cheaper housing. Guess who we moved in next door to? Yep, a crazy JW family. That one move screwed our lives.

Mom wasn't an idiot, per se, but was very damaged and prone to predators. The people next door were predators, abusing their children in every way, and predators, treating our family like garbage over the years. My mom idolized the insane mom next door who took her under her wing and taught her "the truth". Life would never be the same again.

I found out recently that my mom had severe trauma in her own past. She is a very smart lady, but emotionally very hurt, and I think she was just looking for all of the answers to her life. JWs have an answer or some sort for everything and offer a very attractive future benefits plan, even though it's all bullshit.

28

So getting disfellowshipped sounds kind of great.

by schnell in

i grew up in this religion, i was baptized at 14, married at 27, and now i'm 31. i'm also evolutionist and atheist.

i wanted this to be the truth.

i spent years as an apologist trying to reconcile everything.

dubstepped

Just for transparency, it is unlikely that your letter will be read in it's entirety or that more than maybe one or two elders will look at it. But in my view, that letter isn't for them, it's for you. It was cathartic to sit and write some of those things out. I actually went for the kill them with kindness letter to freak them out and not be what they would think I would be, and I can say that it worked. I forgot to sign mine and they had to call me to verify that I wrote it, which makes sense, so I let them know and was so nice to them. I went out as the good and kind person that I wanted to be. I wanted to be better than them, not to play into their preconceived notions. That was my style, and they were blown away by my attitude when talking with them. Like I said though, that was me, and you've got to do you. If you write one at some point, on your own timeline, do it however you want, however you will look back later and feel good about it.

28

So getting disfellowshipped sounds kind of great.

by schnell in

i grew up in this religion, i was baptized at 14, married at 27, and now i'm 31. i'm also evolutionist and atheist.

i wanted this to be the truth.

i spent years as an apologist trying to reconcile everything.

dubstepped

I've said it once and I'll say it again, who is "playing their game", the guy that stays in and has to lie and hide things or the guy that tells them to fuck off with a disassociation letter and therefore ends all contact? That whole "playing their" game bit has been played out over and over and as one that disassociated, I got to stop playing it. Game over. In the meantime I watch the majority of you that fade go through so much drama to keep your fade going.

It's up to you schnell as to what you want to do. There is nothing wrong with disassociating if that's your choice. My wife and I did it and life has been so much better since leaving. It is all quiet on the toxic JW front, unlike many who fade and have to "play the game" for family and/or friends.

You do you. Only you know what you want, and of course you need to work alongside your wife with this. If you want to fade, that's fine, but realize that you'll have to pretend not to be the real you when in among those people, thus playing their game. If you want to end the game, there's a tool for that too, but it is permanent and you can't un-ring that bell. We've not regretted it.